Problem Gambling and Disability

My mother who has been diagnosed with several mental issues which include being bi-polar and manic depressive has finally left her verbally abusive husband. She is fully disabled with a fixed income from both the military and social security.
The issue is that besides my brother who lives in California (my mother and I both live in Oklahoma) she has been disowned by all other family members so I’m the only one who besides social workers that is available to help her.
She is in debt to the tune of somewhere around $10k (I’m working to track down all her creditors) but has an income of $4300 a month so I know that if I can get her setup with a Payee and a budget we can get her out of debt.
A social worker from the VA pointed me to a veterans Payee resource who said they couldn’t help her for a couple of months and I’m worried she will gamble/spend herself out of the new apartment I found for her before then. I’ve gotten her to commit to going to GA and getting a Payee but I haven’t been able to find a reputable resource.
Not to sound arrogant but I’m great with money and budgeting so I don’t necessarily need advice on that, my question is more of an experience one in that I’m looking for anyone who has had a similar situation or experience as or with a Payee. Am I foolish for thinking I can take this on myself for a short time?

Summary :
My story about Dota addiction, how to come out of it?, how to check whether you are addicted to dota ? and finally some tips to improve MMR.
My story :
During my university time, I missed my exams due to playing DOTA 1. I stopped dota one fine day and I cleared all my exams. Fast forward 10 years, last year I got in trouble at work for playing DOTA, I used to play for 5-6 hours on weekdays post work and 10-12 hours during weekends. I am a software engineer with good pay and the work might extend to 10-12 hours but with DOTA I want to log off everyday at 7-8 hours so I was unable to meet the deadlines. I also got into trouble with my wife as well (We got into multiple fights but she still stayed and din’t leave me). I was addicted to Dota. I found that DOTA + Alcohol is bad mixture. I had issues on my eyes and back. I felt like my life which is just time is just vanishing out of me. My highest MMR was 3k in 2020 and I used to play support.
Dota Addiction:
I would define addiction as you continue playing multiple games even when you want to stop and you start playing even when you don’t want to start.
My views on Dota :
Dota is likely the best or one of the best known games to mankind with great repetitive plays. It is really an awesome game. I can spend countless hours on it and still learn new things. It seems like I can keep playing it for almost infinite time or till the end of my life(it might be worth it but you will miss out on ever other thing).
Future for me :
I will and want to play dota once again when I retrie or if I can’t do other things in life due to disability. (I have also used DOTA as a tool of coming out of or avoiding depression during a death of a loved one, because I know DOTA will suck me up so that I won’t have time to be sad. ). After quitting Dota for many months, I started watching DOTA pro plays and I think I might just continue doing that.
Who should play dota ?
I know some guys could just play 1-2 games everyday an sign off. I think their brain is wired different so that they could keep it under control. There might be folks who will play 4-5 games on a weekend but still participate well in education/job and personal life. For these folks I think it good to relax or a reasonable use. If you think your education/job and personal life is affected or if you feel that you lose control of yourself in Dota then may be DOTA might not be the best for you.
Info for you guys :
If you are addicted to DOTA like how I was. Remember the only way to overcome it is to quit it completely. I have tried to play Dota again and again on multiple different years after a gap, ended up getting addicted every time and spent weeks/months trying to quit it. If DOTA is very addictive maybe your brain is not suitable for reasonable use of DOTA like my brain. Don’t lose your life on DOTA unless you are a pro player or you got nothing else to do. Dota is ultimately just a game (may be the best game ever) which is supposed to a small part of life for most of us, there are so many other good things in life to enjoy like getting good education, job, wife etc and also good hobbies like ‘A song of ice and fire’, ‘Terra Mystica’, ‘Attack on Titan’ etc. If Dota is eating away your life, then don’t let it.
Steps to overcome DOTA addiction

Stop playing dota, stop starting to play dota.
Uninstall Ask your friend to change the password and not give you.
Stop thinking about DOTA (Very important, more you think the more strong the neural connections in your brain)
Stop watching or reading about DOTA
Focus your mind on something else like reading a novel, work or another simple non addictive game.
If you had been addicted twice then don’t come back after months of quitting.

My advice on improving MMR:
I went from 1k to 3k in a few months. (I quit within few days of becoming 3k.)

Play a role/character which is impactful to the game to increase MMR and don’t play a character which you love. (I love Venomancer and Troll but they don’t give me MMR. But other characters which I love lesser than Troll like KOTL with will o wisp ulti, VS, Ogre and WK helphed me increase MMR from 2k to 3k).
If you can’t do well with a particular character after trying multiple times, no matter how much you love it, stop playing that charater for some time. Ensure that you try on a variety of characters before choosing which 5-10 to spam.
If you are in lower bracket then spam the characters which are good at meta. I used to spam Huskar mid for 1k to 2k. I was huskar mid with 70% win rate and 150 games. (Supports have harder time climbing up from lower MMR, thats why I spammed a core huskar to climb up. The cores in lower bracket are unreliable so you can spam ur way up a bit by playing core then switch to support on a higher bracket)
If you are a support then team up with a good core and play multiple games with him. One good core carry player helped me grow from 2.5k to 3k. Now I am no longer gambling to get a good random core from online. I know that if I do my job well my core is going to do his job well as well. (if you find one good player in your team, invite them again for another match as well)
Remember you only control a few things in a game, there could be a smurf in the opponent team, big noob in your team or unlucky deaths. So it is okay to lose such games. Just focus on how to improve yourself instead of directly trying to win many games.

Over the course of 34 days in the spring of 2018, three unsettling crimes played out in the city of Bakersfield, California. The families of the three victims realized their children all knew each other and ran in the same circles, and they began to suspect that all three crimes were connected. But what began as a crusade for justice among grieving parents took a shocking turn when investigators discovered that the so-called Bakersfield 3 were embroiled in a criminal underworld of black-market weapons smuggling, the Hells Angels, unspecified ties to drug cartels, torture and kidnapping, and a convicted felon nicknamed “The Boogeyman of Bakersfield.”
This is a genuinely bizarre case, and while I’ve never written up a case for this sub before, I’ve been following this story closely for the past couple years. The last time it was mentioned on here over a year ago, but there have been some huge recent developments in the last year that I thought deserved as comprehensive a telling as possible. And despite all that, it's nowhere near resolved. So without further ado...
Part 1: Missing
On March 23,2018, Micah Holsonbake, 34, went missing in East Bakersfield near the intersection of Flower Street and Mount Vernon Avenue. Micah was a clean-cut dad who worked in finance, a former high school debater who loved karaoke despite not being any good at it. He was presumed endangered missing until August 22, 2018, when teenagers swimming near a local park found an arm in the Kern River that was identified as his. The rest of his body has never been found.
On April 18, 2018, James Kulstad, 38, was murdered on a quiet block in Southwest Bakersfield. A father of two daughters, James was a serial entrepreneur described as the type of man who “could sell a dollar bill on the side of the road for a million dollars if he could just get 5 minutes with you.” His brother Ryan heard the gunshots from the next street over, but didn’t see the shooter, and he claims he held James as he died in his arms.
On April 25, 2018, Baylee Parrent-Despot, 20, disappeared from Rosedale, the upper-middle-class neighborhood in Northwest Bakersfield where she’d grown up. Baylee described herself as a “flower child” who had been born in the wrong generation. After facing a number of serious challenges, she was struggling to get her life back on track, and was said to be pregnant and trying to leave her boyfriend when she went missing. She has never been heard from again.
Local media christened Micah, James, and Baylee the “Bakersfield 3” after the victims’ families discovered that all three victims knew one another. In the wake of the links between all three disappearances coming to light, Micah’s father told a local news reporter, “Just to be blunt, something happened to Micah… and a month later something happened to Baylee, and I think it’s because she knew what happened to Micah.” And in between them, there was James Kulstad, who ran in the same drug-fueled circles as Baylee and had helped Micah move just weeks before they both were killed. Bakersfield is a city of half a million people, but on a social level, it can feel as insular as any small town — you’re rarely more than one or two degrees removed from anyone you meet — and even in a city where everyone seems to know everyone, it’s hard to buy three friends all going missing within the space of a month by sheer coincidence. But as time went on with few official developments in the investigation, it seemed like people largely lost interest in the case by late 2019.
Then, in 2020, the Kern County District Attorney’s office charged three people with a total of 34 different charges, ranging from first degree murder, torture, kidnapping, assault with a firearm, and illegal manufacturing of assault weapons. Two of the defendants were already in custody — and the third may not even be alive.
Part 2: Some Local Context
By every metric, Bakersfield is just a flat-out terrible place to live. It’s my hometown, I left for a reason, and the reason is that it sucks. Kern County suffers from a slew of serious socioeconomic and public health problems, the largest of which is probably related to economic and income inequality. A fifth of the population is under the poverty line, and crime rates are sky-high, especially drug-related ones. Opioid abuse is rampant, though it still falls second to methamphetamine, the most widespread drug in the area. There’s a significant issue with white supremacist gang violence. When I was 16, my 70-year-old next-door neighbor got stabbed in a biker gang fight at a tattoo parlor by a Hells Angel called “Delano Mike.” A high school chemistry teacher was literally arrested for trying to make meth in his classroom three months before Breaking Bad even premiered. This is a region with a lot of serious problems that go deeper than any one symptom, but suffice it to say, there’s a reason I moved away as soon as I tuned 18.
The other thing you need to know is that despite being one of the most conservative cities in California, there’s a widespread distrust of law enforcement outside of the police and courts themselves — and, frankly, for good reason. Corruption in the justice system is widespread, and basically a local tradition dating back to the tenure of longtime district attorney Ed Jagels, perhaps best known for ramming through 36 false convictions of ritual child abuse at the height of the satanic panic. (34 were eventually overtured, and the other two people convicted died in prison and never saw justice.) Jagels’ history of prosecutorial misconduct is also the subject of Mean Justice, a 600-page doorstopper by Pulitzer-winning author Edward Humes about the wrongful conviction of Pat Dunn, who is currently serving a life sentence for the murder of his wife despite a wealth of evidence that would suggest his innocence. In 2002, Jagels’ protege, an assistant district attorney named Steve Tauzer, was murdered by a former Bakersfield police deputy, Chris Hillis, after Hillis allegedly learned that Tauzer had a sexual relationship with Hillis’ 22-year-old son, an addict in recovery; facing first-degree murder charges, he pled out to manslaughter and received a 12-year prison sentence.
In 2015, The Guardian published an in-depth exposé about how widespread corruption within the local law enforcement community led to Kern County having the highest rate of police killings in the country: the deadliest cops per capita. And over the past several years, the Kern County law enforcement community has been mired in a police corruption scandal in which members of the BPD abused asset forfeiture laws to illegally seize guns, drugs, and money from suspects, which they in turn trafficked for personal gain. All this is to say that Bakersfield cops and prosecutors have not engendered much public trust outside of their own communities. In a city with high rates of violent crime, law enforcement has consistently put its own interests above public safety, justice, or victims’ rights. That's just something to keep in mind while reading.
Part 3: Down the Rabbit Hole
Micah
In the weeks and months prior to Micah Holsonbake’s disappearance, his family could tell that something was troubling him. Lance and Cheryl Holsonbake both recalled their son behaving erratically in the days before he vanished. But none of it seemed to make any sense coming from someone like Micah, whose family described him as intelligent and hard-working. He had a comfortable upbringing in Rosedale and worked his way into a lucrative career as a financial advisor despite only one year of college. In the photo his family circulated following his disappearance, he wore the suit and tie and placid smile of someone posing for a corporate headshot. But Micah was going through a dark time following a rocky separation from his wife and family, and had been struggling with a painkiller addiction for the past two years. The year before, he’d been laid off from his job after going on disability leave due to depression.
According to court documents, Micah owed drug-related debts to members of the Hells Angels as well as “the cartel.” One friend of Micah’s told police his life seemed to be headed in a downward spiral after he lost the ability to see his son, and often got in fights with others at bars. In one witness statement, an unidentified woman told police of a prior incident when she and Holsonbake were kidnapped at gunpoint and driven to an orchard in west Bakersfield. Holsonbake bolted from the vehicle as it was moving, she told police. That account was corroborated by a friend of Holsonbake's who told police that he said he had been kidnapped at gunpoint. He told his parents that he feared for his life, frequently thought he was being followed in his car, and rambled about various people he believed were out to get him, but they mostly wrote it off.
James
Micah had been hanging around with James Kulstad for some time before he disappeared. It’s not clear when they first met, but it appears they become friendly through the drug scene. Like Micah, James first became addicted to prescription painkillers after being hit by a car, before progressing to fentanyl patches and eventually heroin. He’d been a single father to his daughters Camryn and August. His obituary characterized him as a free-wheeling surfer who held a patent for an action sports product and earned the nickname “Joe Vegas” for his love of gambling and table games. Camryn, now 19, says she and James had an especially close relationship after her mother died when Camryn was an infant, and James often warned her against getting involved with drugs and partying in a clear-headed way, which made it even harder to watch him spiral downward in the years before his death. “I felt like I lost him before I even lost him, but I worked so hard,” she told a reporter. “I was working so hard on everything I could do to make him get better… I was hanging onto hope and whoever killed him took that away from me. I don’t have that anymore, I don’t have hope.”
In the wake of her father’s death, Camryn says that a number of stories and rumors about his life surfaced, further complicating her grief. “Some of the stories I’ve heard is that he was a really bad person these last 3 years,” she said in 2019. On the night of his murder, James reportedly drove to an acquaintance’s home in Southwest Bakersfield where his brother Ryan Kulstad was hanging out. Ryan claims that the homeowner allegedly owed money to James and told Ryan that if James came over to his house, he’d “call his boys and they’d come over there strapped,” which Ryan says he didn’t interpret as a serious threat. Ryan and James reportedly argued about this on the phone, and James showed up at the house a couple hours later. Ryan says he had just returned from driving someone else home and noticed a driver in a silver sedan behaving suspiciously as he returned to the house. Moments later, Ryan and his unidentified male passenger heard gunshots on the next block: an unknown gunman opened fire on James from another car, causing him to crash into a parked trailer. The same silver sedan was seen speeding away from the scene.
The owner of the home where this all took place was Dr. Sukhjeet Bajwa, who at the time was a chiropractor with a local practice. Bajwa lived in a quiet subdivision in Southwest Bakersfield. It was an unlikely setting for a drive-by, and according to initial news reports, police were at a loss for the motive behind the killing, or what James was even doing in the neighborhood at all. Then things began to unravel: Bajwa, it turned out, had been arrested twice in 2016 and 2017 after driving while impaired, and in addition to liquid heroin, Xanax, and hydrocodone, police also found two unregistered, loaded guns in his car, an AR-15 and a .22LR semi-automatic rifle with a fake silencer attached. All of this was detailed in a disciplinary complaint filed by the California Board of Chiropractic Examiners, and after Bajwa’s name began repeatedly surfacing in connection with the shooting, a rumor began to circulate about a black-market gun and drug trafficking ring in which Bajwa was supposedly a central figure.
It was the type of conspiracy theory most people instinctively write off as too bizarre to be credible. But it must have rung a bell to Lance Holsonbake. Before Micah’s disappearance, he told his father that he was “putting together guns for people,” according to a 2019 interview. Lance said he reacted in disbelief to this confession, because the idea that Micah would risk his career by getting involved in illegal gun manufacturing just didn’t make sense. “If you’re this afraid, just stop,” Lance recalls telling him. “And he’d say, ‘I can’t do that I can’t do that.’ He was afraid he did that they would hurt his family.” He wrote it off as paranoia exaggerated by his son’s drug use, and didn’t know how much of it was real and how much was in Micah’s mind. According to Lance, Bakersfield police initially suggested that Micah had left town of his own volition after getting mixed up in criminal activity and, from what I can tell, didn’t make much of an effort to investigate. Though the family says he was last seen on March 23, 2018, Bakersfield police claimed he wasn’t reported missing until April 4, and it appears they waited until April 13, when he’d been missing for almost a month, before BPD made its first public statement regarding his disappearance. After James was murdered a few days later, the Holsonbake and Kulstad families grew increasingly frustrated with the apparent lack of interest in investigating either case, and told the media later that as they began digging into the circumstances surrounding both cases, one name kept coming up with everyone they talked to: Baylee Despot. And within a week, Baylee Despot had also gone missing in Bakersfield.
Baylee
Baylee Parrent-Despot was 20 years old when she was reported missing in April 2018, and the families say that it was her disappearance that finally motivated the police and local news to start investigating the links between all three cases, for reasons that seem obvious to anyone who has ever seen the media react to a pretty white 20-year-old going missing. Her sister, Katelyn Parrent, describes her as “a girl that’s grown up in a good neighborhood, raised by good parents, had a good childhood, could’ve had everything she ever wanted,” much like James and Micah. And beneath the surface, she was as troubled as either of the men: after graduating high school, she’d run off to Vegas to marry her boyfriend, but their rocky relationship turned into an abusive marriage that ended just a year later in 2017. In the aftermath, she wrecked her car, lost her job, and in her mother’s words, “Her life just spiraled out of control.”
In July 2017, Baylee was arrested for disorderly conduct in front of her friend Micah Holsonbake’s house. This came as a surprise to her sister, who had at one point been friendly with Micah herself — she didn’t realize he and Baylee even knew each other. But even though he was 14 years Baylee’s senior, Katelyn remembered him as a clean-cut guy who worked at a bank, and their mother, Jane Parrent, says Micah helped her get a restraining order against an abusive ex-boyfriend. They didn’t see any cause for concern. Still, Baylee’s life continued to spiral out of control. The following month, she was drugged and gang-raped at an acquaintance’s apartment complex. She disappeared for days at a time and resurfaced with “horrible stories” or pleading phone calls begging to be picked up. On one occasion, Katelyn remembers, “She had none of her belongings, no shoes… A couple nights after that there were two vehicles that came to pick her up and we could tell by the look on her face that she didn’t want to go, but if she didn’t go, we didn’t know what would happen.”
Matthew
Not long after that incident, Baylee had a new boyfriend. Matthew Queen was 43 years old, a convicted felon, and an all-around bad dude. Not much is known about his background, with one major exception: in the early 2000s, he plead guilty to one count of making a false statement to a federal firearms dealer after he used a false address, but his real name, to purchase $11,000 in guns from dealers in Indiana. Many of those guns were later recovered at crime scenes in Detroit and Chicago. If you want an idea of what type of criminal mastermind we’re dealing with here, I recommend reading just the final ruling on that case from the 7th Circuit court of appeals:

“We reject Queen's argument that gun buyers may lie about a street address so long as they live within the state where the gun is sold . . . Queen in fact had once lived in an apartment at 2072 Egret Court, but he did not live at this address when he completed the forms and bought the guns because he was evicted on December 18, 2000, for nonpayment of rent."

Great. Sounds like a great guy.
Lest you assume Matthew Queen might have hypothetically seen the error of his ways and cleaned up his act after this early foray into gunrunning, he absolutely did not. In December 2017, just a couple weeks into Matthew and Baylee’s relationship, they were arrested after police found four unmarked, unregistered, loaded assault rifles in Matthew’s car during a traffic stop. Neither he or Baylee said a word to the police, but while Matthew (who, as a convicted felon, was prohibited from carrying any guns or ammunition at all) was charged with several felonies, while Baylee pled no contest to a lesser misdemeanor and received three years probation. Later that month, she moved in with Matthew, his mother, and his estranged wife. Baylee’s family saw and heard even less from her. And in April, a month after Micah’s disappearance and just one day after she and Matthew attended a court date for the weapons charges, Baylee went missing. Her mother believed she was pregnant with Matthew’s child and was trying to leave him at the time. Matthew told police that she had connections through her father's side of the family with a Mexican drug cartel and believed they had something to do with her disappearance.
Local interest in the case reached an even greater frenzy after Micah’s severed arm was found in the Kern River in Hart Park on the east side of town, not far from from where he was last seen. It was positively identified in late December 2018. By this point, the family of the Bakersfield 3's investigation had amassed around 10,000 followers on Facebook and another 5,000 in a private group, and the story was a fixture on local news. Another curveball came around this time too, when a former friend of Baylee’s named Sara Wedemeyer, 21, filed a restraining order against Baylee’s mother, Jane Parrent. As it was reported, Sara had moved in with Matthew mere weeks after Baylee disappeared, and she was four months pregnant with his child when she attempted to take out legal action against Mrs. Parrent, whom she claimed was harassing her and her “fiancé” by hanging up missing person fliers in their neighborhood. The restraining order wasn't granted, but Queen allegedly began making disturbing social media posts about Baylee, Micah, and the Parrent family, with Mrs. Parrent as the primary target. And in mid-2019, the investigation seemed to grind to a halt.
Part 4: New Developments
On May 27, 2020, roughly two years after the first developments in the Bakersfield 3 case, the Kern County District Attorney held at a press conference to announce they believe Baylee Despot and Matthew Queen “deliberately and with premeditation" murdered Micah Holsonbake. Despot and Queen, along with a third man, Matthew Vandecasteele, were charged with the alleged kidnapping, torture, and first degree murder, as well as unlawful manufacturing of assault weapons, conspiracy relating to the murder and torture plot, and a slew of other assault and gun charges (34 in total). Queen and Vandacasteele were both in custody at the time the charges against them were filed, but even though Baylee still has not been seen or heard from since 2018, the DA’s office issued a warrant for her arrest, leading some to speculate she may still be alive.
According to court records, Matthew Queen allegedly believed that Micah Holsonbake had stolen a .44-caliber revolver from him. He and Baylee Despot kidnapped Micah, zip-tied him to a chair in Matthew Vandecasteele’s garage, and attempted to torture him in order to extract information from him. A blood stain in the garage matched Holsonbake’s DNA. Vandecasteele told police that he didn’t see or hear Micah on the night he was killed, but knew that the other two had brought him there to question him. After several hours, Baylee allegedly returned to the apartment seeming “flustered” and changed her clothes in a back bedroom. Before they left, “Queen told Vandecasteele that he had cleaned everything up and it was OK to go inside the garage.” The next day, Queen returned to Vandecasteele’s apartment and said he “needed help disposing of something” in a large black storage container in the trunk of his car. Vandecasteele claims he refused to help with disposing of the body, but according police reports, his Google history during that period of time included searches for “lye chemical formula,” “lye for sale” and “how long does it take to dissolve a human body,” as well as browsing for lye on the Home Depot and Lowe’s websites.
Queen, Despot, and Vandacasteele allegedly manufactured and sold AR-15s from gun build kits. Other witness testimony released by the courts described various kidnappings that witnesses allege Queen, known as “the boogeyman of Bakersfield,” committed. In one incident, Queen allegedly handcuffed one victim to a chair and put an electric dog collar around his neck because he believed the man had stolen a gun part from him. Another witness said that Queen and Vandacasteele showed up armed at his hotel room after the witness told Baylee where he was staying, and that he believed they intended to kill him because he’d been arrested “with a large quantity of narcotics that he was fronted or given without paying for them and the people who had gave him the narcotics could have been upset.” (According to the police report, surveillance footage from the hotel corroborates this account.)
It’s also believed that he made anonymous calls to the police tip line to misdirect the investigation away from himself: one such caller referred to Baylee as a “sugar momma,” a phrase which Queen reportedly used to describe her when he spoke to investigators in August 2019, and he also used the same pseudonym on the tip line that he did on social media. When police questioned him around this time, he denied being part of a criminal enterprise and claimed he could barely pay his bills. Then, while out on bail for unrelated gun charges in January 2019, Queen allegedly kidnapped another man at gunpoint and forced him to walk into the Kern River while Queen accused him of snitching to the cops. He’s been in custody since July of 2019 due to this kidnapping.
Part 5: No Body, No Crime
So where is Baylee Despot?
According to official statements from law enforcement, no one knows. After the warrant was issued for her arrest, a wave of speculation followed that she had faked her own death or fled to Mexico with the help of unspecified “cartel connections.” That story seems less and less likely as more details have emerged from court documents. Vandecasteele told the police that Despot was “falling apart mentally” after murdering Micah. He and Queen both suspected that she was cooperating with police on an investigation relating to the illegal weapons charges, called her a “snitch” in one interview, and told investigators he believed Queen “made her disappear.” In one interview, a female witness said Queen kidnapped her at gunpoint, took her to an orchard, and held an AR-15 to her head while he questioned her about whether Baylee was faithful to him.
When police questioned him about Baylee’s disappearance in July 2019, he said was depressed and off her medications, and she had said she wanted to die. When the investigator told Queen there had been allegations of domestic violence involving him and Baylee, some of which resulted in bruises, Queen said he never laid a hand on anyone. He told the detective she was clumsy. Despite all of this, Jane Parrent says that police have told her that they don’t consider Matthew Queen a person of interest in Baylee’s disappearance, and that there is "no known physical evidence that definitively confirms her possible death." She is now offering her own personally-funded $1000 reward for information about her daughter’s location.
The rest of Micah Holsonbake’s body has not been recovered, though according to court documents, investigators believe Queen may have buried him in the hills near Taft, a rural area about 45 minutes west of Bakersfield.
There have been no developments in the investigation of James Kulstad’s murder since 2018. Anyone with information is urged to contact the Bakersfield Police Department at (661) 327-7111, or the Kern Secret Witness program at (661) 322-4040. A reward of up to $10,000 is being offered for information leading to an arrest in this case.
Ultimately, what really frustrates me about this case is that even after this avalanche of charges, so many questions remain unresolved, and not just what happened and who did it, but why. If the investigation concluded that James Kulstad’s death was unrelated to the disappearances of Baylee and Micah, who ordered his murder, and what was the reason? To what extent was the chiropractor involved with Queen and Vandecasteele’s trafficking racket? Was Sara Wedemeyer involved with Baylee’s disappearance, and if not, how’d she end up living with Matthew and expecting his child just two months after her “friend” went missing? Why did Sara and Matthew harass Baylee’s mother for months after the disappearance?
More than anything, I’m still lost as to Baylee Despot’s motivation for any of this. Did she just find herself in too deep with no way out? Did she actively make the choice to become a gunrunner? Did Matthew, looking to settle a grudge against Micah, seek out a relationship with Baylee with the intention of using her to get to him? Did he kill her because she was cooperating with the cops, because she attempted to leave him, or because he was just a sociopath who felt she was no longer useful?
Or is there a chance that law enforcement knows more than they’ve let on? When investigators told Mrs. Parrent that Matthew isn’t a suspect in her disappearance, was that an indication that she may, in fact, be alive?
Probably not. But at this point, anything is possible.
Sources:

Baylee’s page on The Charley Project: https://charleyproject.org/case/baylee-cheyanne-despot
First news story about Micah Holsonbake’s disappearance, 4/13/20: https://www.bakersfield.com/news/breaking/man-reported-missing-april-has-medical-condition-family-says/article_8af62936-3f73-11e8-a82e-4b2ef30f031f.html
“Baylee Parrent-Despot reported missing for more than a month,” 6/8/18: https://www.turnto23.com/news/local-news/baylee-parrent-despot-reported-missing-for-more-than-a-month
“The Bakersfield 3: Reward offered in Baylee Despot case,” 9/18/18: https://www.kget.com/news/the-bakersfield-3-reward-offered-in-baylee-despot-case/
“Bakersfield 3 mothers recall their last contact with children,” news article dated 10/24/18 https://www.bakersfield.com/news/momma-loves-you-bakersfield-mothers-recall-their-last-contact-with/article_418f70a8-d7e0-11e8-ac3c-67a7fc8df3d1.html
“BPD: Missing man in Bakersfield 3 believed to have been killed, and his death shares similarities with disappearance of missing woman,” 10/20/18: https://www.bakersfield.com/news/breaking/bpd-missing-man-in-bakersfield-believed-to-have-been-killed/article_fbeb8eb4-04b8-11e9-bb07-17e07813288b.html
“Mother of missing woman fights harassment claims stemming from her daughter’s disappearance,” 12/18/18: https://www.kget.com/news/mother-of-missing-woman-fights-harassment-claims-stemming-from-her-daughters-disappearance/
“Micah Holsonbake dead; DNA test confirms arm found in river his,” 12/20/18: https://bakersfieldnow.com/news/local/bpd-believes-a-man-missing-since-march-was-murdered
“Stories behind the Bakersfield 3,” 12/20/18: https://www.kget.com/news/homicide-news/stories-behind-the-bakersfield-3/1669785945/
Ryan Kulstad appearance on Dr. Phil, 1/14/19: https://www.drphil.com/videos/a-young-man-describes-what-led-up-to-him-holding-his-older-brother-in-his-arms-as-he-died/
“A closer look at the Bakersfield 3: Where is Baylee Despot?,” 3/5/19: https://www.kget.com/news/local-news/domestic-violence/a-closer-look-at-the-bakersfield-3-where-is-baylee-despot/
“A closer look at the Bakersfield 3: Who killed James Kulstad?” 3/6/19: https://www.kget.com/news/a-closer-look-at-the-bakersfield-3-who-killed-james-kulstad/
“A closer look at the Bakersfield 3: What happened to Micah Holsonbake?” 3/7/19: https://www.kget.com/news/a-closer-look-at-the-bakersfield-3-what-happened-to-micah-holsonbake/
“One year later, mothers of Bakersfield 3 continue their search for answers,” 3/23/19: https://www.bakersfield.com/news/one-year-later-mothers-of-bakersfield-3-continue-their-search-for-answers/article_528a7650-4cfc-11e9-886c-23d55ec3c32d.html
“One year since death of James Kulstad, one of the 'Bakersfield 3’,” 4/8/19: https://www.turnto23.com/news/local-news/one-year-since-death-of-james-kulstad-one-of-the-bakersfield-3
“Mother of missing Baylee Despot speaks out on arrest of kidnapping suspect Matthew Queen,” 7/15/19: https://www.kget.com/news/local-news/mother-of-missing-baylee-despot-speaks-out-on-arrest-of-kidnapping-suspect-matthew-queen/
“Investigating the mysteries of what happened to the Bakersfield 3,” 11/3/19: https://www.turnto23.com/news/crime/investigating-the-mysteries-of-what-happened-to-the-bakersfield-3
“Defendant in alleged kidnapping waives right to preliminary hearing,” 11/9/19: https://www.bakersfield.com/news/defendant-in-alleged-kidnapping-waives-right-to-preliminary-hearing/article_b5a3274c-00c4-11ea-a1e9-635cd4a35c9e.html
“More charges filed against accused kidnapper Matthew Queen,” 1/1/20: https://www.kget.com/news/crime-watch/more-charges-filed-against-kidnapping-suspect-matthew-queen/
Press release announcing charges filed against Queen, Despot, and Vandacasteele: https://www.kerncounty.com/home/showpublisheddocument?id=4595
“Matthew Queen makes a court appearance in connection to 'Bakersfield 3' case,” 6/12/20: https://www.turnto23.com/news/crime/matthew-queen-make-a-court-appearance-in-connection-to-bakersfield-3-case
“‘Bakersfield 3’ member Micah Holsonbake believed killed by Matthew Queen over alleged stolen gun, defendant says in court documents,” 6/18/20: https://www.kget.com/news/crime-watch/bakersfield-3-member-micah-holsonbake-was-killed-by-matthew-queen-over-alleged-stolen-gun-defendant-says-in-court-documents/
“Documents suggest Micah Holsonbake was afraid of suspect Matthew Queen; suggest Queen attempted to mislead investigation,” 6/17/20: https://www.turnto23.com/news/crime/documents-suggest-micah-holsonbake-was-afraid-of-suspect-matthew-queen-suggest-queen-attempted-to-mislead-investigation
“Documents detail depth of investigation into suspected murder of Bakersfield 3 member,” 6/19/20: https://www.bakersfield.com/news/documents-detail-depth-of-investigation-into-suspected-murder-of-bakersfield-3-membearticle_ac1fb9a4-b278-11ea-962b-6b8ee0b03647.html
“Bakersfield 3 update: Matthew Queen appears in court, pleas not guilty to all charges,” 6/11/20: https://bakersfieldnow.com/news/local/bakersfield-3-update-matthew-queen-appears-in-court-pleas-not-guilty-to-all-charges
“‘Bakersfield 3’ member Micah Holsonbake was afraid of murder suspect Matthew Queen, became increasingly paranoid before he disappeared, documents say,” 6/17/20
Appellate court decision against Matthew Queen: https://law.justia.com/cases/federal/appellate-courts/F3/408/337/509670/
Obituary of James Kulstad: https://www.legacy.com/obituaries/bakersfield/obituary.aspx?n=james-john-kulstad&pid=188771330&fhid=6140

This was on FAM. weird sauce
OP says she never made any more money than she needed (I can’t tell if this was on purpose or what). That was the first thing that rubbed me wrong.
Then after Dad dies, OPs youngest sister takes OPs share of the insurance, because... no reason given, just that Little sister has it and will dole it out as necessary. There is definitely something missing here.
Now, middle sister and youngest sister are taking rent out of OPs share of the money until OP moves out of dad’s house. But they are only giving her exact amounts for deposits, again, why would they do that?
Does OP have a history of gambling, drug addiction, giving money to scammers? Then the sisters are not necessarily wrong in looking out for OP and her kids.
The one comment that was there when I saw this suggested that OPs sisters were taking advantage of her and using her to get “rent” back into the “family money” pot and OP should get a lawyer. But, if sister got the money, wouldn’t OP have had to sign it over to her in the first place? How would a lawyer help?
This whole post has me confused... so many missing details. I can almost hear the sister’s side of the story being on JNoFAM as well.
Edit: OP says “I try not to make more than I need” that weirded me out. Is this possibly due to disability? Anyway

UK Mental Health Helplines:

ME CONNECT HELPLINE

https://meassociation.org.uk/information-and-support-line/
Got me/cfs fibro? Feel alone? Feel no one understands you? Not even Samaritans helps?
Volunteers at ME Association really do UNDERSTAND so call em:
We deal with each person individually, in a sensitive and professional manner. Every communication is kept completely confidential. ME Connect is staffed by a fully trained, and supervised, team of volunteers – most of whom have personal experience of M.E.

0344 576 5326

Available every day of the week between these times: 10am - 12noon, 2pm - 4pm and 7pm - 9pm.
Calls cost the same as other standard landline numbers (starting 01 or 02). If you have a call package for your landline or mobile phone then calls will normally come out of your inclusive minutes.

And on with...

... other valuable resources:

Mental health helplines:
Shout
Shout is the UK’s first 24/7 text service, free on all major mobile networks, for anyone in crisis anytime, anywhere. We can help with urgent issues such as: suicidal thoughts, abuse or assault, self-harm, bullying and relationship challenges
Text Shout to 85258
(https://www.giveusashout.org/)
Mental Health Matters
Helpline for people with mental health problems, their carers, families and friends. The Team can offer emotional guidance and information and help people who may be feeling low, anxious or stressed or in extreme emotional distress and feel that there is nowhere else to turn. Support is also provided to people caring for another person and finding it difficult to cope. The service is confidential unless it is considered there is a risk to yourself or others. Webchat available 24/7
Phone: click here to find the different numbers for the geographical areas covered Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Supportline
We offer confidential emotional support to children, young adults and adults by telephone, email and post. We work with callers to develop healthy, positive coping strategies, an inner feeling of strength and increased self esteem to encourage healing, recovery and moving forward with life.
Phone: 01708 765200 (hours variable - ring for details)
Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
The Silver Line
The Silver Line operates the only confidential, free helpline for older people across the UK that's open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days of the year. We also offer telephone friendship where we match volunteers with older people based on their interests, facilitated group calls, and help to connect people with local services in their area.
Phone: 0800 4 70 80 90 Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
(https://www.thesilverline.org.uk/)
Breathing Space
A confidential phoneline for anyone in Scotland over the age of 16, feeling low, anxious or depressed.
Phone: 0800 838587 (weekdays mon-thurs 6pm until 2am. Weekend Friday 6pm-Monday 6am)
(https://breathingspace.scot/)
C.A.L.L. Mental health helpline
Offers emotional support and information/literature on Mental Health and related matters to the people of Wales. Anyone concerned about their own mental health or that of a relative or friend can access the service. C.A.L.L. Helpline offers a confidential listening and support service.
Phone: 0800 132 737 or text help to 81066
(https://www.callhelpline.org.uk/)
Lifeline Helpline
Lifeline is the Northern Ireland crisis response helpline service for people who are experiencing distress or despair. No matter what your age or where you live in Northern Ireland, if you are or someone you know is in distress or despair, Lifeline is here to help.
Phone: 0808 808 8000 or 18001 0808 808 8000 for Deaf and hard of hearing Textphone users. (24 hours a day, seven days a week)
(https://www.lifelinehelpline.info/)
One parent families Scotland
The Lone Parent Helpline provides advice and support to single parents. Call us about anything from dealing with a break-up, sorting out child maintenance, understanding benefits, money when having a baby, studying or moving into work. We provide a free confidential friendly service that provides advice and supports your wellbeing whatever you are going through.
Phone: 0808 801 0323 (Monday to Friday 9.30am to 4pm)
Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
(https://opfs.org.uk/)
RABI Royal Agricultural Benevolent Institution
Time is a precious commodity, especially in farming. But it’s something our staff will happily give you.
When you call you’ll speak to a member of our dedicated welfare team. We understand that making that very first call – and talking about personal things with someone you don’t know – might sound daunting. However, it’s 100% confidential, so you’ll be free to discuss what’s on your mind without judgement. We won’t disclose any information to third parties without your explicit permission and calls are not recorded. We’ll do our very best to make you feel at ease, listening with courtesy, sympathy and respect.
Phone: 0808 281 9490 (9am-5pm weekdays) Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
(https://rabi.org.uk/)
The Drinks Trust:
We are the drinks industry community organisation, providing care and support to the people who form the drinks industry workforce, both past and present. The Trust provides individuals with services across vocational, well-being, financial and practical support. These services are intended to assist with and improve the circumstances of those who receive them
Phone: 0800 915 4610
Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Contact form - To be eligible, you must have worked for at least two years full-time or four years part-time in the UK drinks industry.
(https://www.drinkstrust.org.uk/)
Anxiety UK
Charity providing support if you've been diagnosed with an anxiety condition.
Phone: 03444 775 774 (Mon to Fri, 9.30am to 5.30pm)
(www.anxietyuk.org.uk)
Bipolar UK
A charity helping people living with manic depression or bipolar disorder.
Peer support line: Arrange a call back from our Peer Support Line. Book in a call with our chatbot- simply type in 'I would like to speak to someone' and select a date and time that works best for you.
Email us: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
(www.bipolaruk.org.uk)
Carers UK
We provide an expert telephone advice and support service. You can talk to us, no matter where you are in the UK or how complex your query is. We do benefits checks, and advise on financial and practical matters related to caring.
Phone: 0808 808 7777 (Mon-Fri 9am until 6pm)
Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Online forum: here
(https://www.carersuk.org/)
CALM
Our helpline is for people in the UK who are down or have hit a wall for any reason, who need to talk or find information and support.
Phone: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm to midnight - 365 days a year)
(www.thecalmzone.net)
Shelter
Shelter helps millions of people every year struggling with bad housing or homelessness through our advice, support, and legal services
England&Scotland phone number: 08088004444 (8am - 8pm on weekdays and 9am - 5pm weekends).
(https://www.shelter.org.uk/)
Wales phone number: 08000 495495 (9.30am – 4.00pm, Monday to Friday)
(https://sheltercymru.org.uk/)
For similar housing support in Ireland and NI: Ireland and Northern Ireland
Mind
Promotes the views and needs of people with mental health problems.
Phone: 0300 123 3393 (Mon to Fri, 9am to 6pm)
(www.mind.org.uk)
Mind Cymru: 0292-0395-123 (https://www.mind.org.uk/about-us/mind-cymru/)
No Panic
Voluntary charity offering support for sufferers of panic attacks and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Offers a course to help overcome your phobia/OCD. Includes a helpline.
Phone: 0844 967 4848 (daily, 10am to 10pm)
(www.nopanic.org.uk)
OCD Action
Support for people with OCD. Includes information on treatment and online resources.
Phone: 0845 390 6232 (Mon to Fri, 9.30am to 5pm)
(www.ocdaction.org.uk)
OCD UK
A charity run by people with OCD, for people with OCD. Includes facts, news and treatments.
Phone: 0845 120 3778 (Mon to Fri, 9am to 5pm)
(www.ocduk.org)
PAPYRUS
HOPELINEUK is a confidential support and advice service for children and young people under the age of 35 who are experiencing thoughts of suicide, or anyone concerned that a young person could be thinking about suicide.
Phone: HOPElineUK 0800 068 4141 (9:00 am to 12:00 am midnight every day including weekends & bank holidays)
Text: 07860 039 967
Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
(www.papyrus-uk.org)
Rethink Mental Illness
Support and advice for people living with mental illness.
Phone: 0300 5000 927 (Mon to Fri, 9.30am to 4pm)
(www.rethink.org)
Samaritans
Confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair.
Phone: 116 123 (free 24-hour helpline)
(www.samaritans.org.uk)
SANE
Emotional support, information and guidance for people affected by mental illness, their families and carers.
SANEline: 0300 304 7000 (daily, 4.30 to 10.30pm)
Textcare: comfort and care via text message, sent when the person needs it most: (http://www.sane.org.uk/textcare)
(www.sane.org.uk/supportforum)
(www.sane.org.uk/support)
YoungMinds
Information on child and adolescent mental health. Services for parents and professionals.
Phone: Parents' helpline 0808 802 5544 (Mon to Fri, 9.30am to 4pm)
(www.youngminds.org.uk)
Veterans Gateway
The first point of contact for veterans seeking support. We put veterans and their families in touch with the organisations best placed to help with the information, advice and support they need – from healthcare and housing to employability, finances, personal relationships and more.
Phone: 0808 802 1212 Text: 81212 Email: submit here Live chat: here
(https://www.veteransgateway.org.uk/)
First Person Plural
First Person Plural (FPP) specialises in working for and on behalf of all those affected by Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and similar complex trauma-related dissociative identity conditions. These similar conditions include type 1 Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (DDNOS), and a type of Other Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD) which is described as DID-like.
Phone: 01902810082 (if we do not pick up leave a message and we will contact you as soon as possible but this might not be for a few days as our office is not staffed everyday) Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) Twitter: u/DissociationFPP
LGBT+ helplines:
Switchboard LGBT
Switchboard provides a one-stop listening service for LGBT+ people on the phone, by email and through Instant Messaging.
Phone: 0300 330 0630 (10am-10pm every day)
Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
(https://switchboard.lgbt/)
MindlineTrans+
MindLine Trans+ is a confidential emotional, mental health support helpline for people who identify as Transgender, Agender, Gender Fluid, Non-binary..
Phone: 03003305468 (Mondays and Fridays from 8pm to midnight.)
Mermaids UK
Mermaids provides a helpline aimed at supporting transgender youth up to and including the age of 19, their families and professionals working with them.
Phone: 0808 801 0400 (Open Monday - Friday; 9am - 9pm)
Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
(https://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk)
Abuse helplines (child, sexual, domestic violence):
NSPCC
Children's charity dedicated to ending child abuse and child cruelty.
Phone: 0800 1111 for Childline for children (24-hour helpline)
0808 800 5000 for adults concerned about a child (24-hour helpline)
(www.nspcc.org.uk)
Refuge
Advice on dealing with domestic violence.
Phone: 0808 2000 247 (24-hour helpline)
(www.refuge.org.uk)
Women's Aid
Women’s Aid is the national charity working to end domestic abuse against women and children.
Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) Live chat: Our hours are Monday to Friday 10:00am - 4:00pm, Saturday and Sunday 10:00am-12:00pm. Here
Respect Men's advice line
The Men’s Advice Line is a confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse and those supporting them. We offer advice and emotional support to men who experience abuse, and signpost to other vital services that help keep them and their children safe.
Call: 0808 8010327 or visit: here
Respect phoneline
The Respect Phoneline is an anonymous and confidential helpline for men and women who are harming their partners and families. We provide specialist advice and guidance to help people change their behaviours and support for those working with domestic abuse perpetrators.
Call: 0808 8024040 or visit: here
National Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Trans+ Domestic Abuse Helpline:
Galop gives advice and support to people who have experienced biphobia, homophobia, transphobia, sexual violence or domestic abuse. We also support lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans and queer people who have had problems with the police or have questions about the criminal justice system
Galop is completely independent – we are a community-led group and we are not connected to police. You can talk to us anonymously if you choose
Phone: 0800 999 5428 (Monday to Friday 10:00am - 5:00pm. Wednesday to Thursday 10:00am - 8:00pm)
(http://www.galop.org.uk/domesticabuse/)
Honour based abuse/violence, forced marriage and/or female genital mutilation helplines
Freedom Charity
We aim to empower young people to feel they have the tools and confidence to support each other and have practical ways in which they can help their best friend around the issues of family relationships which can lead to early and forced marriage and dishonour based violence
(https://www.freedomcharity.org.uk/)
Phone: 0845 607 0133 ; or text "4freedom"to 88802 (24-hour helpline)
Halo Project
Halo Project Charity is a national project that will support victims of honour-based violence, forced marriages and FGM by providing appropriate advice and support to victims. We will also work with key partners to provide required interventions and advice necessary for the protection and safety of victims.
Phone: 01642 683 045 (9am-5pm)
(https://www.haloproject.org.uk/)
Karma Nirvana
Karma Nirvana is an award-winning National charity supporting victims of honour-based abuse and forced marriage. Honour crimes are not determined by age, faith, gender or sexuality, we support and work with all victims
Phone: 0800 5999 247 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5pm)
(https://karmanirvana.org.uk/)
Addiction helplines (drugs, alcohol, gambling):
Alcoholics Anonymous
Phone: 0845 769 7555 (24-hour helpline)
(www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk)
Gamblers Anonymous
Phone: 0330 094 0322
(www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk)
Narcotics Anonymous
Phone: 0300 999 1212 (daily 10am to midnight)
(www.ukna.org)
Drugfam
Support for families, friends and partners affected by someone else’s addiction to drugs or alcohol.
Phone: 0300 888 3853
(https://www.drugfam.co.uk/)
Al-Anon UK&Eire
We are here for anyone affected by someone else's drinking. Our Helpline is manned by a team of friendly and helpful volunteers who are also members of Al-Anon. They will listen and be happy to answer your questions
Phone: 0800 0086 811 (10am-10pm, 365 days a year)
Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Alzheimer's helpline:
Alzheimer's Society
Provides information on dementia, including factsheets and helplines.
Phone: 0300 222 1122 (Mon to Fri, 9am to 5pm. Weekends, 10am to 4pm)
(www.alzheimers.org.uk)
Bereavement helplines:
Cruse Bereavement Care
Phone: 0808 808 1677 (Mon to Fri, 9am to 5pm)
Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
CruseChat
(https://www.cruse.org.uk)
Blue Cross for pets
If you have lost, or are facing saying goodbye to, a much loved pet and need somebody to talk to, our Pet Bereavement Support Service is here for you every day from 8.30am – 8.30pm
Phone: 0800 096 6606
Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
The Compassionate Friends
The Compassionate Friends is a charitable organisation of bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents dedicated to the support and care of other similarly bereaved family members who have suffered the death of a child or children of any age and from any cause
Phone: 0345 120 3785 (9:30am - 4:30pm Mon to Fri)
Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide:
If you are 18+ and have been bereaved or affected by suicide and you would like to talk with one of our volunteers about your experience, you can get in touch in the following ways:
Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) and/or [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Helpline: open 9am to 9pm Monday to Sunday 0300 111 5065
You can also apply to join their online peer support forum here
(https://uksobs.org/)
Crime victims helplines:
Rape Crisis
To find your local services phone: 0808 802 9999 (daily, 12 to 2.30pm, 7 to 9.30pm)
(www.rapecrisis.org.uk)
Victim Support
Phone: 0808 168 9111 (24-hour helpline)
(www.victimsupport.org)
Eating disorders helpline:
Beat
Phone: 0808 801 0677 (adults) or 0808 801 0711 (for under-18s)
(www.b-eat.co.uk)
Learning disabilities helpline:
Mencap
Charity working with people with a learning disability, their families and carers.
Phone: 0808 808 1111 (Mon to Fri, 9am to 5pm)
(www.mencap.org.uk)
Parenting helpline:
Family Lives
Family Lives offers a confidential and free helpline service for families in England and Wales (previously known as Parentline). Please call us on 0808 800 2222 for emotional support, information, advice and guidance on any aspect of parenting and family life. Our helpline service is open 9am-9pm Monday to Friday and 10am-3pm Saturday and Sunday
Callers in Wales: If you would like to access this service in Welsh, find out how to request a call back here
Callers in Scotland: for callers from Scotland, Children 1st run Parentline Scotland and you may wish to contact them on 08000 28 22 33 Monday to Friday from 9am - 9pm.
Online chat: available 1:30pm-5:30pm every weekday excluding bank holidays here
Email: [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected])
Online forum: here
(https://www.familylives.org.uk/)
Relationships helpline:
Relate
The UK's largest provider of relationship support.
(www.relate.org.uk)

Hello,
So, to make the back story to this as short and sweet as possible, I grew up with a single mom in poverty. After I moved out, my mom had a heart issue that caused several severe strokes and brain bleeds. She was moved into a assisted living, then a senior apartment. She is surviving off of disability payments.
Now for the reason why I am posting. Recently, as an American, my mother and I both recieved the stimulus check of $600. She told me she was going to put it all towards bills. A few days later, she asked me to buy her something at the store because she was all out of money. It didn't click then, but just tonight I asked to see her phone, because I wanted to look at her emails. Thankfully she isn't very tech savvy, and didn't delete any emails. If she did, she barley deleted any. I saw that since the 28th of last month, when she got her payment, within 3 days she spent all of her remaining money on a casino app. Then, she got her $600, and a few days later, yet again, out of money. She is almost $700 negative in her account, and she has been trying to make purchases in app everyday since she blew it all, each time getting declined. In 1 day she spent over 300 dollars in game.
I did some research, changed her email password to something only I know, blocked all in app purchases (which side note, if she is smart enough it's super easy to change the password again wothout knowing the new password....thanks a lot Google for your supreme security. /s) I then brought it up to her and she got sad. I found a phone number to call National Counselon Problem Gambling. I will be calling that in the morning. I know they're open 24/7 but I am quite tired and want to head to sleep very soon. I am not sure how long that call may take.
My question for everyone dealing with or know someone dealing with this gambling addiction, what are some things I can try and look out for to help prevent future problems, or signs, or anything I may not realize?
She is disabled, so driving is not a thing. She doesn't know how to do phone betting on things like sports, or anything like that. Like I mentioned earlier, she is currently several hundred dollars negative in her account (why tf did her bank not decline after the 1st purchase that brought her negative, let alone the 2nd, or 3rd, etc? She only can buy up to $100 packages in app, so she didn't make a $700+ purchase in app. I have browsed all the recent Google Play receipts) so she cannot uber to a casino. The one thing I am a little worried about is suicide, which I am taking precautions on, but that's not this subreddits topic.
So, not to repeat myself too much, but what are things I should look out for? Behaviors, struggles, ways to help other than the Gambling hotline, etc. Any help is greatly appreciated!
Edit: I was so tired last night when posting this, didn't realize that the NSW was an Australian number. When I went to call it, it was 1 digit shorter than I am used to. Looking closer into the website, it seems to be only for Australians. We are Americans.

I’m really sorry that this is really long, but i really do hope someone reads through this fully. I feel alone in all of this, that’s why i’m posting this here, because i’m in desperate need of some unbiased opinions and/or advice. This isn’t something that’s just appeared randomly, this had been going on for years now and has been on my mind for way too long now, but with recent events, everything has just intensified.
I’m 16, and currently still live with both of my parents. My mom, who works as a manager, is our main source of income because my dad doesn’t work. We love pay check to pay check and I will explain further soon. I’m a mama’s boy, i’ve always been closer with her.
I have a little sister, she’s 9 now. Though her and i squabble and do the normal sibling antics, we know we have each other’s backs, despite the age difference. We moved into the place we live at now a while ago now, and at first it was nice. Nice and spacious, decent neighbourhood, etc etc. I’d say things started turning really sour when my dad decided to go back to school. Because we aren’t wealthy, he had to apply for loans, whatever to pay for school. With that and my mom working, i was left to do a lot. I got my sister ready for school, made her breakfast, lunch, did her laundry, walked her to school, then picked her up from school, watched her for however long, while running around doing other stuff that needed to be done (dishes, cleaning, etc). Then my parents would come home and then make dinner. Once again, i was left with the dishes, but i didn’t mind. I also took the garbage out whenever it was garbage day, did kitty litter, I didn’t get an allowance, we had tried, i got some of it, they said they would put half of it in the bank, but of course i never saw it. Eventually i stopped getting it at all, but it didn’t matter, there was food on my plate and a roof over my head. But, then my dad drops out. He just stops going. At this point he starts getting into bad habits (which i will explain later as well), and the messes that I’m forced to deal with at home grow and grow until they are out of hand. Too much for a kid my age to be doing alone. I needed help, but didn’t get it, well rarely, whenever my mom got motivated at home. When i say this mess was bad, i mean like; garbage on the floor, fast food containers/wrappers all over the place, flies infesting the place, etc. I should mention that the conditions stay this way for a solid 3-4 years. Living in all of that. I tried to clean it, with help from my mom, and we got it done. But then boom, in a couple of days of course it’s trashed again. We finally got the main floor all cleaned up, all the garbage out, but i find myself once again, doing dishes nobody has decided to do, garbage lying all of the place, the kitty litter box not tended to, and stuff just all over the place.
Now this part is about my dad. He’s a complicated man. He’s an asshole. A fucking asshole. I don’t even know where or how to start about him, but i have to. After he dropped out of school, he started buying random shit using my moms money and re selling it. At first he was making the slightest profit, but eventually it turned into him stealing money and loosing it all. He has a gambling addiction. Severe. He’s lost rent money, he’s stollen bonuses my mom has got, etc etc. He’s also a drug addict, i’m not sure if he is clean or not now, but i know he’s done shit. Going back to the buying and selling part, he hordes, he is a horde, and that is why our house is a mess. Because he brings in useless crap, which the pile grows and grows and then gets pissed whenever you try to throw it out. He has been absent. Very much so. He’s gone for days at a time, all night, all day. Sometimes seems like he only comes home to get food and take a dump. On Christmas, he left. On my birthday, he left. On my moms birthday, he left. On his birthday, he left. He’s selfish. He’s manipulative. He’s emotionally/verbally abusive. The things he has said to me, and my mother, are disgusting. I will only use one example and it explains all of those pretty well. He said to my mom that he had only half a year to live, he was lying about it. To get my mom to feel bad (they were in an argument which i will go into more depth in a bit). Now, he does have a disease, it’s called CTE, it’s a behavioural and memory effective disease, he claims he has it, whether he’s using that and weaponizing it to make everyone feel bad for him (wouldn’t put it past him) we will never know.
So, my mom and dad had a huge fight (once again not physical), where it ended up being the breaking point. My mom had finally called it quits between the two (they weren’t married, but were partners by law or whatever it’s called). My mom kicked him out, because all he would do is bring in more garbage, steal money, etc. At this point too, he was rarely if ever home. My mom was not doing very well, she would break down crying really easily. My mom had asked if he cheated, and he said that he had at least tried to because he wanted to feel something. He said he didn’t know if he loved her, or my sister, or me. That’s why she kicked him out. After that though, he then said that she made all that up (even though i have screenshots), and said she wanted out only because “he had a disability”. Like that justifies anything. He then said he would take everything, including my sister and I, that he would take back the house and kick her out. He would constantly berate my mom with messages each day, saying horrible things. Making her feel even more horrible. Saying things like “she never loved him”. Honestly there is so much more that happened, but that’s the jist of it.
Now onto him and I. He always made me feel like shit. He has said things to me that have made me think about ending it all. He’s hit me, he’s pulled me to the ground, kicked the shit out of me, etc. I dont fight back. I just go into shock. He doesn’t do it often but it does happen.
Now, today, he’s back in the house. My moms still feeling horrible, while he does whatever the fuck he wants to. Where i live, i’m able to leave the house and custody of my parents legally. I don’t feel safe, comfortable here, and everything is just converting back to how it was, a mess. I don’t think i can make it 2 more years. I can go stay with grandparents or my aunt and uncle, they have offered. Do i move out? What should i do? Please

Warning: just general ED stuff, nothing in particular
So, my mom died this past August from breast/pancreatic/liver cancer. My relationship with her was very distant, very strained, I loved her but she was gone most of my life. When she was around she had bipolaschizo-affective/depression mental health problems that weren't treated.
She was obese my whole life, would put down an entire cheese danish in one sitting or finish a pack of donuts in a day, went on rants how the government was poisoning us with chemicals in our food while pulling into a mcdonald's drive through to order a large big Mac meal. She drank cases of starbucks doubleshot energy drinks, not only when she was a truck driver but also after her heart attack and having to quit her job to be on SS/disability. She was also a gambling addict, spent all her free time in casinos, playing the lottery, staring at her laptop on online slots games.
She kept passing out in public, getting sent to the ER being blown off as being dehydrated, not even being put in a room because of COVID hitting the area hard she was in. Come to find out, she was in stage 3 cancer all along. She died alone in the hospital, nobody could come and see her in her last days. I think her body just gave up, so weary from the damage she did to it her whole life, a horrible diet, sedentary lifestyle, stress, smoking since the age of 7.
My ED intensified right after her death. Something in my brain is convincing me if I stay thin, eat as clean and as little as possible, exercise enough, I can avoid dying like her. I can avoid BEING like her. She was a miserable person to be around, always negative and suspicious of anything going on around her. She didn't make any effort to look good EVER my whole life. It really stunted my "feminine" side never having a female figure that could teach me how to dress, do my hair or make-up, give me stories about how to handle relationships.
Now turning 28 in a week, I have to do everything possible to be the opposite of her or else I will become her. I have 3 kids, and don't know how to be a good loving, supportive mom while also running from my troubled past with my own. I don't want them to end up like me, or see me like I did her.

Hi everyone,
I am starting to get extremely alarmed by the magnitude of students struggling with mental health issues this semester, whether it be stress, anxiety, lack of motivation, depression, substance use, feeling generally shitty, or anything else that could be caused or exacerbated by online school in a pandemic.
I don't think that the university does enough to advertise the mental health support it offers students, but there are resources available.
If you feel like you are struggling, even a little bit, please sit down and chat about it with someone. Family, friends, or any of the resources below. You are not alone. You are not weak for struggling. There are many many people struggling just as much as you. The Carleton discord server has tons of people who would be willing to hop on voice chat for a conversation about mental well-being, myself included. With the winter, cold weather, and exams approaching, stress and poor mental health is only going to get worse unless you get help.
Below is every resource I could find that the university offers for mental health (free). If you have anymore, please post a comment below and I will add it to the list. I think it is important to note that many of these services (see general resources) will totally be fine with you calling just for supportive human interaction. If you even think you may benefit from a chat, you should do it. Mental health doesn’t have to be an emergency to matter.
Mental health is serious. Poor mental health weakens the immune system (in a pandemic!!), shortens your lifespan, and makes you chronically ill. So does loneliness. It can escalate quickly. PLEASE act on it.
Mental Health Emergencies:
If you or someone you know is thinking of suicide – call 911 immediately.
If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call the Canada Suicide Prevention Service at 1-833-456-4566 (24/7) or text 45645 (4 pm to 12 am ET).
International Suicide Hotline Directory: http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html
Department of University Safety: (613) 520-4444 (or, dial 4444 from any university land-line) (on-campus only. CUSERT and Special Constables are trained in mental health first aid)
Good 2 Talk: 1-866-925-5454
Distress Centre of Ottawa and Region: Available 10am-11pm, 7 days/week, 365 days/year. Call: 613-238-3311 Text: 343-306-5550 Web Chat: blue chat icon at bottom right corner of website. Service is available in English only to residents of Ottawa & the Ottawa Region. Non-emergencies welcome as well.
University Crisis Line: 613-722-6914
Hope for Wellness
Call 1-855-242-3310 (toll-free) or connect to the online Hope for Wellness chat.
Available to all Indigenous peoples across Canada who need immediate crisis intervention. Experienced and culturally sensitive help line counsellors can help if you want to talk or are distressed. Telephone and online counselling are available in English and French. On request, telephone counselling is also available in Cree, Ojibway and Inuktitut.
General Resources:
Call Telehealth Ontario at 1-866-797-0000 (toll free) to speak to a registered nurse. The nurse can help you with any health matters, including depression, anxiety or other mental health or addiction concerns.
ConnexOntario provides treatment service information if you have problems with gambling, drugs, alcohol or mental health. You can:
Call toll free: 1-866-531-2600Live web chat Email
Health and Counselling Services: 613-520-6674 (for university clinic appointments)
"We offer short term individual counseling for students struggling with many different problems like anxiety, depression, relationship problems, sexual violence, or personal and academic stress. We have counsellors who specialize in issues impacting international students, those who have experienced sexual violence, and LGBTTQS2+ students."

Kids Help Phone
Call 1-800-668-6868 (toll-free) or text CONNECT to 686868.
Available 24 hours a day to Canadians aged 5 to 29 who want confidential and anonymous care from professional counsellors.
Download the Always There app for additional support or access the Kids Help Phone website.

BounceBack Ontario Toll-Free: 1-866-345-0224

BounceBack® is a free skill-building program managed by the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA). It is designed to help adults and youth 15+ manage low mood, mild to moderate depression and anxiety, stress or worry. Delivered over the phone with a coach and through online videos, you will get access to tools that will support you on your path to mental wellness.

Empower Me 1-833-628-5589

Empower Me is a confidential support service available 24/7, 365 days a year. No issue is too big or too small—regardless of what you’re experiencing, you’re not alone.
You can get support for issues of any kind, such as:
• Stress or anxiety• Depression• Relationships or interpersonal conflicts• Family responsibilities• Substance misuse/abuse• Disordered eating• Time management• Career counselling• Financial planning or financial insecurity• Nutrition, and more
• Call 1-833-628-5589 (toll-free), available 24/7 from anywhere in Canada or the US. See the FAQ (page 4) for additional helpline numbers for international access.
*Please note that you must provide your name and school/student association when you contact Empower Me for immediate crisis services or other issues.
Other General Resources
https://www.connexontario.ca/links

Suicide Prevention/Mental Health Resources
The Centre for Suicide Prevention is an education centre which equips individuals and organizations with the information, knowledge and skills necessary to respond to the risk of suicide.
Ontario Association of Suicide Prevention provides resources, education, facts and figures and news and upcoming events.
The Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention provides information on where to find support; including a guide for early responders and a prevention toolkit for schools. Their site also provides a listing of crisis centres.

Now it's been a controversy about the duel arena being a place to gamble, which it pretty much is. You literally are taking a gamble that you will win a stake. Also there are plenty of scammers at the duel arena which isn't a very healthy environment for anyone especially if you get scammed 1b+. I'm here to ask Jagex to not necessarily remove the duel arena, but to maybe make a option for people to perm disable the duel arena staking bit all together so they don't lose all of their money? you can say "Jagex isn't your baby sitter, you need to be responsible." well sadly there are people underage of 18 and are fed into this along with people of all ages. Staking is a plague in my opinion and a addiction that a lot of people *odablock* have and it needs to be dealt with better than jagex just not caring. Sure alot of people do end up making alot of money at the duel arena but that just means a lot of others lose at their expense. personally i had to make a iron man account to stop myself from constantly losing my bank because sometimes i would go from a 50m bank to a 7b bank *yes this happened to me* then turn around and get entirely cleaned on a 10+ lose streak. I would love to see their point of view on this matter in a more looked into view, rather than what they have said before is they aren't our baby sitters. Thanks for reading.

Here I will include a master post of UK mental health helplines/resources, feel free to message me directly if there is anything you would like me to add to this post or if you notice any contact or relevant information has changed since creating this. If you would like quick support on this site for legal or DWP related issues please consider checking out DWPhelp or LegalAdviceUK
If you live in England, you can refer yourself to an NHS psychological therapies service (IAPT).
If you would like to view some country-specific helplines&resources:

Mental health helplines:
Shout
Shout is the UK’s first 24/7 text service, free on all major mobile networks, for anyone in crisis anytime, anywhere. We can help with urgent issues such as: suicidal thoughts, abuse or assault, self-harm, bullying and relationship challenges
Text Shout to 85258
(https://www.giveusashout.org/)
Mental Health Matters
Helpline for people with mental health problems, their carers, families and friends. The Team can offer emotional guidance and information and help people who may be feeling low, anxious or stressed or in extreme emotional distress and feel that there is nowhere else to turn. Support is also provided to people caring for another person and finding it difficult to cope. The service is confidential unless it is considered there is a risk to yourself or others. Webchat available 24/7
Phone: click here to find the different numbers for the geographical areas covered Email: [email protected]
Supportline
We offer confidential emotional support to children, young adults and adults by telephone, email and post. We work with callers to develop healthy, positive coping strategies, an inner feeling of strength and increased self esteem to encourage healing, recovery and moving forward with life.
Phone: 01708 765200 (hours variable - ring for details)
Email: [email protected]
The Silver Line
The Silver Line operates the only confidential, free helpline for older people across the UK that's open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days of the year. We also offer telephone friendship where we match volunteers with older people based on their interests, facilitated group calls, and help to connect people with local services in their area.
Phone: 0800 4 70 80 90 Email: [email protected]
(https://www.thesilverline.org.uk/)
Breathing Space
A confidential phoneline for anyone in Scotland over the age of 16, feeling low, anxious or depressed.
Phone: 0800 838587 (weekdays mon-thurs 6pm until 2am. Weekend Friday 6pm-Monday 6am)
(https://breathingspace.scot/)
C.A.L.L. Mental health helpline
Offers emotional support and information/literature on Mental Health and related matters to the people of Wales. Anyone concerned about their own mental health or that of a relative or friend can access the service. C.A.L.L. Helpline offers a confidential listening and support service.
Phone: 0800 132 737 or text help to 81066
(https://www.callhelpline.org.uk/)
Lifeline Helpline
Lifeline is the Northern Ireland crisis response helpline service for people who are experiencing distress or despair. No matter what your age or where you live in Northern Ireland, if you are or someone you know is in distress or despair, Lifeline is here to help.
Phone: 0808 808 8000 or 18001 0808 808 8000 for Deaf and hard of hearing Textphone users. (24 hours a day, seven days a week)
(https://www.lifelinehelpline.info/)
One parent families Scotland
The Lone Parent Helpline provides advice and support to single parents. Call us about anything from dealing with a break-up, sorting out child maintenance, understanding benefits, money when having a baby, studying or moving into work. We provide a free confidential friendly service that provides advice and supports your wellbeing whatever you are going through.
Phone: 0808 801 0323 (Monday to Friday 9.30am to 4pm)
Email: [email protected]
(https://opfs.org.uk/)
RABI Royal Agricultural Benevolent Institution
Time is a precious commodity, especially in farming. But it’s something our staff will happily give you.
When you call you’ll speak to a member of our dedicated welfare team. We understand that making that very first call – and talking about personal things with someone you don’t know – might sound daunting. However, it’s 100% confidential, so you’ll be free to discuss what’s on your mind without judgement. We won’t disclose any information to third parties without your explicit permission and calls are not recorded. We’ll do our very best to make you feel at ease, listening with courtesy, sympathy and respect.
Phone: 0808 281 9490 (9am-5pm weekdays) Email: [email protected]
(https://rabi.org.uk/)
The Drinks Trust:
We are the drinks industry community organisation, providing care and support to the people who form the drinks industry workforce, both past and present. The Trust provides individuals with services across vocational, well-being, financial and practical support. These services are intended to assist with and improve the circumstances of those who receive them
Phone: 0800 915 4610
Email: [email protected]
Contact form - To be eligible, you must have worked for at least two years full-time or four years part-time in the UK drinks industry.
(https://www.drinkstrust.org.uk/)
Anxiety UK
Charity providing support if you've been diagnosed with an anxiety condition.
Phone: 03444 775 774 (Mon to Fri, 9.30am to 5.30pm)
(www.anxietyuk.org.uk)
Bipolar UK
A charity helping people living with manic depression or bipolar disorder.
Peer support line: Arrange a call back from our Peer Support Line. Book in a call with our chatbot- simply type in 'I would like to speak to someone' and select a date and time that works best for you.
Email us: [email protected]
(www.bipolaruk.org.uk)
Carers UK
We provide an expert telephone advice and support service. You can talk to us, no matter where you are in the UK or how complex your query is. We do benefits checks, and advise on financial and practical matters related to caring.
Phone: 0808 808 7777 (Mon-Fri 9am until 6pm)
Email: [email protected]
Online forum: here
(https://www.carersuk.org/)
CALM
Our helpline is for people in the UK who are down or have hit a wall for any reason, who need to talk or find information and support.
Phone: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm to midnight - 365 days a year)
(www.thecalmzone.net)
Shelter
Shelter helps millions of people every year struggling with bad housing or homelessness through our advice, support, and legal services
England&Scotland phone number: 08088004444 (8am - 8pm on weekdays and 9am - 5pm weekends).
(https://www.shelter.org.uk/)
Wales phone number: 08000 495495 (9.30am – 4.00pm, Monday to Friday)
(https://sheltercymru.org.uk/)
For similar housing support in Ireland and NI: Ireland and Northern Ireland
Mind
Promotes the views and needs of people with mental health problems.
Phone: 0300 123 3393 (Mon to Fri, 9am to 6pm)
(www.mind.org.uk)
Mind Cymru: 0292-0395-123 (https://www.mind.org.uk/about-us/mind-cymru/)
No Panic
Voluntary charity offering support for sufferers of panic attacks and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Offers a course to help overcome your phobia/OCD. Includes a helpline.
Phone: 0844 967 4848 (daily, 10am to 10pm)
(www.nopanic.org.uk)
OCD Action
Support for people with OCD. Includes information on treatment and online resources.
Phone: 0845 390 6232 (Mon to Fri, 9.30am to 5pm)
(www.ocdaction.org.uk)
OCD UK
A charity run by people with OCD, for people with OCD. Includes facts, news and treatments.
Phone: 0845 120 3778 (Mon to Fri, 9am to 5pm)
(www.ocduk.org)
PAPYRUS
HOPELINEUK is a confidential support and advice service for children and young people under the age of 35 who are experiencing thoughts of suicide, or anyone concerned that a young person could be thinking about suicide.
Phone: HOPElineUK 0800 068 4141 (9:00 am to 12:00 am midnight)
Text: 07860 039 967
Email: [email protected]
(www.papyrus-uk.org)
Rethink Mental Illness
Support and advice for people living with mental illness.
Phone: 0300 5000 927 (Mon to Fri, 9.30am to 4pm)
(www.rethink.org)
Samaritans
Confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair.
Phone: 116 123 (free 24-hour helpline)
(www.samaritans.org.uk)
SANE
Emotional support, information and guidance for people affected by mental illness, their families and carers.
SANEline: 0300 304 7000 (daily, 4.30 to 10.30pm)
Textcare: comfort and care via text message, sent when the person needs it most: (http://www.sane.org.uk/textcare)
(www.sane.org.uk/supportforum)
(www.sane.org.uk/support)
YoungMinds
Information on child and adolescent mental health. Services for parents and professionals.
Phone: Parents' helpline 0808 802 5544 (Mon to Fri, 9.30am to 4pm)
(www.youngminds.org.uk)
Veterans Gateway
The first point of contact for veterans seeking support. We put veterans and their families in touch with the organisations best placed to help with the information, advice and support they need – from healthcare and housing to employability, finances, personal relationships and more.
Phone: 0808 802 1212 Text: 81212 Email: submit here Live chat: here
(https://www.veteransgateway.org.uk/)
First Person Plural
First Person Plural (FPP) specialises in working for and on behalf of all those affected by Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and similar complex trauma-related dissociative identity conditions. These similar conditions include type 1 Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (DDNOS), and a type of Other Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD) which is described as DID-like.
Phone: 01902810082 (if we do not pick up leave a message and we will contact you as soon as possible but this might not be for a few days as our office is not staffed everyday) Email: [email protected] Twitter: @DissociationFPP
LGBT+ helplines:
Switchboard LGBT
Switchboard provides a one-stop listening service for LGBT+ people on the phone, by email and through Instant Messaging.
Phone: 03003300630 (Open 10:00-22:00 every day)
Email: [email protected]
MindlineTrans+
MindLine Trans+ is a confidential emotional, mental health support helpline for people who identify as Transgender, Agender, Gender Fluid, Non-binary..
Phone: 03003305468 (Mondays and Fridays from 8pm to midnight.)
Mermaids UK
Mermaids provides a helpline aimed at supporting transgender youth up to and including the age of 19, their families and professionals working with them.
Phone: 0808 801 0400 (Open Monday - Friday; 9am - 9pm)
Email: [email protected]
(https://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk)
Abuse helplines (child, sexual, domestic violence):
NSPCC
Children's charity dedicated to ending child abuse and child cruelty.
Phone: 0800 1111 for Childline for children (24-hour helpline)
0808 800 5000 for adults concerned about a child (24-hour helpline)
(www.nspcc.org.uk)
Refuge
Advice on dealing with domestic violence.
Phone: 0808 2000 247 (24-hour helpline)
(www.refuge.org.uk)
Women's Aid
Women’s Aid is the national charity working to end domestic abuse against women and children.
Email: [email protected] Live chat: Our hours are Monday to Friday 10:00am - 4:00pm, Saturday and Sunday 10:00am-12:00pm. Here
Respect Men's advice line
The Men’s Advice Line is a confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse and those supporting them. We offer advice and emotional support to men who experience abuse, and signpost to other vital services that help keep them and their children safe.
Call: 0808 8010327 or visit: here
Respect phoneline
The Respect Phoneline is an anonymous and confidential helpline for men and women who are harming their partners and families. We provide specialist advice and guidance to help people change their behaviours and support for those working with domestic abuse perpetrators.
Call: 0808 8024040 or visit: here
Honour based abuse/violence, forced marriage and/or female genital mutilation helplines
Freedom Charity
We aim to empower young people to feel they have the tools and confidence to support each other and have practical ways in which they can help their best friend around the issues of family relationships which can lead to early and forced marriage and dishonour based violence
(https://www.freedomcharity.org.uk/)
Phone: 0845 607 0133 ; or text "4freedom"to 88802 (24-hour helpline)
Halo Project
Halo Project Charity is a national project that will support victims of honour-based violence, forced marriages and FGM by providing appropriate advice and support to victims. We will also work with key partners to provide required interventions and advice necessary for the protection and safety of victims.
Phone: 01642 683 045 (9am-5pm)
(https://www.haloproject.org.uk/)
Karma Nirvana
Karma Nirvana is an award-winning National charity supporting victims of honour-based abuse and forced marriage. Honour crimes are not determined by age, faith, gender or sexuality, we support and work with all victims
Phone: 0800 5999 247 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5pm)
(https://karmanirvana.org.uk/)
Addiction helplines (drugs, alcohol, gambling):
Alcoholics Anonymous
Phone: 0845 769 7555 (24-hour helpline)
(www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk)
Gamblers Anonymous
Phone: 0330 094 0322
(www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk)
Narcotics Anonymous
Phone: 0300 999 1212 (daily 10am to midnight)
(www.ukna.org)
Drugfam
Support for families, friends and partners affected by someone else’s addiction to drugs or alcohol.
Phone: 0300 888 3853
(https://www.drugfam.co.uk/)
Al-Anon UK&Eire
We are here for anyone affected by someone else's drinking. Our Helpline is manned by a team of friendly and helpful volunteers who are also members of Al-Anon. They will listen and be happy to answer your questions
Phone: 0800 0086 811 (10am-10pm, 365 days a year)
Email: [email protected]
Alzheimer's helpline:
Alzheimer's Society
Provides information on dementia, including factsheets and helplines.
Phone: 0300 222 1122 (Mon to Fri, 9am to 5pm. Weekends, 10am to 4pm)
(www.alzheimers.org.uk)
Bereavement helplines:
Cruse Bereavement Care
Phone: 0808 808 1677 (Mon to Fri, 9am to 5pm)
Email: [email protected]
CruseChat
(https://www.cruse.org.uk)
Blue Cross for pets
If you have lost, or are facing saying goodbye to, a much loved pet and need somebody to talk to, our Pet Bereavement Support Service is here for you every day from 8.30am – 8.30pm
Phone: 0800 096 6606
Email: [email protected]
The Compassionate Friends
The Compassionate Friends is a charitable organisation of bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents dedicated to the support and care of other similarly bereaved family members who have suffered the death of a child or children of any age and from any cause
Phone: 0345 120 3785 (9:30am - 4:30pm Mon to Fri)
Email: [email protected]
Crime victims helplines:
Rape Crisis
To find your local services phone: 0808 802 9999 (daily, 12 to 2.30pm, 7 to 9.30pm)
(www.rapecrisis.org.uk)
Victim Support
Phone: 0808 168 9111 (24-hour helpline)
(www.victimsupport.org)
Eating disorders helpline:
Beat
Phone: 0808 801 0677 (adults) or 0808 801 0711 (for under-18s)
(www.b-eat.co.uk)
Learning disabilities helpline:
Mencap
Charity working with people with a learning disability, their families and carers.
Phone: 0808 808 1111 (Mon to Fri, 9am to 5pm)
(www.mencap.org.uk)
Parenting helpline:
Family Lives
Family Lives offers a confidential and free helpline service for families in England and Wales (previously known as Parentline). Please call us on 0808 800 2222 for emotional support, information, advice and guidance on any aspect of parenting and family life. Our helpline service is open 9am-9pm Monday to Friday and 10am-3pm Saturday and Sunday
Callers in Wales: If you would like to access this service in Welsh, find out how to request a call back here
Callers in Scotland: for callers from Scotland, Children 1st run Parentline Scotland and you may wish to contact them on 08000 28 22 33 Monday to Friday from 9am - 9pm.
Online chat: available 1:30pm-5:30pm every weekday excluding bank holidays here
Email: [email protected]
Online forum: here
(https://www.familylives.org.uk/)
Relationships helpline:
Relate
The UK's largest provider of relationship support.
(www.relate.org.uk)
Mental health resources:

TRIGGER WARNING: homophobia, transphobia, abuse, threat of animal death
Okay, this story has been a long time in the making so here we go.
Technically, the MIL in question isn't my mother in law since my SO and I aren't married yet, but our relationship is very serious so I always see that family as my in laws. Important background: my partner and I are fairly young. I'm 24F and he is 23 and trans masculine. He's known about his gender identity for a while, but his family is composed of very strict Polish Catholics, so he's been in the closet for quite some time. Important to note though, he still presents very masc. I have no idea how they never guessed. But I'll get to that later. This is going to be a long story.
My partner and I met a little over 2 years ago. Back when we were just becoming friends, he was afraid of introducing me to his family because they're super judgmental and are known for hating all of his friends. It doesn't exactly help that I've been into the Goth subculture since I was a young teen and I am well aware that my appearance can be off-putting despite being one of those people who could never hurt a fly. Regardless, I went to his house the first time and it went amazing. I sat down and talked with his mother for a while as he finished getting ready and we really hit it off. My partner was amazed that his mother seemed to like me so much. Honestly, it was a huge relief. Things were going great.
We start dating a few months later (actually, our 2nd anniversary is coming up). He was a bit weary about dating me because his parents are so Catholic and very homophobic. He was not out to them at the time and was afraid of coming out. For a while, we dated in secret and we made it work. His family still loved me and loved having me over. It was kind of crazy how much we got away with. Once the summer came, I was sleeping over at his house nearly every night. Unfortunately, it seems that was the last straw and his mother forced him to come out to her when she asked about our relationship.
It was... strange. She was upset, but she didn't seem to take it too badly. We were still tense, but kind of relieved at the same time. But I wouldn't be making this post if that was the worst of it. That was when the abuse started.
My partner and I really wanted to live together, but we didn't want to leave either of our families out of the picture, so we decided to spend a few weeks at one house and then a few weeks at the other. We made sure with both households that this was okay and no one had a problem with it. It worked great for a while. If anything, we preferred staying at his house because they had a more comfortable spot for us to live in (they had a guest suite in the basement that we stayed in). However, his mom is incredibly unstable to say in the least. One second she loved me and was drinking a glass of wine with me, and the next second she'd go off on some wild rampage after the tiniest thing set her off.
Things escalated until the fall. My partner and I had planned on going on a date to a pumpkin patch for months and we were really looking forward to it. At the last second, his mother decided that we couldn't go because we had to watch his younger sibling (who is 11) because SHE decided at the last second to do something else that day. We stood our ground about it and she threw a fit. She started yelling and screaming and crying because "how dare we do this to her" even though she already knew about our plans at least a week ahead of time. She even went as far to tell my partner's younger sibling that we didn't care about her.
We went on the date because thankfully his other sister's boyfriend offered to babysit instead, so the problem was solved. But MIL did not want to let it go. She gave us the silent treatment for at least a week, stomping past us at any chance she got without a single word. We soon left after that to stay with my dad for a while. We obviously needed a break. But MIL never wanted to let things go. She was under the impression that I was forcing my partner away from the family and she kept (literally) backing him into a corner and questioning him about it, but she would never believe his answer.
She asked about what we were doing for the holidays, and we discussed that we wanted to spend time with both families. She seemed okay with it at the time. It had been a few days and she apparently calmed down again. My partner's aunt and uncle were going to be coming over for the holidays, and honestly they are even worse people. Imagine: the most homophobic, antivaxx people possible. My MIL knew we wouldn't want to be around them, so she gave the go ahead to leave after an early Thanksgiving meal to spend time with my family. She even gave us advice to pack our cars ahead of time so we would avoid drama with the rest of the family while we left. I really wish that was how it went down.
The relatives got there and no one spoke to us. We got our food, sat down next to each other, and you could slice the tension in the room with a knife. His aunt and uncle kept asking about his sister's boyfriend, but they never learned my name. Meanwhile, my MIL's mother (who speaks no English) stared me down the entire time she was eating. It was awful. We left as soon as we finished eating.
The next morning my partner wakes up to a text from his mom. It was something along the lines of: "Thanks for the show. I had to explain lesbian rights the whole time after you left. Next time you come home, don't bring [me] with you."
So just like that, I wasn't allowed back. Simply because we were not a cis/straight couple. Apparently they were under the impression that we were kissing at the table (which... is not something we'd ever do in front of people). She wouldn't listen to our reasoning at all. Instead, she kept on insisting that she speak with my partner alone. Obviously he refused. He didn't want to become trapped and cornered and abused for his relationship and he also believed that I should be apart of any conversation because it involved me. We did our best to estrange ourselves, but it was difficult. From then on, we just stayed with my dad. She kept sending him horrible texts and calling him. It's like no matter how hard we tried, she wouldn't leave us alone. She just wanted to cause more and more problems.
After a while, he gave in and went to "talk" to her at his house. We were scared for his safety, honestly. Neither of us wanted him to go alone because we really feared for the worse. So we decided that I would come with him and wait in the car as support/back up if he needed help. I'm not going to lie to you, that was the longest wait of my life. I even brought the Bible to read for some level of comfort.
Apparently, my MIL tried acting like nothing was wrong. They barely talked. But that's when the grandma saw me in the car reading. Yeah, they didn't like that. I wasn't even interfering. I was just sitting alone in the car. MIL started screaming and crying again, saying that he "lied" to her and threw him out yet again. Thankfully, that was the last incident for a while. But... we did kind of a stupid thing.
Over the summer, quarantining was not treating us well. My dad and I generally have a good relationship but there were some parts of a rocky past before. I'm not going to get into it, but it was traumatic. Long story short, some of his actions were starting to bring back some of that trauma and we couldn't take it anymore. We started to consider our options. My partner's family had actually started being nice to us again. They seemed to have a fresh perspective and even started inviting me back as well (which was shocking because they always insisted on my partner coming without me). We decided to give them a second chance. Yeah, I know. Big mistake. But we wanted to be good people. It was still his family after all. We at least wanted to try.
We ended up getting his mother's permission to move back in. We were living with my father for so long that we thought we could stay there for a while until we were ready to move out. We're very serious about getting a house together and we had just gotten decent jobs in our fields. It really seemed like a dream come true. MIL finally respected me and our relationship and we were going to be staying in a much more comfortable environment. Like I said, their living space was much nicer than the one we had at my dad's house.
Things were great for a while! But of course, things started to escalate again. God, it's such a blur. I don't even remember most of what happened. Things were getting worse. MIL kept insisting that we were wasting resources, particularly water. We literally had to resort to taking dry showers where we'd literally only have the water on to wet ourselves and then rinse off at the end. That still wasn't enough for her. She would yell every time we would do so much as wash our clothing or wash the dishes. Everyone else in the family could take hour long showers, run the washing machine/dish washer several times a day, but not us. Ultimately the family decided that if we were going to stay with them, we would have to pay them rent. And not just a small fee, either. They'd be taking about half of my partner's paychecks.
Now, here's the thing. Normally getting asked for rent money isn't the worst thing in the world. But his family is notoriously bad with money. His dad is skeevy as all hell and his mom has a serious Amazon addiction. They make more than enough money to live comfortably, and it was obvious they just wanted our money to line their pockets for things like gambling and excess shopping. We refused. Why would we pay to live in an increasingly abusive environment? It would be better just to move back in with my dad where we could live rent free. They didn't like that. Suddenly I was an evil witch stealing my partner away again, even though the decision was mutual. (Side note: They literally thought I was an evil witch at that point. My MIL actually confronted my partner about it before. She thought I had put a curse on him and that's why he was with me. So yeah, I turned him gay and trans.)
As it turns out, they invited us back to live with them just so that they could charge us rent. That was the only reason they were happy to have us back in their lives and the only reason they celebrated our jobs. Now that we wouldn't pay money, we were dead to them. MIL told us to move out that weekend. We didn't complain because we wanted to get the hell out of there as soon as possible.
Move out day came. This is probably the worst part of the story.
We invited my father and also two of our friends over to help us move. One of our friends is particularly big and intimidating looking, and it's sad to say that we invited him just so that we would have a decent body guard if we needed it.
The start wasn't so bad. We got most of our things and took it easy and we managed to take one trip to my house to drop of some things before we went back for round two.
My partner and I have a fish and a baby tarantula. The first thing I did was pack the animals away so that we could easily pick them up right before we were ready to go. We didn't want them sitting in the car or anything for obvious reasons. After that, all we had left to do was disassemble some furniture in his bedroom. That's when MIL felt the need to instigate. It was really obvious she was looking for a fight, because she stood in the doorway and kept nagging us about really inconsequential things. I called her out on it. What did I have to lose? I was already being kicked out. She started berating me in front of my father and obviously he jumped in to defend me. She started to get really transphobic at this point, basically refusing the fact that my partner is male because it's not "legal" yet and continuing to blatantly misgender him. He was getting uncomfortable, so I thought that I'd let our friends finish up and I'd remove him from the situation.
I picked up a small cabinet and tried to lead him out, but she physically pushed me back. I'm disabled and I have some trouble with my legs, so it's lucky I didn't fall. She refused to let me out of the room. I was trapped. I looked over at our "bodyguard" friend and asked him to get me out of the room. She allowed me to exit the room, but that's when she started screaming even more and physically pushed us out of the house and slammed the door on our faces.
That's when I realized: our animals are still in the house.
I think she heard me say it because that's when she told us she was going to flush our fish down the toilet. I start to panic. We love our animals with all of our heart. My partner sprung into action. The scene was so unbelievable it felt like I was watching a movie. He ran for the back porch which they didn't think to lock and entered the house. This created a diversion. Remember my partner's 11 year old sister? We gave her a sign and she was the one who let us in the house while the adults were distracted. My dad and my friends rushed in to rescue the animals while I held that little girl like my life depended on it. I know I didn't mention it much before, but I really treated this kid like my own daughter. I wouldn't wish that moment on anyone. MIL caught us embracing and physically ripped her out of my arms and slammed the door in my face again.
Thankfully, my dad and my friends came out with the pets in hand. But my partner was nowhere to be seen. He was still trapped in the house. He never talked about it much. From what he said, she wouldn't stop screaming at him and even tried to hit him (thankfully he restrained her and she backed off). Ultimately he was left free and we drove silently home. Some of our things were still in the house but at this point we were just thankful that us and the animals were alive.
We just... never thought it would be THAT bad.
We've seen been estranged from the family. My partner has been rebuilding. We've been happier here. But we have one last connection.
My partner is still driving a car that is in MIL's name and we're terrified she'll take it away from him. He has a car lined up for him at a dealership, but he's been unable to buy the car because although our homes were close, they were across state lines and my partner had to change his state residence. He can't get the car until he can get a license in this state, and his MIL has the birth certificate. We tried contacting her yesterday about it. Obviously we are not welcome back there nor do we ever want to be, so he asked if she could bring the document outside once we got there so that he could pick it up without contact. There's also word that his grandma got hospitalized due to COVID, so we really don't want to interact. But no, she refuses to give him the document unless he comes inside the house and gets it himself. Based on previous experiences, we know that coming in the house is dangerous and neither of us wants him to go through that, especially since the family is "sick" (clearly because of COVID, but she didn't want to specify). It feels like no matter what, she refuses to let us go! I don't know why she just keeps wanting us to come back just to cause everyone more stress. I mean, she's ultimately hurting herself more than anything and she still won't stop.
So yeah. That's where we are right now. MIL keeps trying to lure my partner back in because she just likes to cause problems, I guess. Even if it puts him as risk for contracting COVID. We really don't know what to do. He really needs that car and we don't have the time to get a new birth certificate. We're just at our wits end with these people! We just want to be done with it and we don't want to interact with them anymore. At least the car will be the last of it.... Then he can block them and completely be estranged. If he doesn't block them, especially his mother, they will just keep trying to lure us back so they can abuse us more.
Sorry for such a long story. There's so many more details to this, but this is the bulk of it. It's been a year of trauma and I just needed to get it out there. It's been a few months and we're still honestly trying to cope. Hope you all have a much better new year!

TL;DR:
MIL is abusive and keeps trying to trap us in the house despite physically pushing us out before and threatening to kill our pets. Now we have no access to legal documents and some of our belongings.

Please Blizzard hear my request. I'm a 13 year old boy who has once again spent money I can't afford on packs and bundles in hearthstone.
I know that this is your game to monetize as you wish, and that it's my decision whether or not to spend money on it. However I also know that I am weak, and every time an awesome new legendary is released, I'm tempted to buy a bunch of packs for the off chance of getting it and building a deck around it.
My request is simple: Ban me from the hearthstone real-money store. Other games like path of exile have done this for players who recognise they have a problem https://massivelyop.com/2018/12/26/gambling-addict-successfully-petitions-path-of-exile-to-disable-lockboxes/.
All I ask is that you show the same compassion. Please Blizzard, I have no money to buy other games, go to the cinema with my friends or buy my family birthday presents. Help a guy out here.
P.S. My Uncle helped with the wording of this so I could express my thoughts better for you guys, but the thoughts are all mine, and I'm truly sincere.

Here I will include a master post of UK mental health helplines/resources, feel free to message me directly if there is anything you would like me to add to this post.
Mental health helplines:
Shout
Shout is the UK’s first 24/7 text service, free on all major mobile networks, for anyone in crisis anytime, anywhere. We can help with urgent issues such as: suicidal thoughts, abuse or assault, self-harm, bullying and relationship challenges
Text Shout to 85258
(https://www.giveusashout.org/)
Mental Health Matters
Helpline for people with mental health problems, their carers, families and friends. The Team can offer emotional guidance and information and help people who may be feeling low, anxious or stressed or in extreme emotional distress and feel that there is nowhere else to turn. Support is also provided to people caring for another person and finding it difficult to cope. The service is confidential unless it is considered there is a risk to yourself or others. Webchat available 24/7
Phone: click here to find the different numbers for the geographical areas covered Email: [email protected]
Supportline
We offer confidential emotional support to children, young adults and adults by telephone, email and post. We work with callers to develop healthy, positive coping strategies, an inner feeling of strength and increased self esteem to encourage healing, recovery and moving forward with life.
Phone: 01708 765200 (hours variable - ring for details)
Email: [email protected]
The Silver Line
The Silver Line operates the only confidential, free helpline for older people across the UK that's open 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days of the year. We also offer telephone friendship where we match volunteers with older people based on their interests, facilitated group calls, and help to connect people with local services in their area.
Phone: 0800 4 70 80 90
Email: [email protected]
Breathing Space
A confidential phoneline for anyone in Scotland over the age of 16, feeling low, anxious or depressed.
Phone: 0800 838587 (weekdays mon-thurs 6pm until 2am. Weekend Friday 6pm-Monday 6am)
(https://breathingspace.scot/)
C.A.L.L. Mental health helpline
Offers emotional support and information/literature on Mental Health and related matters to the people of Wales. Anyone concerned about their own mental health or that of a relative or friend can access the service. C.A.L.L. Helpline offers a confidential listening and support service.
Phone: 0800 132 737 or text help to 81066
(https://www.callhelpline.org.uk/)
Anxiety UK
Charity providing support if you've been diagnosed with an anxiety condition.
Phone: 03444 775 774 (Mon to Fri, 9.30am to 5.30pm)
(www.anxietyuk.org.uk)
Bipolar UK
A charity helping people living with manic depression or bipolar disorder.
Peer support line: Arrange a call back from our Peer Support Line. Book in a call with our chatbot- simply type in 'I would like to speak to someone' and select a date and time that works best for you.
Email us: [email protected]
(www.bipolaruk.org.uk)
Carers UK
We provide an expert telephone advice and support service. You can talk to us, no matter where you are in the UK or how complex your query is. We do benefits checks, and advise on financial and practical matters related to caring.
Phone: 0808 808 7777 (Mon-Fri 9am until 6pm)
Email: [email protected]
Online forum: here
(https://www.carersuk.org/)
Shelter
Shelter helps millions of people every year struggling with bad housing or homelessness through our advice, support, and legal services
England&Scotland phone number: 08088004444 (8am - 8pm on weekdays and 9am - 5pm weekends).
(https://www.shelter.org.uk/)
Wales phone number: 08000 495495 (9.30am – 4.00pm, Monday to Friday)
(https://sheltercymru.org.uk/)
For similar housing support in Ireland and NI: Ireland and Northern Ireland
CALM
CALM is the Campaign Against Living Miserably, for men aged 15 to 35.
Phone: 0800 58 58 58 (daily, 5pm to midnight)
(www.thecalmzone.net)
Mind
Promotes the views and needs of people with mental health problems.
Phone: 0300 123 3393 (Mon to Fri, 9am to 6pm)
(www.mind.org.uk)
No Panic
Voluntary charity offering support for sufferers of panic attacks and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). Offers a course to help overcome your phobia/OCD. Includes a helpline.
Phone: 0844 967 4848 (daily, 10am to 10pm)
(www.nopanic.org.uk)
OCD Action
Support for people with OCD. Includes information on treatment and online resources.
Phone: 0845 390 6232 (Mon to Fri, 9.30am to 5pm)
(www.ocdaction.org.uk)
OCD UK
A charity run by people with OCD, for people with OCD. Includes facts, news and treatments.
Phone: 0845 120 3778 (Mon to Fri, 9am to 5pm)
(www.ocduk.org)
PAPYRUS
Young suicide prevention society.
Phone: HOPElineUK 0800 068 4141 (Mon to Fri,10am to 5pm & 7 to 10pm. Weekends 2 to 5pm)
(www.papyrus-uk.org)
Rethink Mental Illness
Support and advice for people living with mental illness.
Phone: 0300 5000 927 (Mon to Fri, 9.30am to 4pm)
(www.rethink.org)
Samaritans
Confidential support for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair.
Phone: 116 123 (free 24-hour helpline)
(www.samaritans.org.uk)
SANE
Emotional support, information and guidance for people affected by mental illness, their families and carers.
SANEline: 0300 304 7000 (daily, 4.30 to 10.30pm)
Textcare: comfort and care via text message, sent when the person needs it most: (http://www.sane.org.uk/textcare)
(www.sane.org.uk/supportforum)
(www.sane.org.uk/support)
YoungMinds
Information on child and adolescent mental health. Services for parents and professionals.
Phone: Parents' helpline 0808 802 5544 (Mon to Fri, 9.30am to 4pm)
(www.youngminds.org.uk)
Veterans Gateway
The first point of contact for veterans seeking support. We put veterans and their families in touch with the organisations best placed to help with the information, advice and support they need – from healthcare and housing to employability, finances, personal relationships and more.
Phone: 0808 802 1212 Text: 81212 Email: submit here Live chat: here
(https://www.veteransgateway.org.uk/)
First Person Plural
First Person Plural (FPP) specialises in working for and on behalf of all those affected by Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) and similar complex trauma-related dissociative identity conditions. These similar conditions include type 1 Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (DDNOS), and a type of Other Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD) which is described as DID-like.
Phone: 01902810082 (if we do not pick up leave a message and we will contact you as soon as possible but this might not be for a few days as our office is not staffed everyday)
Email: [email protected]
Twitter: @DissociationFPP
LGBT+ helplines:
Switchboard LGBT
Switchboard provides a one-stop listening service for LGBT+ people on the phone, by email and through Instant Messaging.
Phone: 03003300630 (Open 10:00-22:00 every day)
Email: [email protected]
MindlineTrans+
MindLine Trans+ is a confidential emotional, mental health support helpline for people who identify as Transgender, Agender, Gender Fluid, Non-binary..
Phone: 03003305468 (Mondays and Fridays from 8pm to midnight.)
Mermaids UK
Mermaids provides a helpline aimed at supporting transgender youth up to and including the age of 19, their families and professionals working with them.
Phone: 0808 801 0400 (Open Monday - Friday; 9am - 9pm)
Email: [email protected]
(https://www.mermaidsuk.org.uk)
Abuse helplines (child, sexual, domestic violence):
NSPCC
Children's charity dedicated to ending child abuse and child cruelty.
Phone: 0800 1111 for Childline for children (24-hour helpline)
0808 800 5000 for adults concerned about a child (24-hour helpline)
(www.nspcc.org.uk)
Refuge
Advice on dealing with domestic violence.
Phone: 0808 2000 247 (24-hour helpline)
(www.refuge.org.uk)
Women's Aid
Women’s Aid is the national charity working to end domestic abuse against women and children.
Email: [email protected] Live chat: Our hours are Monday to Friday 10:00am - 4:00pm, Saturday and Sunday 10:00am-12:00pm. Here
Respect Men's advice line
The Men’s Advice Line is a confidential helpline for male victims of domestic abuse and those supporting them. We offer advice and emotional support to men who experience abuse, and signpost to other vital services that help keep them and their children safe.
Call: 0808 8010327 or visit: here
Respect phoneline
The Respect Phoneline is an anonymous and confidential helpline for men and women who are harming their partners and families. We provide specialist advice and guidance to help people change their behaviours and support for those working with domestic abuse perpetrators.
Call: 0808 8024040 or visit: here
Honour based abuse/violence, forced marriage and/or female genital mutilation helplines
Freedom Charity
We aim to empower young people to feel they have the tools and confidence to support each other and have practical ways in which they can help their best friend around the issues of family relationships which can lead to early and forced marriage and dishonour based violence
(https://www.freedomcharity.org.uk/)
Phone: 0845 607 0133 ; or text "4freedom"to 88802 (24-hour helpline)
Halo Project
Halo Project Charity is a national project that will support victims of honour-based violence, forced marriages and FGM by providing appropriate advice and support to victims. We will also work with key partners to provide required interventions and advice necessary for the protection and safety of victims.
Phone: 01642 683 045 (9am-5pm)
(https://www.haloproject.org.uk/)
Karma Nirvana
Karma Nirvana is an award-winning National charity supporting victims of honour-based abuse and forced marriage. Honour crimes are not determined by age, faith, gender or sexuality, we support and work with all victims
Phone: 0800 5999 247 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5pm)
(https://karmanirvana.org.uk/)
Addiction helplines (drugs, alcohol, gambling):
Alcoholics Anonymous
Phone: 0845 769 7555 (24-hour helpline)
(www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk)
Gamblers Anonymous
Phone: 0330 094 0322
(www.gamblersanonymous.org.uk)
Narcotics Anonymous
Phone: 0300 999 1212 (daily 10am to midnight)
(www.ukna.org)
Drugfam
Support for families, friends and partners affected by someone else’s addiction to drugs or alcohol.
Phone: 0300 888 3853
(https://www.drugfam.co.uk/)
Alzheimer's helpline:
Alzheimer's Society
Provides information on dementia, including factsheets and helplines.
Phone: 0300 222 1122 (Mon to Fri, 9am to 5pm. Weekends, 10am to 4pm)
(www.alzheimers.org.uk)
Bereavement helplines:
Cruse Bereavement Care
Phone: 0808 808 1677 (Mon to Fri, 9am to 5pm)
Email: [email protected]
CruseChat
(https://www.cruse.org.uk)
Blue Cross for pets
If you have lost, or are facing saying goodbye to, a much loved pet and need somebody to talk to, our Pet Bereavement Support Service is here for you every day from 8.30am – 8.30pm
Phone: 0800 096 6606
Email: [email protected]
The Compassionate Friends
The Compassionate Friends is a charitable organisation of bereaved parents, siblings and grandparents dedicated to the support and care of other similarly bereaved family members who have suffered the death of a child or children of any age and from any cause
Phone: 0345 120 3785 (9:30am - 4:30pm Mon to Fri)
Email: [email protected]
Crime victims helplines:
Rape Crisis
To find your local services phone: 0808 802 9999 (daily, 12 to 2.30pm, 7 to 9.30pm)
(www.rapecrisis.org.uk)
Victim Support
Phone: 0808 168 9111 (24-hour helpline)
(www.victimsupport.org)
Eating disorders helpline:
Beat
Phone: 0808 801 0677 (adults) or 0808 801 0711 (for under-18s)
(www.b-eat.co.uk)
Learning disabilities helpline:
Mencap
Charity working with people with a learning disability, their families and carers.
Phone: 0808 808 1111 (Mon to Fri, 9am to 5pm)
(www.mencap.org.uk)
Parenting helpline:
Family Lives
Advice on all aspects of parenting including dealing with bullying.
Phone: 0808 800 2222 (Mon to Fri, 9am to 9pm. Sat to Sun, 10am to 3pm)
(www.familylives.org.uk)
Relationships helpline:
Relate
The UK's largest provider of relationship support.
(www.relate.org.uk)
Mental health resources:

is gambling addiction a disability

is gambling addiction a disability - win

Disabled Mother can’t mange her own finances, has no concept of money and a gambling addiction. A social worker pointed me to a Payee service but they have no openings, is it a horrible idea to do it myself for a short time?

A gambling-addicted property manager is not disabled under federal law

A gambling-addicted property manager is not disabled under federal law

Dota Addiction

The Mystery of the Bakersfield 3: Two friends disappeared, a third died in a drive-by shooting. Their families suspected the crimes were linked. How did Baylee Despot, Micah Holsonbake, and James Kulstad end up in the middle of an arms trafficking and murder plot in their California city?

This one weirded me out

Huge list of UK mental health resources and helplines.

ME CONNECT HELPLINE

0344 576 5326

What should I be aware of with my mother?

I’m tired, torn and in need of some advice

My ED is just damage control for the future in my eyes

Mental Health Resources for Students (Compilation)

Make a option to perm disable duel arena.

Mental health helplines & resources (updated with region-specific links for England and country-specific for the rest of the UK)

Homophobic MIL kicked us out, but refuses to let us out of her life

Please ban me from the hearthstone store

UK mental health helplines and resources

is gambling addiction a disability video

is gambling addiction a disability top