I have reservations to travel to Costa Rica for a friend's bachelor party in less than a week. We are staying in Tamarindo and it would be a fairly large group of us (8-10 ppl). We booked our flights/airbnb several months ago, before the newest, stringent restrictions were announced:
January 4-17: Capacity of bars and casinos will be limited to 25%, national parks will operate at 50% capacity, and beaches will be open only from 5:00 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. Most businesses with a health permit (including restaurants, nonessential shops, etc.) will be allowed to operate on the regular schedule of 5:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. (weekdays) and 5:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. (weekends)
Does anyone know how strictly these restrictions will be enforced in a smaller city like Tamarindo? At this point, it doesn't seem worth it to head down there with this level of restrictions. In particular, I'm worried about bars closing at 9pm, as we are headed down for a bachelor party.
Thanks

TL;DR: Man with too much time on his hands goes deep down the rabbit hole on a concept this sub already didn’t seem that enthusiastic about. If you really want to skip ahead, CTRL+F “verdict” and it’ll get you there.
Two days ago, u/MrPhillyj2wns made a post asking whether USL should launch a D1 league in order to compete in Concacaf. From the top voted replies, it appears this made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.
But I’ve been at home for eight weeks and I am terribly, terribly bored.
So, I present to you this overview of what the USL pyramid might look like if Jake Edwards got a head of steam and attempted to establish a USSF-sanctioned first division. This is by no means an endorsement of such a proposal or even a suggestion that USL SHOULD do such a thing. It is merely an examination of whether they COULD.
Welcome to the Thunderdome USL Premiership
First, there are some base-level assumptions we must make in this exercise, because it makes me feel more scientific and not like a guy who wrote this on Sunday while watching the Belarusian Premier League (Go BATE Borisov!).

1. All D1 teams must comply with known USSF requirements for D1 leagues (more on that later).
   
2. MLS, not liking this move, will immediately remove all directly-owned affiliate clubs from the USL structure (this does not include hybrid ownerships, like San Antonio FC – NYCFC). This removes all MLS2 teams but will not affect Colorado Springs, Reno, RGVFC and San Antonio.
   
3. The USL will attempt to maintain both the USL Championship and USL League One, with an eventual mind toward creating the pro/rel paradise that is promised in Relegations 3:16.
   
4. All of my research regarding facility size and ownership net worth is correct – this is probably the biggest leap of faith we have to make, since googling “NAME net worth” and “CITY richest people” doesn’t seem guaranteed to return accurate results.
   
5. The most a club can increase its available seating capacity to meet D1 requirements in a current stadium is no more than 1,500 seats (10% of the required 15,000). If they need to add more, they’ll need a new facility.
   
6. Let’s pretend that people are VERY willing to sell. It’s commonly acknowledged that the USL is a more financially feasible route to owning a soccer club than in MLS (c.f. MLS-Charlotte’s reported $325 million expansion fee) and the USSF has some very strict requirements for D1 sanctioning. It becomes pretty apparent when googling a lot of team’s owners that this requirement isn’t met, so let’s assume everyone that can’t sells to people who meet the requirements.
   

(Known) USSF D1 league requirements:
- League must have 12 teams to apply and 14 teams by year three
- Majority owner must have a net worth of $40 million, and the ownership group must have a total net worth of $70 million. The value of an owned stadium is not considered when calculating this value.
- Must have teams located in the Eastern, Central and Pacific time zones
- 75% of league’s teams must be based in markets with at a metro population of at least 1 million people.
- All league stadiums must have a capacity of at least 15,000
The ideal club candidate for the USL Premiership will meet the population and capacity requirements in its current ground, which will have a grass playing surface. Of the USL Championship’s 27 independent/hybrid affiliate clubs, I did not find one club that meets all these criteria as they currently stand.
Regarding turf fields, the USSF does not have a formal policy regarding the ideal playing surface but it is generally acknowledged that grass is superior to turf. 6 of 26 MLS stadiums utilize turf, or roughly 23% of stadiums. We’ll hold a similar restriction for our top flight, so 2-3 of our top flight clubs can have turf fields. Seem fair?
Capacity is going to be the biggest issue, since the disparity between current requirements for the second-tier (5,000) and the first tier (15,000) is a pretty massive gap. Nice club you have there, triple your capacity and you’re onto something. As a result, I have taken the liberty of relocating certain (read: nearly all) clubs to new grounds, trying my utmost to keep those clubs in their current markets and –importantly--, ensure they play on grass surfaces.
So, let’s do a case-by-case evaluation and see if we can put together 12-14 teams that meet the potential requirements, because what else do you have to do?
For each club’s breakdown, anything that represents a chance from what is currently true will be underlined.
Candidate: Birmingham Legion FC
Location (Metro population): Birmingham, Ala. (1,151,801)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Legion Field (FieldTurf, 71,594)
Potential owner: Stephens Family (reported net worth $4 billion)
Notes: Birmingham has a pretty strong candidacy. Having ditched the 5,000-seater BBVA Field for Legion Field, which sits 2.4 miles away, they’ve tapped into the city’s soccer history. Legion Field hosted portions of both the men’s and women’s tournaments at the 1996 Olympics, including a 3-1 U.S. loss to Argentina that saw 83,183 pack the house. The Harbert family seemed like strong ownership contenders, but since the death of matriarch Marguerite Harbert in 2015, it’s unclear where the wealth in the family is concentrated, so the Stephens seem like a better candidate. The only real knock that I can think of is that we really want to avoid having clubs play on turf, so I’d say they’re on the bubble of our platonic ideal USL Prem.
Candidate: Charleston Battery
Location (Metro population): Charleston, S.C. (713,000)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Johnson Hagood Stadium (Grass, ~14,700)
Potential owner: Anita Zucker (reported net worth $3 billion)
Notes: Charleston’s candidacy isn’t looking great. Already disadvantaged due to its undersized metro population, a move across the Cooper River to Johnson Hagood Stadium is cutting it close in terms of capacity. The stadium, home to The Citadel’s football team, used to seat 21,000, before 9,300 seats on the eastern grandstand were torn down in 2017 to deal with lead paint that had been used in their construction. Renovation plans include adding 3,000 seats back in, which could hit 15,000 if they bumped it to 3,300, but throw in a required sale by HCFC, LLC (led by content-creation platform founder Rob Salvatore) to chemical magnate Anita Zucker, and you’ll see there’s a lot of ifs and ands in this proposal.
Candidate: Charlotte Independence
Location (Metro population): Charlotte, N.C. (2,569, 213)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Jerry Richardson Stadium (Turf, 15,314)
Potential owner: James Goodnight (reported net worth $9.1 billion)
Notes: Charlotte ticks a lot of the boxes. A move from the Sportsplex at Matthews to UNC-Charlotte’s Jerry Richardson stadium meets capacity requirements, but puts them on to the dreaded turf. Regrettably, nearby American Legion Memorial Stadium only seats 10,500, despite a grass playing surface. With a sizeable metro population (sixth-largest in the USL Championship) and a possible owner in software billionaire James Goodnight, you’ve got some options here. The biggest problem likely lies in direct competition for market share against a much better-funded MLS Charlotte side due to join the league in 2021.
Candidate: Hartford Athletic
Location (Metro population): Hartford, Conn. (1,214,295)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Pratt & Whitney Stadium (Grass, 38,066)
Potential owner: Ray Dalio (reported net worth $18.4 billion)
Notes: Okay, I cheated a bit here, having to relocate Hartford to Pratt & Whitney Stadium, which is technically in East Hartford, Conn. I don’t know enough about the area to know if there’s some kind of massive beef between the two cities, but the club has history there, having played seven games in 2019 while Dillon Stadium underwent renovations. If the group of local businessmen that currently own the club manage to attract Dalio to the table, we’re on to something.
Candidate: Indy Eleven
Location (Metro population): Indianapolis, Ind. (2,048,703)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Lucas Oil Stadium (Turf, 62,421)
Potential owner: Jim Irsay (reported net worth of $3 billion)
Notes: Indy Eleven are a club that are SO CLOSE to being an ideal candidate – if it weren’t for Lucas Oil Stadium’s turf playing surface. Still, there’s a lot to like in this bid. I’m not going to lie, I have no idea what current owner and founder Ersal Ozdemir is worth, but it seems like there might be cause for concern. A sale to Irsay, who also owns the NFL Indianapolis (nee Baltimore) Colts, seems likely to keep the franchise there, rather than make a half-mile move to 14,230 capacity Victory Field where the AAA Indianapolis Indians play and expand from there.
Candidate: Louisville City FC
Location (Metro population): Louisville, Ky. (1,297,310)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Lynn Family Stadium (Grass, 14,000, possibly expandable to 20,000)
Potential owner: Wayne Hughes (reported net worth $2.8 billion)
Notes: I’m stretching things a bit here. Lynn Family stadium is currently listed as having 11,700 capacity that’s expandable to 14,000, but they’ve said that the ground could hold as many as 20,000 with additional construction, which might be enough to grant them a temporary waiver from USSF. If the stadium is a no-go, then there’s always Cardinal Stadium, home to the University of Louisville’s football team, which seats 65,000 but is turf. Either way, it seems like a sale to someone like Public Storage founder Wayne Hughes will be necessary to ensure the club has enough capital.
Candidate: Memphis 901 FC
Location (Metro population): Memphis, Tenn. (1,348,260)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Liberty Bowl Stadium (Turf, 58,325)
Potential owner: Fred Smith (reported net worth $3 billion)
Notes: Unfortunately for Memphis, AutoZone Park’s 10,000 seats won’t cut it at the D1 level. With its urban location, it would likely prove tough to renovate, as well. Liberty Bowl Stadium more than meets the need, but will involve the use of the dreaded turf. As far as an owner goes, FedEx founder Fred Smith seems like a good local option.
Candidate: Miami FC, “The”
Location (Metro population): Miami, Fla. (6,158,824)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Riccardo Silva Stadium (FieldTurf, 20,000)
Potential owner: Riccardo Silva (reported net worth $1 billion)
Notes: Well, well, well, Silva might get his wish for top-flight soccer, after all. He’s got the money, he’s got the metro, and his ground has the capacity. There is the nagging issue of the turf, though. Hard Rock Stadium might present a solution, including a capacity of 64,767 and a grass playing surface. It is worth noting, however, that this is the first profile where I didn’t have to find a new potential owner for a club.
Candidate: North Carolina FC
Location (Metro population): Durham, N.C. (1,214,516 in The Triangle)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Carter-Finley Stadium (Grass/Turf, 57,583)
Potential owner: Steve Malik (precise net worth unknown) / Dennis Gillings (reported net worth of $1.7 billion)
Notes: We have our first “relocation” in North Carolina FC, who were forced to trade Cary’s 10,000-seat WakeMed Soccer Park for Carter-Finley Stadium in Durham, home of the NC State Wolfpack and 57,583 of their closest friends. The move is a whopping 3.1 miles, thanks to the close-knit hub that exists between Cary, Durham and Raleigh. Carter-Finley might be my favorite of the stadium moves in this exercise. The field is grass, but the sidelines are artificial turf. Weird, right? Either way, it was good enough for Juventus to play a friendly against Chivas de Guadalajara there in 2011. Maybe the move would be pushed for by new owner and medical magnate Dennis Gillings, whose British roots might inspire him to get involved in the Beautiful Game. Straight up, though, I couldn’t find a net worth for current owner Steve Malik, though he did sell his company MedFusion for $91 million in 2010, then bought it back for an undisclosed amount and sold it again for $43 million last November. I don’t know if Malik has the juice to meet D1 requirements, but I suspect he’s close.
Candidate: Pittsburgh Riverhounds SC
Location (Metro population): Pittsburgh, Penn. (2,362,453)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Heinz Field (Grass, 64,450)
Potential owner: Henry Hillman (reported net worth $2.5 billion)
Notes: I don’t know a ton about the Riverhounds, but this move in particular feels like depriving a pretty blue-collar club from its roots. Highmark Stadium is a no-go from a seating perspective, but the Steelers’ home stadium at Heinz Field would more than meet the requirements and have a grass surface that was large enough to be sanctioned for a FIFA friendly between the U.S. WNT and Costa Rica in 2015. As for an owner, Tuffy Shallenberger (first ballot owner name HOF) doesn’t seem to fit the USSF bill, but legendary Pittsburgh industrialist Henry Hillman might. I’m sure you’re asking, why not the Rooney Family, if they’ll play at Heinz Field? I’ll tell you: I honestly can’t seem to pin down a value for the family. The Steelers are valued at a little over a billion and rumors persist that Dan Rooney is worth $500 million, but I’m not sure. I guess the Rooneys would work too, but it’s a definite departure from an owner in Shallenberger who was described by one journalist as a guy who “wears boots, jeans, a sweater and a trucker hat.”
Candidate: Saint Louis FC
Location (Metro population): St. Louis, Mo. (2,807,338)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Busch Stadium (Grass, 45,494)
Potential owner: William DeWitt Jr. (reported net worth $4 billion)
Notes: Saint Louis has some weirdness in making the jump to D1. Current CEO Jim Kavanaugh is an owner of the MLS side that will begin play in 2022. The club’s current ground at West Community Stadium isn’t big enough, but perhaps a timely sale to Cardinals owner William DeWitt Jr. could see the club playing games at Busch Stadium, which has a well established history of hosting other sports like hockey, college football and soccer (most recently a U.S. WNT friendly against New Zealand in 2019). The competition with another MLS franchise wouldn’t be ideal, like Charlotte, but with a big enough population and cross marketing from the Cardinals, maybe there’s a winner here. Wacko idea: If Busch doesn’t pan out, send them to The Dome. Sure, it’s a 60k turf closed-in stadium, but we can go for that retro NASL feel and pay homage to our nation’s soccer history.
Candidate: Tampa Bay Rowdies
Location (Metro population): Tampa, Fla. (3,068,511)
Time zone: Eastern
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Raymond James Stadium (Grass, 65,518)
Potential owner: Edward DeBartolo Jr. (reported net worth $3 billion)
Notes: This one makes me sad. Despite having never been there, I see Al Lang Stadium as an iconic part of the Rowdies experience. Current owner Bill Edwards proposed an expansion to 18,000 seats in 2016, but the move seems to have stalled out. Frustrated with the city’s lack of action, Edwards sells to one-time San Francisco 49ers owner Edward DeBartolo Jr., who uses his old NFL connections to secure a cushy lease at the home of the Buccaneers in Ray Jay, the site of a 3-1 thrashing of Antigua and Barbuda during the United States’ 2014 World Cup Qualifying campaign.
Breather. Hey, we finished the Eastern Conference teams. Why are you still reading this? Why am I still writing it? Time is a meaningless construct in 2020 my friends, we are adrift in the void, fueled only by brief flashes of what once was and what may yet still be.
Candidate: Austin Bold FC
Location (Metro population): Austin, Texas (2,168,316)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Darrel K Royal – Texas Memorial Stadium (FieldTurf, 95,594)
Potential owner: Michael Dell (reported net worth of $32.3 billion)
Notes: Anthony Precourt’s Austin FC has some unexpected competition and it comes in the form of tech magnate Michael Dell. Dell, were he to buy the club, would be one of the richest owners on our list and could flash his cash in the new first division. Would he have enough to convince Darrel K Royal – Texas Memorial Stadium (I’m not kidding, that’s its actual name) to go back to a grass surface, like it did from ’96-’08? That’s between Dell and nearly 100,000 UT football fans, but everything can be had for the right price.
Candidate: Colorado Springs Switchbacks FC
Location (Metro population): Colorado Springs, Colo. (738,939)
Time zone: Mountain
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Falcon Stadium (FieldTurf, 46,692)
Potential owner: Charles Ergen (reported net worth $10.8 billion)
Notes: Welcome to Colorado Springs. We have hurdles. For the first time in 12 candidates, we’re back below the desired 1 million metro population mark. Colorado Springs actually plans to build a $35 million, 8,000 seat venue downtown that will be perfect for soccer, but in our timeline that’s 7,000 seats short. Enter Falcon Stadium, home of the Air Force Academy Falcons football team. Seems perfect except for the turf, right? Well, the tricky thing is that Falcon Stadium is technically on an active military base and is (I believe) government property. Challenges to getting in and out of the ground aside, the military tends to have a pretty grim view of government property being used by for-profit enterprises. Maybe Charles Ergen, founder and chairman of Dish Network, would be able to grease the right wheels, but you can go ahead and throw this into the “doubtful” category. It’s a shame, too. 6,035 feet of elevation is one hell of a home-field advantage.
Candidate: El Paso Locomotive FC
Location: El Paso, Texas
Time zone: Mountain
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Sun Bowl (FieldTurf, 51,500)
Potential owner: Paul Foster (reported net worth $1.7 billion)
Notes: God bless Texas. When compiling this list, I found so many of the theoretical stadium replacements were nearly serviceable by high school football fields. That’s insane, right? Anyway, Locomotive don’t have to settle for one of those, they’ve got the Sun Bowl, which had its capacity reduced in 2001 to a paltry 51,500 (from 52,000) specifically to accommodate soccer. Sure, it’s a turf surface, but what does new owner Paul Foster (who is only the 1,477th wealthiest man in the world, per Forbes) care, he’s got a team in a top league. Side note: Did you know that the Sun Bowl college football game is officially, through sponsorship, the Tony the Tiger Sun Bowl? Why is it not the Frosted Flakes Sun Bowl? Why is the cereal mascot the promotional name of the football game? What are you doing, Kellogg’s?
Candidate: Las Vegas Lights FC
Location: Las Vegas, Nev. (2,227,053)
Time zone: Pacific
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Allegiant Stadium (Grass, 61,000)
Potential owner: Sheldon Adelson (reported net worth $37.7 billion)
Notes: Sin City. You had to know that the club that once signed Freddy Adu because “why not” was going to go all out in our flashy hypothetical proposal. Thanks to my narrative control of this whole thing, they have. Adelson is the second-richest owner in the league and has decided to do everything first class. That includes using the new Raiders stadium in nearby unincorporated Paradise, Nevada, and spending boatloads on high profile transfers. Zlatan is coming back to the U.S., confirmed.
Candidate: New Mexico United
Location: Albuquerque, N.M.
Time zone: Mountain
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Isotopes Park – officially Rio Grande Credit Union Field at Isotopes Park (Grass, 13,500 – 15,000 with expansion)
Potential owner: Maloof Family (reported net worth $1 billion)
Notes: New Mexico from its inception went deep on the community vibe, and I’ve tried to replicate that in this bid. The home field of Rio Grande Cr---I’m not typing out the whole thing—Isotopes Park falls just within the expansion rules we set to make it to 15,000 (weird, right?) and they’ve found a great local ownership group in the Lebanese-American Maloof (formerly Maalouf) family from Las Vegas. The only thing to worry about would be the metro population, but overall, this could be one of the gems of USL Prem.
Candidate: Oklahoma City Energy FC
Location: Oklahoma City, Okla. (1,396,445)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark (Grass, 13,066)
Potential owner: Harold Hamm (reported net worth $14.2 billion)
Notes: There’s a bright golden haze on the meadow and it says it’s time to change stadiums and owners to make it to D1. A sale to oil magnate Harold Hamm would give the club the finances it needs, but Chickasaw Bricktown Ballpark (home of the OKC Dodgers) actually falls outside of the boundary of what would meet capacity if 1,500 seats were added. Could the club pull off a move to Gaylord Family Oklahoma Memorial Stadium in Norman, Oklahoma – home of the Oklahoma Sooners? Maybe, but at 20 miles, this would be a reach.
Candidate: Orange County SC
Location: Irvine, Calif. (3,176, 000 in Orange County)
Time zone: Pacific
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Angels Stadium of Anaheim (Grass, 43,250)
Potential owner: Arte Moreno (reported net worth $3.3 billion)
Notes: You’ll never convince me that Rangers didn’t choose to partner with Orange County based primarily on its name. Either way, a sale to MLB Angels owner Arte Moreno produces a fruitful partnership, with the owner choosing to play his newest club out of the existing Angels stadium in OC. Another baseball conversion, sure, but with a metro population of over 3 million and the closest thing this hypothetical league has to an LA market, who’s complaining?
Candidate: Phoenix Rising FC
Location: Phoenix, Ariz. (4,857,962)
Time zone: Arizona
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): State Farm Stadium (Grass, 63,400)
Potential owner: Ernest Garcia II (reported net worth $5.7 billion)
Notes: We’re keeping it local with new owner and used car guru Ernest Garcia II. His dad owned a liquor store and he dropped out of college, which is making me feel amazing about my life choices right now. Casino Arizona Field is great, but State Farm Stadium is a grass surface that hosted the 2019 Gold Cup semifinal, so it’s a clear winner. Throw in Phoenix’s massive metro population and this one looks like a lock.
Candidate: Reno 1868 FC
Location: Reno, Nev. (425,417)
Time zone: Pacific
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Mackay Stadium (FieldTurf, 30,000)
Potential owner: Nancy Walton Laurie (reported net worth $7.1 billion)
Notes: The Biggest Little City on Earth has some serious barriers to overcome, thanks to its low metro population. A sale to Walmart heiress Nancy Walton Laurie and 1.6 mile-move to Mackay Stadium to split space with the University of Nevada, Reno makes this bid competitive, but the turf surface is another knock against it.
Candidate: Rio Grande Valley FC
Location: Edinburg, Texas (900,304)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): McAllen Memorial Stadium (FieldTurf, 13,500 – 15,000 with expansion)
Potential owner: Alice Louise Walton (reported net worth $45 billion)
Notes: Yes, I have a second straight Walmart heiress on the list. She was the first thing that popped up when I googled “McAllen Texas richest people.” The family rivalry has spurred Walton to buy a club as well, moving them 10 miles to McAllen Memorial Stadium which, as I alluded to earlier, is a straight up high school football stadium with a full color scoreboard. Toss in an additional 1,500 seats and you’ve met the minimum, despite the turf playing surface.
Candidate: San Antonio FC
Location: San Antonio, Texas (2,550,960)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Alamodome (FieldTurf, 64,000)
Potential owner: Red McCombs (reported net worth $1.6 billion)
Notes: I wanted to keep SAFC in the Spurs family, since the franchise is valued at $1.8 billion. That said, I didn’t let the Rooneys own the Riverhounds based on the Steelers’ value and it felt wrong to change the rules, so bring on Clear Channel co-founder Red McCombs. Toyota Field isn’t viable in the first division, but for the Alamodome, which was built in 1993 in hopes of attracting an NFL franchise (and never did), San Antonio can finally claim having *a* national football league team in its town (contingent on your definition of football). Now if only we could do something about that turf…
Candidate: San Diego Loyal SC
Location: San Diego, Calif. (3,317,749)
Time zone: Pacific
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): SDCCU Stadium (formerly Qualcomm) (Grass, 70,561)
Potential owner: Phil Mickelson (reported net worth $91 million)
Notes: Yes, golf’s Phil Mickelson. The existing ownership group didn’t seem to have the wherewithal to meet requirements, and Phil seemed to slot right in. As an athlete himself, he might be interesting in the new challenges of a top flight soccer team. Toss in a move to the former home of the chargers and you might have a basis for tremendous community support.
Candidate: FC Tulsa
Location: Tulsa, Okla. (991,561)
Time zone: Central
Stadium (playing surface, capacity): Skelly Field at H.A. Chapman Stadium (FieldTurf, 30,000)
Potential owner: George Kaiser ($10 billion)
Notes: I’m a fan of FC Tulsa’s rebrand, but if they want to make the first division, more changes are necessary. A sale to Tulsa native and one of the 100 richest men in the world George Kaiser means that funding is guaranteed. A move to Chapman Stadium would provide the necessary seats, despite the turf field. While the undersize population might be an issue at first glance, it’s hard to imagine U.S. Soccer not granting a waiver over a less than a 10k miss from the mark.
And that’s it! You made it. Those are all of the independent/hybrid affiliates in the USL Championship, which means that it’s time for our…
VERDICT: As an expert who has studied this issue for almost an entire day now, I am prepared to pronounce which USL Championships could be most ‘ready” for a jump to the USL Prem. A reminder that of the 27 clubs surveyed, 0 of them met our ideal criteria (proper ownership $, metro population, 15,000+ stadium with grass field).
Two of them, however, met almost all of those criteria: Indy Eleven and Miami FC. Those two clubs may use up two of our three available turf fields right from the outset, but the other factors they hit (particularly Silva’s ownership of Miami) makes them difficult, if not impossible to ignore for the top flight.
But who fill in the rest of the slots? Meet the entire 14-team USL Premier League:
Hartford Athletic
Indy Eleven
Louisville City FC
Miami FC
North Carolina FC
Pittsburgh Riverhounds SC
Tampa Bay Rowdies
Saint Louis FC
San Antonio FC
New Mexico United
Phoenix Rising FC
Las Vegas Lights FC
Orange County SC
San Diego Loyal SC
Now, I shall provide my expert rationale for each club’s inclusion/exclusion, which can be roughly broken down into four categories.
Firm “yes”
Hartford Athletic: It’s a good market size with a solid stadium. With a decent investor and good community support, you’ve got potential here.
Indy Eleven: The turf at Lucas Oil Stadium is no reason to turn down a 62,421 venue and a metro population of over 2 million.
Louisville City FC: Why doesn’t the 2017 & 2018 USL Cup champion deserve a crack at the top flight? They have the market size, and with a bit of expansion have the stadium at their own SSS. LCFC, you’re in.
Miami FC, “The”: Our other blue-chip recruit on the basis of ownership value, market size and stadium capacity. Yes, that field is turf, but how could you snub Silva’s chance to claim victory as the first division 1 club soccer team to play in Miami?
Pittsburgh Riverhounds SC: Pittsburgh sacrificed a lot to be here (according to my arbitrary calculations). Their market size and the potential boon of soccer at Heinz Field is an important inclusion to the league.
Saint Louis FC: Willie hears your “Busch League” jokes, Willie don’t care. A huge market size, combined with the absence of an NFL franchise creates opportunity. Competition with the MLS side, sure, but St. Louis has serious soccer history and we’re willing to bet it can support two clubs.
Tampa Bay Rowdies: With a huge population and a massive stadium waiting nearby, Tampa Bay seems like too good of an opportunity to pass up for the USL Prem.
Las Vegas Lights FC: Ostentatious, massive and well-financed, Las Vegas Lights FC is everything that the USL Premier League would need to assert that it didn’t intend to play second fiddle to MLS. Players will need to be kept on a short leash, but this is a hard market to pass up on.
Phoenix Rising FC: Huge population, big grass field available nearby and a solid history of success in recent years. No brainer.
San Diego Loyal SC: New club? Yes, massive population in a market that recently lost an absolutely huge sports presence? Also yes. This could be the USL Prem’s Seattle.
Cautious “yes”
New Mexico United: You have to take a chance on New Mexico United. The club set the league on fire with its social media presence and its weight in the community when it entered the league last season. The market may be slightly under USSF’s desired 1 million, but fervent support (and the ability to continue to use Isotopes Park) shouldn’t be discounted.
North Carolina FC: Carter-Finley’s mixed grass/turf surface is a barrier, to be sure, but the 57,000+ seats it offers (and being enough to offset other fully-turf offerings) is enough to put it in the black.
Orange County SC: It’s a top-tier club playing in a MLB stadium. I know it seems unlikely that USSF would approve something like that, but believe me when I say “it could happen.” Orange County is a massive market and California likely needs two clubs in the top flight.
San Antonio FC: Our third and only voluntary inclusion to the turf fields in the first division, we’re counting on San Antonio’s size and massive potential stadium to see it through.
Cautious “no”
Birmingham Legion FC: The town has solid soccer history and a huge potential venue, but the turf playing surface puts it on the outside looking in.
Memphis 901 FC: Like Birmingham, not much to dislike here outside of the turf playing surface at the larger playing venue.
Austin Bold FC: See the other two above.
FC Tulsa: Everything’s just a little bit off with this one. Market’s slightly too small, stadium has turf. Just not enough to put it over the top.
Firm “no”
Charleston Battery: Small metro and a small potential new stadium? It’s tough to say yes to the risk.
Charlotte Independence: A small new stadium and the possibility of having to compete with an organization that just paid over $300 million to join MLS means it’s best for this club to remain in the USL Championship.
Colorado Springs Switchbacks FC: When a club’s best chance to meet a capacity requirement is to host games at a venue controlled by the military, that doesn’t speak well to a club’s chances.
El Paso Locomotive FC: An undersized market and a turf field that meets capacity requirements is the death knell for this one.
Oklahoma City Energy FC: Having to expand a baseball field to meet requirements is a bad start. Having to potentially play 20 miles away from your main market is even worse.
Reno 1868 FC: Population nearly a half-million short of the federation’s requirements AND a turf field at the hypothetical new stadium makes impossible to say yes to this bid.
Rio Grande Valley FC: All the seat expansions in the world can’t hide the fact that McAllen Memorial Stadium is a high school stadium through and through.
Here’s who’s left in the 11-team Championship:
Birmingham Legion FC
Charleston Battery
Charlotte Independence
Memphis 901 FC
Austin Bold FC
Colorado Springs Switchbacks FC
El Paso Locomotive FC
Oklahoma City Energy FC
Reno 1868 FC
Rio Grande Valley FC
FC Tulsa
With MLS folding the six affiliates it has in USL League One, the league is a little bit thin (especially considering USSF’s requirements for 8 teams for lower level leagues), but seems definitely able to expand up to the necessary numbers with Edwards’ allusions to five new additions this year:
Chattanooga Red Wolves SC
Forward Madison FC
Greenville Triumph SC
Union Omaha
Richmond Kickers
South Georgia Tormenta
FC Tucson
Format of Assorted Leagues – This (like everything in this post) is pure conjecture on my part, but here are my thoughts on how these leagues might function in a first year while waiting for additional expansion.
USL Premier – We’ll steal from the 12-team Scottish Premiership. Each club plays the other 11 clubs 3 times, with either one or two home matches against each side. When each club has played 33 matches, the top six and bottom six separate, with every club playing an additional five matches (against each other team in its group). The top club wins the league. The bottom club is automatically relegated. The second-bottom club will enter a two-legged playoff against someone (see below) from the championship playoffs.
USL Championship -- 11 clubs is a challenge to schedule for. How about every club plays everyone else three times (either one or two home matches against each side)? Top four clubs make the playoffs, which are decided by two-legged playoffs. The winner automatically goes up. I need feedback on the second part – is it better to have the runner-up from the playoffs face the second-bottom club from the Premiership, or should the winner of the third-place match-up get the chance to face them to keep drama going in both playoff series? As for relegation, we can clearly only send down the last place club while the third division is so small.
USL League One – While the league is so small, it doesn’t seem reasonable to have the clubs play as many matches as the higher divisions. Each club could play the other six clubs four times – twice at home and twice away – for a very equitable 24-match regular season, which would help restrict costs and still provide a chance to determine a clear winner. Whoever finishes top of the table goes up.
And there you have it, a hypothetical look at how the USL could build a D1 league right now. All it would take is a new stadium for almost the entire league and new owners for all but one of the 27 clubs, who wouldn’t feel that their property would be massively devalued if they got relegated.
Well that’s our show. I’m curious to see what you think of all of this, especially anything that you think I may have overlooked (I’m sure there’s plenty). Anyway, I hope you’re all staying safe and well.

Meeting McCarthy
by Garry Wallace
Southern Quarterly, 1992, 30(4), 134-139
In March of 1989, while traveling to El Paso with Betty Carey, I was afforded the opportunity of meeting Cormac McCarthy. Betty Carey, of Las Vegas World Series of Poker fame, was writing a book about her adventures as a professional gambler. She had arranged to meet with McCarthy to discuss her current writing, as well as to rendezvous with their common friend, Frank Morton, another gambler. What follows is my best recollection of the several conversations that took place over three days of our visit. I made no tape recording or notes during these informal, quite friendly talks, but wrote what I remembered in a journal after returning from El Paso. This account is recreated from chapters in my unpublished novel based on my year-long writing partnership with Betty Carey, and is as accurate as memory allows. Where I felt reasonable confident about actual words, I have used direct quotations. Elsewhere, I have paraphrased.
​On a bright spring Sunday morning, Betty and I awaited McCarthy in a quaint family restaurant on Mesa Avenue in El Paso, where Cormac suggested we meet to have brunch. Betty clutched a handkerchief to absorb the perspiration from her hands. She was nervous, as was I. Each time the entrance door opened, we glanced in anticipation. Finally a man, nondescript—medium build, short hair, a dull plaid shirt—walked down the short flight of stairs, his eyes searching the lower tier where we seated. It was Cormac McCarthy.
​Betty smiled and we got up to greet her friend. McCarthy asked about Betty’s book. He had been privy to her very first draft, written three years before. Her stories were about life as a gambler. For thirteen years she had won and lost fortunes, sitting at poker tables across the country with men like Jack Strauss and Amarillo Slim, risking life to hijackers, still able to spirit away tidy sums unknown to anyone but herself. Betty told McCarthy that so much had happened since that first draft that she was in the process of rewriting the whole story. Betty had allegedly been cheated in a Las Vegas casino scam. There were allegations of Gaming Commission and FBI coverups. Her case was then on appeal before the Nevada Supreme Court, ultimately to be thrown out because of the statute of limitations.
​She asked McCarthy if it was common for writers to do so much rewriting. He said he knew a few writers who would compose a hundred pages of a novel and then have to start over, but that he usually knew where his own novels were going from the start.
​Betty told McCarthy that she and I had written the screenplay of her story, and that ICM of Los Angeles had said it possessed some of the same appeal as Silkwood. She failed to mention that the agent had turned it down for being “awkwardly written,” because we’d portrayed Betty as an “arrogant and unsympathetic character,” and because “the authors seem inexperienced in mapping out dramatic framework.” She said, “I’m writing my book in a suspense format. I want it to be a best seller.”
​“I don’t read best sellers,” McCarthy said. Feeling responsible for the latest direction the book had taken, I explained, “What she means by ‘best seller’ is that she wants the facts of the casino scam to reach as many people as possible.” With a curt nod McCarthy indicated that he had understood that to be Betty’s meaning. He acted friendly yet cool toward me, a stranger.
​McCarthy asked if there was a particular author that Betty was patterning her novel after. I mentioned Ken Follett. McCarthy nodded and said that Follet (sic) was good. He mentioned also that Stephen King was a good writer. From his earlier comment on best sellers, I wasn’t sure if McCarthy had read these authors or if he was speaking from hearsay.
​“What do you read?” I asked. McCarthy said he read mostly nonfiction, although he did enjoy Hemingway. Betty and I had a conversation the day before with Irving Brown and his wife, proprietors of a used and rare book store on Mesa Avenue. An acquaintance of McCarthy as well as a professor of philosophy at the University of Texas, El Paso, Brown told us that McCarthy—an unpretentious man who often did his laundry right next door—considered Melville the greatest author, and that he read books about astronomy and physics. Brown especially liked the part in Suttree where Cornelius sees his reflection in the glass door and thinks, “Suttree and anti-Suttree.” Brown said that in his opinion McCarthy had over-read Plato.
​Betty mentioned how hard it was to find the time to write. When I said, “You have to be selfish,” McCarthy agreed, but substituted the word “ruthless.” Betty listed a few of the interruptions she had to put up with, eliciting McCarthy’s remark that he could write in a train station if he had to, but not if somebody kept asking for directions. McCarthy said that he wrote in the morning, every morning. “Why not write every day?” he asked rhetorically. “In the afternoon I visit friends. You can’t write all day long.”
​When Betty said she wished she could just run away from her obligations and be free to write, McCarthy recalled that once he had spent an entire year doing little more than playing pool with his friends.
​Betty and McCarthy talked about their lives, the consequences of their successes. Betty said that no more would she consent to interviews because so often they changed the story, often sensationalizing her life beyond reality. McCarthy agreed, saying that he would not do interviews.1 He told Betty that J. D. Salinger had given only one interview throughout his career as a novelist, to elementary children.
​“Do you teach?” I asked.
​Looking at me sternly, McCarthy said that he did not, and he seemed not to want to discuss it further. He mentioned an author, Robert Fulghum, who had published a somewhat humorous book about learning all you need to know by the time you graduate from kindergarten. McCarthy gave a few examples: “To tell the truth. Not to hit each other. To be fair.”
​Betty laughed. “I like that,” she said. From the things McCarthy said about academia, I understood him to believe that many of human beings’ problems arose from pursuits in education. In a later conversation about spiritual experiences, McCarthy said that education often got in the way of understanding. He added that in certain Eskimo cultures, art, of both high and low quality, was seen as good. Art was a personal expression. Nobody went around telling children how to do theirs differently.
​Betty said she felt different from most people in our society, that she was very much a loner and that her friends would not be considered mainstream. McCarthy referred to himself and Betty as “outlaws.” He gazed at her and said, “Look who we are. We’re desperate people.” They had both lived such uncommon lives that their spirits were easily kindred. I felt that my own life had been too sheltered.
​Again I asked McCarthy if he could recommend any good books or authors that a beginning writer should read. He said, “All great writers read all other great writers.” Upon further prodding, he mentioned several of John McFee’s books and The Song Lines by Bruce Chatwin. McCarthy said that he knew Larry McMurtry; because McCarthy loved the television movie “Lonesome Dove” so much, he said that he would never read the book.
​Betty mentioned her love of traveling and said that some people had suggested she write a book about her travels, or a how-to-on poker, and forget the nonsense about exposing the alleged casino scam that had cheated her out of many thousands of dollars. Betty asked about what she could and could not write about other people. McCarthy said that writers had great latitude in their writing and, on a question about other people’s ideas, said, “If you like it, use it.” I believe this came under the axiom that everything had already been written and that most ideas were neither unique in themselves nor original.
​Brunch ended and the coffee pot went dry. I picked up the bill. Betty and I drove the camper back to the motel with McCarthy following in his old beater. The exterior of his car had been sandblasted to the metal and touched up with primer paint. It looked prepped for the body shop. Even with my untrained ear, I could tell the engine ran well.
​At the motel Betty dug into her briefcase for her most recently drafted chapter, which she handed to McCarthy, apologizing for its not being typed. McCarthy said, “That’s all right. We’re friends. We do things like this for each other.”
​The next day, Betty and I met McCarthy at an out-of-the-way health food store that served frozen yogurt and sandwiches. We ordered at the counter and took seats at a small table next to the front window. After we were served, the conversation turned to writing. Betty asked which person it would be best to write her story in, and McCarthy said that was always a hard question to answer. He asked which person she felt most comfortable writing in, and Betty said that both the first and third had their benefits, but that she just couldn’t decide. She wanted McCarthy to tell her which to use, and he could not do that. He offered suggestions quite sparingly. To a question about how descriptive to make Betty’s book, McCarthy said that the point of most novels could be told in a paragraph. The reason they’re longer is so the author can tell a story. And he said, “Don’t ever treat your audience as if they’re stupid. Your reader is smart.”
​“Have you read Faulkner’s As I Lay Dying?” McCarthy asked. She had not. He explained that each chapter of the novel had been written in the first person from the perspective of each of the different characters. When he suggested that Betty might try something like that, I could see hopelessness on Betty’s face. She had been working on her book for over three years.
​McCarthy mentioned that Faulkner had written the novel during his spare moments while working on a manual labor job at night. He said that Faulkner had even used a wheelbarrow on which to compose the story. McCarthy said that Faulkner never expected the novel to become great, and that the novel had a certain amateurish quality that gave the book its great appeal. He said that Betty should not be overly concerned if her writing was not professional, and that she should try to retain the natural quality that her writing had, as that was often the mark of literature. Because Betty was having trouble getting the most recent draft of the novel started, McCarthy suggested that she could try writing the ending of her story first, then the beginning. He told her to get a tape recorder and tell her stories into a microphone and then play them back.
​Betty talked about the most recent developments of her story, but even with McCarthy she was hesitant to reveal many of the specifics. McCarthy became curious when Betty described the four levels by which she categorized poker players. She explained that the top two levels involved the reading of “tells” (short for “telegraphing”), and the ability to send out misleading “false tells.” She mentioned how she tested people by asking “set up” questions and viewing their responses. She would often ask questions to which she was sure a person would lie, and then remember what behaviors accompanied those responses.
​“Fascinating,” McCarthy said. “Do I have any tells?”
​Betty laughed and studied him more closely. “I haven’t noticed any yet.”
​That night, in a freak blizzard, Betty and I drove to a motel across town where Frank Morton was spending the night on his way home from Los Angeles. Frank was the classic itinerant gambler, as well as a somewhat unorthodox evangelist. He was the liaison who had initially brought McCarthy and Betty together.
​A tall man with graying hair, Frank spoke with a voice that was garbled with years of cigarette smoking, and his breathing was labored. I found him friendly and rather opinionated, but he would listen to your ideas if you could break into the stream of his talk.
​After McCarthy arrived, we all climbed into Frank’s car. The snow and sleet moved on, leaving a violent sand storm in its wake. Frank followed McCarthy’s directions to a Mexican restaurant, and by the time we got there, the wind had died. Frank talked on about the hate among the races in L.A., about people’s lack of trust and the general downfall of the human condition. Each of us added opinions now and then, but it was Frank who monopolized the conversation and filled the air with smoke. We were his congregation. McCarthy sat and listened, offering few observations of his own.
​Back at his motel room, Frank related a number of personal religious experiences that he had had over the years, pointing out the flaws in other people’s lack of faith. I challenged him, saying that one day science would understand these unexplained phenomena for what they really were.
​McCarthy commented that some cultures used drugs to enhance the spiritual experience, and that he had tried LSD before the drug was made illegal. He said that it had helped to open his eyes to these kinds of experiences. Betty recounted having seen the image of Christ on a bus while in Costa Rica. This had been at a time following the casino scam when Betty had been on the run. She said that her experience was as real as our sitting together in the motel room. It had not been a dream or hallucination.
​Always the skeptic, I said, “But how does that prove Christianity? Why not Buddha or Allah? You saw Jesus because you were raised in Jesus-land.” I looked to Frank and McCarthy. Their expressions were sympathetic.
​McCarthy was slumped into one of the chairs with his left leg slung over the arm rest. He appeared a very patient listener. He said that he felt sorry for me because I was unable to grasp this concept of spiritual experience. He said that people all over the world, in every religion, were familiar with this experience. He asked if I’d ever read William James’s The Varieties of Religious Experience. I had not. His attitude seemed to indicate that in this book were the answers to many of the questions posed during our evening discussion. I was nonplussed. ​ ​“Truth,” McCarthy said about what writers must accomplish in their writing.
​“But what exactly is truth?” I asked.
​“Truth,” he repeated, his implications tacit.
​The next morning, Betty and I were at the motel when McCarthy arrived to go over his response to Betty’s chapter. He had written his critique on separate, smaller pieces of paper. Point by point, he went over his comments, offering occasional praise while not sparing the rod. Afterwards, I listed the three qualities I believed necessary for a person to become a successful writher: “To read a lot. To write a lot. To experience a lot.” McCarthy said that we all had experience enough from which to write.
​Months after our visit, I wrote McCarthy, completing a few thoughts I’d been unable to that night we discussed spiritual experiences. Some time later, I received his reply.
​He said that the religious experience is always described through the symbols of a particular culture and thus is somewhat misrepresented by them. He indicated that even the religious person is often uncomfortable with such experiences and accounts of them, and that those who have not had a religious experience cannot comprehend it through second-hand accounts, even good ones like James’s Varieties of Religious Experience. He went on to say that he thinks the mystical experience is a direct apprehension of reality, unmediated by symbol, and he ended with the thought that our inability to see spiritual truth is the greater mystery.
NOTES
1 He has recently made an exception to this rule, granting an interview to the Richard B. Woodward of the New York Times Magazine on the occasion of the publication of All the Pretty Horses. My account of our visit with McCarthy, neither intended nor conducted as an interview, is published here with his knowledge.

This season deserves a special award for inspiring flat-line boredom, with each storyline offering at least one awful person dripping poison over anyone kind or thoughtful.
Natalie: Mike wants for me to be the bad one. What is this farce?
Mike: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over the I DON’T LOVE YOU.
When we last saw Mike, Natalie was spring cleaning his self-esteem the Marie Kondo way, except she torched everything that sparked joy to make room for more misery. Now he’s outside wondering why science hasn’t granted him the ability to beam onto an airplane to spare him the insult of standing in a Ukraine alleyway, waiting for his maybe-fiancée to flounce down the stairs and demand an apology for…something. Natalie, Our Lady of 1,000 Bluffs, somehow finds the strength and courage to amble down the stairs and sit in the backseat of an Uber for a melancholy airport adventure.
Natalie: Mike, everything is good. You must calm down and stop being so dramatic. This is gaslight like in movies. Now I must cure you of hysteria with vibrators and Valium.
Mike: I mean, do we have to keep filming? What if I jump out while the car is moving? Can that be your final scene?
Natalie thinks that in a perfect world Mike would apologize just for sport and then sweep her off her feet, which should be easy since they’re never on the ground. After several awkward airport moments Mike tells Natalie that he’ll call her later, but he needs time for detox and an exorcism. Natalie remains confused that Mike thought she loved him, based on the 30,000 times she said “I love you,” when he should have been able to read her rapidly changing narrative and anticipate ongoing rewrites. She approaches Mike to pretend she doesn’t know what’s going on, but Mike isn’t falling for that shit. He asks for a goodbye hug, she says no, and Mike bounces. Natalie sulks off to find her people in the Land of Bad Decisions, where Tania is waiting for her upon a throne of skulls.
Back home and no longer engaged, Mike is making pancakes for himself and Uncle Beau. Beau comes rushing in the door to ask Mike how the trip was, and to announce that he lost $25 at the casino last night and needs to borrow from the bank of Mike. So um…Mike’s entire life is apparently like this. Can Mike and Syngin get a beer together please?
Blake: I have friends.
Jasmin: I don’t care if Blake’s friends like me. I also don’t care if Blake likes me.
Blake is getting ready for his friend Everett’s birthday party, while Jasmin warms up her excuses for dodging it. Jasmin knows this party was the plan from the start, but decides against being a good introvert who tells him to go without her and to just enjoy himself. Instead, she attempts to smash Blake’s social butterfly in favor of a sober conversation about yoga and tea. She asks Blake if they can skip the pre-party dinner and just eat together, which Blake agrees to with the caveat that he will continue to express his dismay. Blake orders a drink, and Jasmin reminds him that you can’t talk to Jesus when you’re drunk.
Jasmin latches on to Blake drinking as her excuse for avoiding phase 2 of the evening’s pseudo-social interaction. She says she’s going to call her sister instead and pretend to be mad at him while being secretly relieved to enjoy blissful time away from his flock. What remains of Blake’s sense of humor about this situation gets lost trying to escape his hair. Jasmin tells the cameras that it’s selfish to ask her to go to a party, and totally forgets the part where it’s selfish to derail his plans because that plan is something she doesn’t want to do. Blake says that he’s tired of explaining her behavior to his friends. Neither one of these two is capable of having an adult argument, and are likely on a relationship subreddit as I type, posting a totally balanced report of their latest immature interaction.
Jasmin arrives at Janette’s clinical apartment, and declares that Blake refuses to do anything that interests her, because “everything is always about Blake.” She says that Finnish folks are calmer, while Janette tells her that she needs to keep trying to adapt, and by “keep trying” she means try at all.
Tania: Okay guys, I get it, I’m like, the villain here. Did anyone else just feel a weird rush of glee? That must be Mercury in douchebag and Mars going direct into asshole.
Totally grounded and focused financial wizard Fucking Tania has put her trusty pink shirt in time-out, for a responsible and goal-oriented phone call to an astrologer with a predictable funny name. But not before Syngin fetches precise room temperature water for her to swallow with her lizard tongue to maintain the skin suit that presents some approximation of humanity.
Syngin calls his mother to gather the data necessary for someone to cold-read Tania over Skype, and his mom clarifies that he was born at “twenty to three.” Resident expert Tania mansplains that this means 2:40, and this is apparently how she will feel superior today.
“We are energy beings,” Tania tanias. “And I was born at a certain time for a certain reason, and that reason is to vampire every shred of joy from Syngin’s twinkling soul.”
“Marie Kondo,” Natalia pipes in. “Clean out all of the joy.”
Astrologist Daizy October picked that name on purpose, and tells Tania something about “blueprints of the soul” which makes the first shelf of the New Age section of the bookstore start vibrating. She declares that Sagittarius is the archetype of travel, which is what one would say to someone who can afford Costa Rica but not a shed of one’s own.
Daizy: Now Mars in Scorpio, and Tania is in existence, which means there’s going to be some fighting, and sex is important. Syngin, blink if you need help.
Syngin: Oh yes.
Fucking Tania: Is that blood in the water? No wonder I’m hungry.
Syngin: By “oh yes” I meant yes, I need help.
Ms. October says that their souls bring them together, which would make sense if Tania had one, and asks if they’re soulmates. Syngin says their connection is so vivid he feels like he’s met her before, and then he died to escape her. Tania looks drunk on hurting Syngin, and pushes it further by insisting her first love was her soulmate, and he still is, even though she hasn’t been with that dude for like 8 years or so, and the restraining order keeps getting renewed over and over again. Syngin points out that they met in a star-crossed way, foolishly failing to note that hurting him is Tania’s entire objective.
“I feel like I don’t know what to say, because anything I say will hurt you, which is why I can’t stop laughing. I’m fine,” Tania reports. Then Syngin tells the cameras he needs a break to restore his essence, and Tania hovers in the doorway, eagerly anticipating the chance to harvest from him all over again.
So to recap: Tania, who trusts in the universe, does not trust that the universe gifted her Syngin, but instead believes that eventually she’ll be regifted the tattered remains of her original bottom, who has likely moved on to other astral alignments, and a thousand mile away zip code. Yep, this is pretty on brand for Tania.
Angela: I’m not the bad guy, I’m a tax payer!
Michael: I have a shopping list.
Angela’s chest is newly covered in an ancient pirate treasure map, guiding strangers to the booty in her bra. Her plan is to storm the American embassy and assert her tax payer status as a means of pushing this K-1 process forward. After ambling through the gates and harassing multiple members of security, she emerges and bellows to Michael. She says they wouldn’t let her into the embassy since she doesn’t have an appointment, and strangely, they don’t consider a white lady demanding a K-1 an emergency. Maybe she needed to explain that she’s working with the alternative reality where she can carry a child, and they wouldn’t give her Botox in her uterus.
The next day they go to Michael’s uncle’s house for dinner, but first they have to stop and pick up a microwave for Michael’s mother. Angela is worried that the material expectations increase with every dinner, and says that the gifts can’t keep growing in value.
“Please Angela. We need to present a love and respect microwave,” Michael persuades.
The man working at the store states a price far more than the microwave is worth, and then Michael says he should price it less because they’re going to get something else, too. This is his way of surprising Angela with a required gift for his uncle. She tells the shopkeeper that she’s got 15,000 stored under her best titty, and he should take it and call it good now that she’s his African sister. Okay then. The guy takes it, and she walks away with a microwave and kettle.
Angela is happy to visit his family, especially Michael’s mother, whom she loves so much. As the most junior, or newest, wife, Angela is expected to help cook and serve as a sign of humility. She awkwardly works on plantains while Michael insists he’s not expecting much in terms of domesticity once they are stateside, but he will expect her to cook, in addition to being the only breadwinner and caretaker for a bushel basket of people. Even the producer laughs, because the only thing Angela will be cooking in Georgia is Michael if he maintains that ridiculous idea.
Michael’s family starts asking about their wedding plans, and Angela explains that the K-1 is her family’s only opportunity to see her get hitched. They are eager for Michael to have a child with Angela’s ashy uterus, and his whole family starts weighing in on the matter, which nudges Angela right to the edge. She somehow keeps her mouth shut and remains respectful, even after Uncle says that if it doesn’t work Michael should move on to the next baby basket, which is a regional woman unlikely to arrive with household appliances. Are they trying to get on Maury? If you listen closely you can hear Angela’s internal kettle whistling away, and her microwave chiming ding-ding-ding.
Emily: You don’t have to be a Debbie Downer!
Betsy: I will be one ASAP!
Emily has freed Sasha from the clutches of Indiana in favor of her fake hometown Portland, where she takes him to Washington Park’s Rose Garden to show him how shitty west coast cities are, amirite Trump? Emily says that it’s going to be expensive to go from two-for-one Indiana to Portland’s most expensive suburb, confirming my suspicion that she’s from Lake Oswego, where Real Housewives ferment until their first divorce and rehab stint. This is good news for Sasha, who is very likely to find a wealth of personal training clients and his fourth wife there. Emily says they should get married ASAP, and Sasha agrees without knowing what ASAP means.
“After two weddings, third not so much,” Sasha shrugs. “Fourth will be court house. Fifth, maybe commitment ceremony.”
Emily heads back to scenic South Bend to save hundreds of dollars on a wedding dress. She says she’s leaning towards the Oregon coast as a wedding location, which makes sense if you don’t know that every venue from Brookings to Astoria is booked ages in advance, but she wouldn’t be the first or last person to turn that AirBnB into Plan A and Plan B. Emily’s sister is there to remind her that every idea she has about her impending nuptials is wrong, which is not fair to Emily, who knows every lace dress is better with piercing wind and sand. The salesperson hides in the dressing room from their endless passive-aggressive sparring, before coming out to place a veil and headpiece on Emily and make Betsy cry.
Robert: I’m terrible. Why are you always complaining?
Anny: I would like to go out with Robin or Mike now please.
Hey guys, you know how 90DF always has one trashy, delusional family that believes the fiancé is there to steal their no-money? Well, this round it’s fucking Robert, father of five who appears to be largely free from the burdens of child support...or who perhaps opts for tax-free employment for those very reasons. He’s dragging Anny and the other person who is nice to her (his sister Robin) to a restaurant to meet up with his equally-awful brother Kenny. Robin says that Bryson loves Anny and that she really likes her too, while Kenny gets busy disrespecting and humiliating her before she can work a “hello” out of her mouth.
Kenny wants to know how she’ll be in the future, and Anny suspects he doesn’t know what year it is, so she reminds him that they live in the present, and what matters is how they treat each other now. In response, Kenny says he’s not sure if he’s going to their wedding at all, carrying on the 9DF tradition of families that fail to notice it isn’t all about them.
Now fully defensive and uneasy, Anny asks if Kenny is cheap too, and Robin assures Anny that she wouldn’t be a fan of a thrift store shopping spree, either. This gets in the way of Robert and Kenny’s plan to disrespect women in public places, so Kenny asks if she always complains a lot. Anny corrects him that her issue is that Robert lies, and told her he had three kids instead of five, in addition to making endless empty promises of clothing, an apartment, and any expression of affection whatsoever. Kenny says that he has seven kids, which isn’t normally something you play as clap-back, but okay Kenny. Yes, seven is greater than five.
Anny has had it with them and their apparent plan to overpopulate the planet, and leaves and says that she feels alone. “That’s not the way you talk when you love somebody,” she says, speaking truth.
“Well, my fiancé only loves me on Thursdays. Do you want to get a beer with me and Syngin?” Mike is there for her.
Juliana: In this story, my family appears to be the villains, and this makes me sad.
Michael: I’m rich but my tux doesn’t fit.
On the day of the wedding, Max and CeCe are in conference about the gravity of the forthcoming nuptials, in between mugs of stiff black coffee and plates of almond biscotti.
CeCe: I’m feeling moderately uneasy, due to rigid societal expectations of appropriate age disparity. Surely if this were the era of Ibsen’s “A Doll’s House” this wouldn’t even muddy my mind, but given the unfortunate modern conviction that a second spouse serves as an accessory and not a person, we have some educating to do.
Max: This seems a prudent way to address the offensive tongue of your friend Dakota, who has lived a sheltered life free from parental relationship development and sexual exploration. For now, I’ll simply relish the opportunity to wax poetic on their enduring love once mother has concluded her oratory.
CeCe: I have some concerns about you being assigned this important role, while I am relegated to the background. Is this sibling rivalry? Not very becoming of me, I’m sure.
Max: I validate your feelings of envy, but as the elder sibling I am allotted a generous portion of gloating which will carry all the way into the late stages of my adulthood.
CeCe: Is that when you argue with your wife about 401K distribution while I go to Burning Man in a modified school bus?
Max: Do you bite your thumb at me?
CeCe: I do bite my thumb at you, sir!
Meanwhile, Juliana’s friend Pao is there (no, not that Pao, who is only friends with Juan) along with her friend Cousy, who Juliana describes as like a second mom. Cousy lives in Milan, where Juliana met her during a modeling gig, and she sprung for the ticket to ease Juliana’s loneliness on her special day. In Michael’s wedding prep, we learn that he bought two tuxedos, and decides to wear the one that fits. Juliana wishes her mother could see her in her wedding dress, or was capable of acknowledging her existence when she’s not buying a car for her sister.
A gorgeous clear tent is set up to welcome wedding guests, all but two of which are friends or family of Michael. CeCe is on deck to tell Juliana she looks so pretty, while Max gives Michael a pep talk about toxic masculinity and exploring romantic relationships with an open heart. Cousy then hands her phone to Juliana to share a video she made of messages from Juliana’s friends who want to wish her well. Juliana keeps waiting for a relative to appear in this video, but it doesn’t happen, because apparently Juliana’s family has plenty of narcissists. Or maybe they’re hiding in the wings until the next episode? Either way, the family doesn’t so much as text her, and in the face of this intentional cruelty Juliana starts crying and struggles to stop, thawing the thickest layer of our cold black hearts.
Next time, Jasmin says she doesn’t want to work or smile or breathe, Sasha promises to love his third wife until he doesn’t, Juliana braces to be married by her future husband’s ex-wife, while Syngin finds a friend to mouth “help me” to when Tania is sleeping safely in her coffin.
Thank you Patreon supporters! Follow the link in my bio to bathe in my toxic pool!

I don't know if I can publish this article here, it might be deleted due to copyright, but here it is.
Eva Green on coping with crippling anxiety: ‘I’m very shy… I wish I was a silent movie star’
Gavanndra Hodge25 APRIL 2020 • 5:00 AM
I meet the actor Eva Green on one of those strange, early March days when we are yet to truly understand the implications of coronavirus – when people still hug each other and say, ‘Whoops, sorry!’ afterwards. Which is exactly what Green and I do when she arrives at Clifton Nurseries, a chic garden centre and café near her north London flat. She’s dressed in a black woolly hat, huge black puffer jacket and sunglasses.
‘Let me show you something so scary,’ she says, showing me a passage on her phone from Dean Koontz’s 1981 thriller The Eyes of Darkness, which seems to predict the pandemic with eerie prescience, appropriate passages circled in red.
Meanwhile, Green’s mother, who lives in Paris and to whom she speaks daily, has been telling her not to shake hands with anyone, not even to leave the house. Yet here we are, sitting perilously close, ordering fresh mint tea, ready to talk about Green’s new film, Proxima, directed by César-winning French screenwriter and director Alice Winocour.
In the film, Green plays French astronaut Sarah, who is preparing to depart for a year-long mission. But despite the hi-tech robotics and presence of Matt Dillon, Proxima is not your average space movie; it is not concerned with distant galaxies or alien life forms. The film is about Earth and the things that tether us to it. Sarah is an astronaut, but she is also a single parent; her daughter Stella played by the excellent 10-year-old actor Zélie Boulant.
‘It is a love story between a mother and a daughter,’ says Green. ‘And these people who are going to the International Space Station, all the way to Mars, they will lose sight of the Earth. It is like a self-sacrifice, like a death.’
In preparation for the role, Green undertook an arduous fitness regime with a Russian instructor in Cologne. ‘He was so harsh, treating me like a real astronaut. In the end he was so rude and mean that it became funny.’ She also spent time at astronaut-training centres, like Star City in Kazakhstan. ‘That was my favourite thing. I felt like I had entered a sacred realm.’
The film is a departure in many ways for Green. In Proxima, she is make-up-free, dressed mostly in overalls, dealing with the struggles of a working mother. It is beautiful and solemn – and her performance has been described as a career-best.
Green is probably most famous, though, for her glamorous role as Vesper Lynd in the 2006 reboot of the James Bond franchise, Casino Royale, featuring Daniel Craig as 007. At first she didn’t want to audition for the part (in retrospect, she says she was being ‘pretentious’), but when she read the script, she changed her mind. ‘I thought it was a very strong role. But I didn’t like when they said “Bond girl”. I would say, “I am not a Bond Girl, I am a character.”’
She loved making the film, though: ‘The set was joyous. Barbara Broccoli is amazing, one of the best producers I have ever worked with. I wish they were all like her: passionate, kind, caring.’ Green admits that she has had less pleasant experiences on set. ‘Of course, a lot. It is hard; it is the anti-glamour.’
Eva Green was born and raised with her non-identical twin, Joy, in Paris. Her mother, Marlène Jobert, was a successful actor who gave up her career for her family, and her Swedish father, Walter, is a dentist. It was, Green says, a very ‘Parisian bourgeois’ upbringing. She attended drama school in Paris, followed by a 10-week acting course at Webber Douglas Academy of Dramatic Art in London. ‘It was very intense, in a good way. But because my English was not very good, when I had to do Shakespeare, it was very hard. Often I couldn’t even understand what the teachers were asking me to do,’ she says.
Back in Paris, Green won parts in a couple of plays, but had such a bleak time, getting stage fright and ‘having blanks’, that she considered giving up acting. It was, she says, the Italian film director Bernardo Bertolucci who saved her. She was in her early 20s, when she heard about a Bertolucci audition. ‘I was obsessed with him, obsessed with Last Tango [in Paris]’, she says.
The audition was relaxed, and soon afterwards she was offered the lead role in The Dreamers, an adaptation of a Gilbert Adair novel – sexy and incestuous, and suffused with the riotous politics of Paris in 1968. ‘My mother told me not to do it,’ Green says. ‘She was afraid that I was too sensitive, that he [Bertolucci] was going to be quite violent with me,’ she says, referencing the fact that the actress Maria Schneider had found the making of Last Tango in Paris emotionally challenging. ‘And that it would destroy me for life. I was like, are you kidding? It was the chance of a lifetime.’
The film, which was released in 2003, was a critical success, but did more for Green than simply launching her career. ‘Bertolucci gave me faith in myself. He was like a little angel.’ After seeing her performance, Jobert agreed that she had made the right decision; but the rest of Green’s family found the film’s explicit intimacy shocking. ‘When you are not in the business and you see something so sexual, it is too brutal. I mean, it was horrific for me when I saw it. But I hate watching myself anyway.’
She hated the ancillary elements of being an actor, too, not least the red carpet. ‘I remember my first time. The Dreamers was about to come out. It was an Armani event, and [Martin] Scorsese was at my table. I said to my agent, “I can’t go, I have nothing to tell him!” But then [Giorgio] Armani took me aside and said, ‘We are going to do the red carpet!’
Green still doesn’t enjoy ritzy events, which she says is down to a lack of confidence. ‘I am very shy. It is a handicap. I am never good when there are lots of people. It is a thing from my childhood, I can’t even explain why.’
It is something that she has learnt to deal with, though, by taking herself off to the loo to do breathing exercises to calm herself, and wearing elaborate gowns (her favourite designer is Alexander McQueen) and melodramatic make-up as a kind of armour. ‘It protects me. Because otherwise it is very violent for me,’ she says. ‘I just wish sometimes that we didn’t have to talk, that we were just silent movie stars.’
And here is the conundrum, one that Green herself has said she does not quite understand: why someone so shy (although, one-on-one, drily funny, thoughtful and open) would do a job that is so emotionally exposing, both on screen and off it.
In a 2017 radio interview, Green’s mother revealed that Harvey Weinstein had attempted to physically assault her daughter when she was a young actor in a hotel room in Paris. ‘She managed to escape, but he threatened to destroy her professionally,’ said Jobert. Green has never been keen to go into details about the event, but she is happy to say how relieved she is that Weinstein has been sentenced to 23 years in prison. ‘I am grateful that justice has been served. I praise the brave women who risked so much in coming forward, not only their careers and reputations, but the pain that they have suffered in having to relive being raped in order to put this sexual predator out of harm’s way. Their courage has changed the world.’
This change is something that Green is living through – on the Friday before we meet, she attended the French César awards where Roman Polanski, who pleaded guilty to unlawful sex with a minor in the US in 1977 but fled before sentence was passed (and with whom Green made the film Based on a True Story in 2017), was given the award for best director in absentia, resulting in many of the members of the audience walking out.
‘It was so tense,’ said Green. ‘I have never been in a situation like that before.’ She is enjoying the shift in the power dynamic in the film industry, working with female directors like Alice Winocour, making female-centric stories, like that of the astronaut Sarah, where there is not even a whiff of romance. ‘It is good, and there is still more to do,’ she says. ‘It is so radical – for men it is very hard, they take so many hits. There are very good men.’
One of the best men, as far as Green is concerned, is director Tim Burton, with whom she has collaborated on three films, most recently last year’s Dumbo. There have been rumours of romance between Green and Burton, who has two children with his former partner, actor Helena Bonham Carter, but Green has always denied this, maintaining that their relationship is purely professional. ‘My dream as a child, and later on, was always to work with him. I love his world. He is such a nice person as well.’
Green says she does not have a partner at the moment – her main companion is her miniature schnauzer, Winston. ‘Winston is so clever; very serious, very sensitive. I can’t lie to him,’ she says, showing me a picture of him, looking serious and sensitive in a tartan bow tie. ‘This is how I dress him.’
Green has lived in London since her early 20s, when she got a British agent and promptly moved into their spare bedroom in Primrose Hill. She loves London, but her circle is international – her sister, Joy, lives in Italy, on a vineyard with her Italian count husband and two children. ‘She is very different [to me], very down to earth. We are so different that it might have been a bit tense in the past, but we really get on now.’
When asked to elaborate on these sibling differences, Green considers, before saying, ‘Maybe I am a bit weird? If I mentioned tarot, things like this, she would go, “You are crazy.” So I don’t talk about any of that.’
Green became interested in tarot in 2014 when she was filming the Showtime series Penny Dreadful, a drama set in the Victorian occult underworld starring Josh Hartnett and Billie Piper. Green was nominated for a Golden Globe for her portrayal of Vanessa Ives, a young woman prone to satanic visions and demonic possessions.
‘If it [tarot] is done properly, it teaches you things about yourself. It is fast-forward therapy.’ She does not go to normal therapy, although she did a little when she was younger. ‘But if you have a few tools, you can become very connected.’
Her toolbox includes regular meditation. ‘I am very into this guru at the moment, Teal Swan, who lives in Costa Rica. She does guided meditations that really calm you.’ She also exercises every morning for 45 minutes, sometimes with a trainer, and uses the Wim Hof cold-water-therapy technique, which involves a daily 10-minute cold shower. ‘It is all about the breathing and helps you when you are stressed. It makes you get rid of all that s—t.’
These techniques are a proactive way of managing anxiety. But Green also likes a glass of red wine in the evening (‘Of course. I’m French. I have been doing that every day of my life since I was 18’), going for long walks, taking photographs, and compiling collages of black-and-white images.
She is not on social media – ‘it is very narcissistic and not in a great way’ – and her greatest pleasure is travel: trips to places like Namibia and Bhutan, long walking holidays, often alone. ‘The first day is always quite scary, but then you connect much better with your surroundings, with people as well. Your senses are more awakened.’
The opportunity to travel was just one of the reasons Green accepted a role in the upcoming adaptation of Eleanor Catton’s The Luminaries. Set in the 1860s during the New Zealand gold rush, the BBC Two series stars Eve Hewson, the actor daughter of Bono, while Green plays scheming brothel-keeper Lydia Wells. ‘I love characters like that. You think she is one thing and then you discover that she is something else. Of course she is manipulative, but she is not a baddie. She is a very strong woman.’
Lydia is also an astrologer, another of Green’s interests. ‘I am completely into that stuff.’ Her star sign is cancer, and in July she will turn 40, although there will not be a party. ‘I am not a birthday girl at all. I always want everyone else to feel so good that I cannot relax.’ The fact that it is a landmark birthday is adding to Green’s feeling of unease. We talk about how age brings maturity, wisdom and a sense of acceptance about who we are.
‘That’s true. And then there’s the immediate thing of, “I’m going to get old, what did I achieve, are people still going to desire me?” Especially as an actor, I think, because I’ve always heard that when you reach 40, it is going to be difficult to get roles. What about as a woman: can you still be attractive, do you have children? If you don’t have children, are you kind of a social failure? These are clichés, but people say, “You don’t have children?” and you feel like not a woman when you say, “No, I don’t have them.” It is hard… But then, I feel like I am 12 still and now I am about to be 40. What happened there?’
And yet, she does have a plan… ‘I want to get a farm. I know it sounds like a whim, but it is something that I have been thinking about a lot. Maybe Wales, I love Wales. The scenery is amazing. Sitting in the city, it is choking me sometimes, and there is nothing better than to connect with nature. You feel whole.’
Source: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/life/eva-green-coping-crippling-anxiety-shyi-wish-silent-movie-sta

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There is a wide range of details on the web concerning gambling and also wagering. Just how to begin a gambling internet site, what do individuals bank on, is a wagering exchange much better than a sporting activities publication or gambling establishment internet site, or do customers favor wagering online instead of wagering offline? What is doing not have in most of these blog posts is not the details they give on beginning a gambling web site, however instead specifically where to begin. So Where do you begin, you ask? and also just how do you begin? Would certainly you need financing when thinking about beginning your very own slot deposit pulsa site? Exist lawful mistakes in running an on-line sporting activities publication or online casino gambling site?
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Asking these concerns is just a tip of the iceberg in understanding specifically what you are obtaining right into in running a wagering exchange or any one of the various other gambling sites, yet recognizing the solutions will certainly much better your opportunity or probabilities in running an effective online gambling website. So where do you begin? You can look and also look all over the world broad internet and also collect all the info (very advised) on beginning your very own casino site, running a correct wagering exchange, or on supplying a reasonable on-line sporting activities publication environment to your customers, yet recognizing precisely just how to utilize this info is type in running your clothing.
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Prior to we get involved in exactly how to utilize the info you collect effectively, you might wish to check out a few of these locations if you have actually not currently done so: gambling online forums, gambling establishment web pages, sporting activities site, information web pages on gambling, web pages on the "web gambling guideline act" as well as exactly how it will certainly impact your online internet site, legislations regulating gambling as well as paying very close attention to the days the nation each particular info relate to and more.
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Now you have to be believing this is a little bit to extreme. Yet ask on your own this: do you recognize what each casino player desire, do you recognize what will certainly make them utilize your website over the following Joe web site. Basically you require to recognize the important things that will certainly drive marketers, enrollers to your website (financing) as well as most notably what will certainly drive customers to your website. You can have the very best residence on the block yet otherwise one finds out about your residence or you, well you understand.
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If you have actually seen the recommended headings noted above and also study a little bit much more on gambling as well as the regulations regulating on the internet sporting activities publication, gambling enterprises, online poker spaces and also wagering exchanges and also still dream to proceed after that continue reading my friend, you have actually overcome the very first difficulty. Since we have you assuming outside package as well as have a far better understanding on what remains in shop for you allows deal with the initial as well as really crucial concern you would certainly initially require responded to "Is gambling lawful".
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Currently this is one of the most crucial due to the fact that if you are considering carrying out or running a gambling site in a nation, city, state, district, community, what ever before it might be as well as its illegal. Like syndicate you will certainly be fined or worst you will certainly go straight to prison. Sorry children and also ladies however we require to make one point clear right here being on the internet organisation does not indicate a point to the federal government and also the authorities. You will certainly require to sign up a service or obtain an organisation permit (not the like a gambling certificate), you will certainly require organizing and also you will certainly require a checking account to hold the cash produced from your sporting activities publication, wagering exchange, online poker or gambling enterprise internet site. So learning if gambling is lawful where will certainly be running your company is incredibly crucial.
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To offer you a far better image of points 9/10 preparing to run a gambling site have actually needed to select an overseas procedure. Why you ask? Well that apparent naturally. In position like Costa Rica there are regulations in position for gambling, however there are no legislation versus on-line gambling neither exists a demand for a gambling permit (extra on gambling certificate later on), yet you will certainly once again need to do your research study, if you are serious about running a sporting activities publication or any one of the various other gambling web sites, prepare yourself to collect info. Right here is Pointer # 1 - Talk to an Attorney (a credible one if you can) they will certainly drop a Great Deal Of light on your scenario and also factor you in the appropriate instructions.
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So this brings us to our following inquiry, licensing, and also no its not your chauffeurs permit. A gambling permit is called for to run a wagering exchange, sporting activities publication, gambling establishment, casino poker or any other gambling site a lot of the moment yet not constantly. This is why once more you will certainly require to do your study. However you recognize what they state, when unsure obtain one. That was a joke Joe. If you are truly unclear talk to that legal representative good friend that you spoke with in pointer # 1 regarding this and also any other files you might require to finish this procedure, ask your neighborhood gambling or video gaming authorities/associations in the territory where you intend to run your on the internet gambling internet site for encourage. So keep in mind a gambling certificate is suggested however might not be needed. Pointer # 2 See the neighborhood gambling authorities.
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Now you need to have collected sufficient details to obtain you on the right track and also maintain you out of prison or worst a state jail.
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Allow us discuss a couple of even more vital locations on running your very own gambling web site. You will certainly require some (the a lot more the far better) research study and also advertising to be done. However have not you currently collected sufficient of your very own research study? No Joe. That was simply info event, obtaining your feet damp, being familiar with just how the sector assumes. Do not presume anything. There are policies to every video game, as well as indeed there are policies to running an on-line company as well as specifically a sporting activities publication, wagering exchange, texas hold'em area or gambling establishment. Even if you recognize a little regarding running a site, the policies and also methods transform for every organisation, and also you will most definitely require to understand about these guidelines if you are also imagining coming to be effective in the on the internet video gaming as well as gambling sector. This does not imply seeing all those online forums as well as analyses were for nothing, they will absolutely assist when you prepare to run your marketing and advertising project, you will certainly be greater than pleased that you did.
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If you have actually not currently done a service and/or advertising and marketing strategy this will certainly greater than most likely cause the advancement of one. Being familiar with your target audience, patterns, place, sex, individuals' routines, desires and also disapproval etc will certainly all aid you to progress knowledgeable about your techniques as well as assist in your success. So work with a credible advertising and marketing business or talk to a pal or a person in the advertising area that can drop a little bit much more light on your precise scenario and also factor you in a far better instructions. You do not wish to learn by hand that the marketplace you were targeting does not care a lot for gambling. Suggestion # 3 Obtain correct study done.
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This brings us to our following location of passion "team or group". From your details celebration as well as research study you need to have recognized that ever before if you might intend to make this a one male reveal you will certainly require a group or some kind of team. Currently a group does not imply you need to employ on a full-time team. Also majorly titans like Microsoft, IBM, Logitech agreements of time to time. It simply indicates you will certainly require a bit greater than simply on your own in specific locations. Even if you understand the gambling globe it would certainly be important to get some specialists in crucial locations (even if its awhile) to reveal you some covert areas you have actually not yet covered. You would certainly require a technological a person or an advancement business that will certainly have the ability to take care of any type of issues you might come across, updates you might require for your site, shows you may need, layouts you might wish to offer you that look to establish you besides your competitors and so on. You will certainly more than likely require a bookmaker, bookie, (perhaps greater than one) that understands about bookmaking to establish, upgrade, prepare occasions, lines and also odds on your sporting activities publication, gambling establishment, wagering exchange or casino poker web site. So a group or private team is certainly a must, yet can be cost-effective if you intend appropriately and also think about having. Suggestion # 4 Created an appropriate group.
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Currently we have actually touched a little bit on your site, however what kind of internet site or software application will certainly you need. The following on our checklist will certainly be Software application. First ask on your own what type of gambling web site will this be; A complete Casino site, texas hold'em, Betting Exchange, sporting activities publication or even better why not all? This is where your research study as well as info celebration enters into play, evaluation ask inquiries, talk with your legal representative, as well as make a strong choice. What are the threat variables, that are my rivals, where do you obtain my line feeds from? Those are all concerns that must have been consisted of in your study and also addressed now.
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Afterwards is resolved it is currently time to pick an advancement firm that concentrates on the internet video gaming (even more details online gambling). The majority of otherwise all would certainly currently have items easily offered that have actually been examined and also will typically do alterations to fit your requirements, it is normally even more budget-friendly than having a site established and also created from starting to finish. Software application can vary in costs, anticipate to pay in between EUR 10,000 EUR to EUR 60,000 EUR. Some locations of passion might be: Playtech (Ranked for their Casino site software application), E-Prompt C's BetMore - BetMore Software Application (Ranked for its wagering exchange & sporting activities publication software program), Microgaming (Ranked for their casino poker software application). Idea # 5 Obtain excellent software program.
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Well that ought to be it. Yet allows not fail to remember the last and also among one of the most essential on our checklist "Funding". Sports publication, wagering exchange, casino poker, as well as online casino sites are without a doubt one of the most pricey service procedures you can ever before run, and also this does not alter the truths for an on the internet procedure. You do not require a structure, yet you will certainly require organizing, you do not require vending machine yet you will certainly require software program, you do not require cashiers yet you will certainly require settlement sellers and/or entrances. Talk to your attorney, talk with your advertising and marketing and also study group, they will certainly offer you tips to obtain financing, you will most definitely need cash to run this service continuously, so discover enrollers, capitalists that will certainly companion with you unless obviously you have the cash money and also agrees to utilize your very own cash, Below is a tip you will certainly require greater than simply EUR 500K EUR. Pointer # 6 Obtain financing.
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So you see it's not brain surgery yet it do without stating with my last Idea to you: "Do not stop working to strategy, it would just cause you intending to fall short".

The web's capability to blur limits and society's approval of gambling establishment gambling and sports wagering eventually clarified the disparities and loopholes of American gambling laws. From the makeshift sports book stalls in Nevada, the majority of sports wagering activities moved operations and made use of the possibilities of the online world in the mid-1990s. At present, there are numerous online video gaming websites accommodating sports wagering and gambling establishment gambling based in nations like Jamaica, Costa Rica, and Ireland.
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In spite of overseas-based operations, the lion's share of the earnings and customers of these websites originate from American states. In fact, current research studies reveal that these online gambling establishment gambling and sports wagering websites make more than legal gambling establishments running in Nevada. The earnings of online gambling and wagering websites are approximated at $70 billion for 2005 alone. This is a shocking quantity compared to the reported $2 billion from Nevada gambling establishments. This suffices to topple the three-decade reign of Nevada gambling establishments from the 60's to the early 90's. Thinking about that sports book and gambling establishment websites have actually been running for less than 20 years, they are plainly a risk to the prospering Nevada gambling scene.
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For years, Las Vegas is the only location legal for gambling operations. Atlantic City did the same and made gambling establishment gambling legal; the following years saw the expansion of state lottery games, card clubs, video gaming ships, Indian gambling establishments, and off-track wagering hair salons throughout the country. However still, these advancements are insufficient to take on online gambling. The market of online gambling is not even swayed by strong opposition from legal United States gambling establishments. The gambling laws of the United States of America do not assist, too. They differ commonly from the various states. Many states prohibit all kinds of gambling while some make exceptions. Disparities like these make it simple for online operators to discover and utilize loopholes in the law. The American Video gaming Association keeps a protective stand concerning online gambling. The association promotes federal laws on the policy of online gambling. According to them, the uncontrolled nature of the online gambling market is its benefit over conventional gambling establishments; managing it puts both camps on even footing.
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However in spite of this stand, some Nevada gambling establishments are following the old stand-by: if you can not beat them, join them. November 1998 saw the start of a brand-new pattern; conventional gambling establishments began obtaining off-shore online gambling establishment gambling business to enhance their earnings. An affiliate of the Hilton Hotels soaked up the Australian sports book slot deposit pulsa. Other Nevada gambling establishments followed and this cycle once again generated a brand-new barrage of disputes.
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Contrary to their earlier dislike of the online gambling market, the conventional gambling establishments set their sights greater. They are now pressing the Congress to pass a law that legislates online gambling. This is performed in an effort to lower production expenses; legalization implies that they might now move their operations in the United States. Harrah's and MGM Mirage, the two leading gambling establishments in Nevada and unquestionably owning their own online gambling websites, lead the gambling establishments in asking for the guideline of online video gaming. Plainly, this relocation asking for guideline does not plan to put conventional gambling establishments at par with online websites any longer. The competitors moved in between independent online websites and Nevada casino-owned websites. A transfer to control translates to double revenues for the Nevada gambling establishments.
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Whatever comes out of this brand-new advancement in gambling establishment gambling, players are still guaranteed of their gambling repair. Potentially, if the suggested guideline is authorized, there would be more security in wagering online because it is now under United States laws. Like previously, gambling establishment gambling shows itself to be a vibrant and ever-changing market.

Like I mentioned in other posts, I began working on a retelling of JW three years ago and at the current state, it's around 500 pages long. According to my estimations, it will be finished this summer, the french version at least (I don't think I'm bad in English so the writing of an english version is not impossible for me, it will be quite a big undertaking however and help might be needed). I've shared a link on this subreddit months ago (topic : https://www.reddit.com/JurassicPark/comments/8ftjqo/a_link_to_the_first_two_thirds_of_my_novelform_jw/), where the first two acts of the story are featured (the first half of the third one have been completed on the meanwhile). Near the end of this month, I will put another link for the updated version of Act I, II and a big chunk of Act III (up to Chapter XV)
Here's are the main changes from the movie and some of its features :
- Increased length, more akin to an epic movie (https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/EpicMovie) than your average summer blockbuster.
- A more adult and darker tone, similar to Crichton novels or HBO's Westworld. While most of Act I is quite kid friendly with the park's visit and the characters introduction, the same can't be said for the latter parts of Act II and Act III in its entirety, espacially for some scenes of the latter due to their harsh nature.
- More accurate animals even though if the species introduced in the previous installments keep their appearence while the concept of different versions is discussed in one of the scenes.
- A larger cast and bestiary.
- A different esthetic for the park. While the most remote parts of it have a safari feel akin to what can be seen in Universal's Parks or Jurassic Park itself, the main hub is a ancient-looking city called Burroughs and whose architecture have heavy precolombian and Spanish revival style inspirations.
- Although it is mostly based on JW, it also includes some elements from Fallen Kingdom.
- A 3 Acts structure like I mentioned earlier, with a prologue set at the beginning of the construction of JW in the early 2000's and an epilogue heavily inspired by one of the original novel scenes.
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Here's the list of the chapters :
PROLOGUE : THE END OF A REIGN
ACT I : JOHN HAMMOND'S LEGACY

• Chapter I : A Long Expected Journey
• Chapter II : The Eight Wonder of the World
• Chapter III : Panem Et Circenses
• Chapter IV : Sunset O'er Isla Nublar
• Chapter V : The Merry Iguanodon
• Chapter VI : A Dragon's awakening

ACT II : THE SHADOW OF NUBLAR

• Chapter VII : The Calm before the Storm
• Chapter VIII : From bad to worse
• Chapter IX : On the tracks
• Chapter X : A Feast for Vultures
• Chapter XI : The Ride of the Pegasus

ACT III : THE FALLEN KINGDOM

• Chapter XII : Storm over Burroughs
• Chapter XIII : The Board
• Chapter XIV : The Haunted Mountain
• Chapter XV : The Time of Wolves
• Chapter XVI : The Twilight of the Gods
• Chapter XVII : A Clash of Queens
• Chapter XVIII : Nothing will be forgotten

EPILOGUE
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I wrote on one of the answers of another post that I will post on this subreddit summaries of the finished chapters. Today, I will publish the ones of the Prologue and Act I's chapters. The next ones should come later this month or in the next one.
But before reading them, I think it's better to have a look on this list of the characters I created for this story, to know who is who because some of them are mentioned in the summaries.
InGen Jurassic World employees Regina Powers, public relations director. Jonas, head zookeeper and curator of the large theropods. Lambert Ross, manager of the Merry Iguanodon. Neil Harrimann, control room technician. Ivan Preston, Wu’s most trusted genetician.
InGen Security (the slayers) Gregor Sherman, leader of the slayers. Damian Parker, the youngest of the slayers. Olivia Decker, Sherman's right hand woman. Paco Cortès, a Tun-Si. Nolan Olsen Reynald Faraci Kevin Leng
Board of directors Susan Lynton, vice president. Alistair Iger, public relations director and spokesman of InGen. Dominick Silverman, chief financial officer.
Grey Guard Nublar's garrison Gilbert Brunet, a french ex-mercenary who became a lieutenant in the Grey Guard. Nataliya Darbinian, the russian warrant officer of Brunet’s platoon. Leif Drekanson, a norwegian sergeant in Brunet’s platoon. Erin Laurence, an australian lieutenant. Duncan Glenmore, a scottish lieutenant. Patience Bellamy, an american sergeant in Brunet’s platoon. Julio Velasquez, a costarican recruit. Tamara Durant, an american recruit. Mei Tian, a chinese recruit. Gareth Turner, an english recruit. Ben Rahim, an egyptian recruit. Vincent Chapuy, a french corporal. Percy Baker, a jamaican corporal.
Five Death's garrisons Niall Forrester, a canadian private. Selma Forrester, a canadian private. Zhuge Yu, a chinese lieutenant.
Others Cassandra Landis, journalist.
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Prologue : The End of a Reign
After an opening scroll describing what happened after the San Diego incident and explaining the reasons behind the construction of Jurassic World, the story opens in some misty tropical rainforest and we witness a boa constrictor being preyed upon by an harpy eagle. The bird brings its prey at the top of a large tree and begins to eat but suddenly, a helicopter emerges from the mist, flying very close to the canopy. Said helicopter is actually searching somekind of large creature in the jungle. When the shooter onboard spots its, he informs a ground team about this.
On the ground, a small group of vehicles (the same thant the one used by the hunters in TLW) drives quickly. From a cage which top one of the vehicles, Hoskins lead the operation. He orders his men to stop in a small meadow and to wait for the target which is coming in their direction. As their target, a very large animal, emerges from the jungle, he orders the activation of a ultrasound-producing box. As the animal is bothered by the ultrasound and flees, Hoskins get a glimpse of it while its tails brush past the top of the cage, their target is non other than an adult T.rex. Hoskins order his men to follow the dinosaur and to force him to head in a certain direction. A jeep gets too close to the jaws of the T.rex and angered, the animal rams the vehicle with his head and the jeep barely escape the attack but doing so, it rolls on a big root and crashes. Inside the helicopter, the hunter put darts in his rifle and aims at the T.rex as it is heading towards a field. He misses his shot the first time but as the dinosaur is now in the open, he has a clearer view and this time he succesfully manage to tranquilise the animal which roars. The vehicles exit the jungle and circles the dinosaur, preventing it to go back into the jungle and the hunters wait for the tranquilizer to act. The body of the dinosaur is then put into a large truck by a flying crane. The vehicles used in the hunt are parked next to the truck and the hunters are relaxing while a documentalist is filming them and the tranquilised T.rex. Hoskins congratulates his men for the successful capture. They leave the area, escorting the transport truck, while passing next to decaying electrical fences and driving on one of Jurassic Park’s roads, now partially covered by grass. The Convoy enter the Embrace, a large U-shaped Valley (where the Gallimimus Stampede was witnessed by Grant and the kids in JP), heading towards a tunnel dug in the mountains. They enter and the vehicle emerges in a forested area but as one part of the road was taken away by a landslide, the convoy leave the road and exit the forest. As they are crossing a hilly zone, the documentalist takes her camera to photograph the skeleton of a brachiosaur as the convoy drive past it. Another skeleton is half-sunked in a waterhole and the convoy head towards the south-east, driving past cliffs overlooking a river called the Cartago. A few minutes later, they arrives at a bridge spanning the Rio Iris gorge and pass a portal guarded by armed men. As they are heading towards their destination, they see workers building some construction at the top of a rocky spur. The convoy descends into a valley and arrives in a construction site extending over dozens of hectares where workers and cranes are being busy around the skeleton of large buildings or digging a giant mine-looking hole in the middle of the site. The vehicles split up and the transport truck heads towards a complex delimited by giants walls. While Hoskins is talking with a cheerful Masrani at the other end of the telephonic line, the T.rex is being put in a quarantine paddock connected to its future paddock, still under construction. Nothing seems to threaten Jurassic World's construction.
Night fall and work stop for the day. On a ridge north of the Rio Iris, a female proceratosaurus is watching the camp. She then journeys accross the island back to the lair of her clan, located in the decaying jurassic park visitor center. Among the labs, several nests were built and next to one of them, the mate of the proceraotsaure awaits and together, they watch the first eggs of their clutch hatch.
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Chapter I : A Long Expected Journey
The chapter starts with Zach and Gray arrival in Costa Rica on the 23rd December 2017. They board into a bus at Juan Santamarià Airport in San José, travel to the Pacific Coast and stops at Caldera, a port near Puntarenas, where they enter into a ferry terminal owned by Ogen Cruiselines, one of Masrani’s Global subsidiaries. There, the two brothers board into the largest ship of the company’s fleet, a 200 m+ ferry named The Avalon. When it leaves the harbour, it’s around midnight and the journey to Nublar taking between six and seven hours, the boys spend the night in their cabin.
They awoke the following morning before dawn. As Gray is walking the Avalon’s promenade deck, the ship enters into a thick veil of mist and passes near huge tower-like rock formations. As passengers are gathering on the bow, Isla Nublar slowly appears. The Avalon follow the southern coast of the island northward, heading to the Ferry Terminals, between the coast and a mountain. The passengers disembarks and inside said building, they take a metro that drives them through the mountain overlooking the terminal. They exit the cave and stumble into a narrow pass between the mountain’s spurs. At the end of the pass, their way is blocked by a massive wall that looks straight out of King Kong in their eyes, with a huge gate at its center, flanked by two massive tyrannosaur heads sculpts. A recorded voice, provided in-universe by one certain famous sci-fi actress, greets the newly arrived guests as an orchestral music with choirs plays. The gate finally opens, letting the visitors enter into the park. Behind the gate is Hammond’s Plaza, whose name is drawn from the statue of John Hammond that stands at its center. While Zach meets Zara, Gray goes to the panoramic viewpoint at the end of the plaza, overlooking Burroughs and the 25 hectares lagoon around which the city was built but also giving a view on a large part of the island, including the Cartago Valley, the Misty Monts and, at the northern end of the island, Mont Sibo.
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Chapter II : The Eighth Wonder of the World
After they drop their luggage at their aunt’s house, the boys are bringed by to the Eastern Boardwalk. Since they have to met Claire in the volcano-shaped Discovery Center, they must take said boardwalk and Richard Owen Avenue, both featuring quite a number of shops and restaurants. As they walk in the busy avenue, the crowd in front of them make way to somekind of old-fashioned tramway but instead of being drawn by horses like in Disneyland, they are by mantellisaurs. Stepping out of the mantellisaurs and carriage’s way, they proceed and reach the Obelisk Plaza, cross it and reach the stairs leading to the bronze gates of the Discovery Center, guarded by two life-size giraffatitans stone statues. Entering the building, they head to the spacious rotunda, which main feature is a huge squatch field sized model of Isla Nublar. Claire arrives, chatting with two of her colleagues about the press conference scheduled for the same morning and complaining about a certain Henry. Once the conversation is done, she greets her nephews and talks briefly with them, telling them that since she will be busy all day, she is the park director after all, Zara will watch over them.
Following Claire’s advices, the brothers begins their tour by the zoo. They visit the Children’s Zoo, encountering and feeding with a special kind of granule avimimi, kunbarassaurs, hypsilophodonts and the juveniles of the largers herbivores that populate other attractions, including young ceratopsians which children can ride like shetland ponies ; have a glimpse of a presentation show where a zookeeper feeds a dimorphodon with mice ; passes next to the pachyrhinosaurs enclosure and walks after straight ahead to the Tyrannosaur’s Kingdom. As Gray watch the T.rex feeding, he notices that Zach is texting and Zara is on her phone, seeming to not pay attention the superpredator that is in front of their eyes, underlining the idea that watching live prehistoric creatures have became an experience not too dissimlar from watching a movie in 3D or riding a rollercoaster. This serves as a good transition to the beginning of the next chapter.
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Chapter III : Panem Et Circenses
We come back to Claire as she is in the middle of the press conference that was mentioned earlier, It’s purpose is to discuss about the future of Jurassic World, including the development of its franchise (two others parks are planned to be built in Mediterranea and Southern China) and the direction that the Isla Nublar park will take. She mentions the phenomena of the normalization of cloned prehistoric animals in modern society, explaining that millions of people have seen them live at least once in their lifetime since the opening of Jurassic World, they are all over the internet, and InGen is selling animals to zoos and aquarias worldwide. That brings her to pretend that they need something very unique for their next new attraction, a man-made dinosaur species : The Indominus rex. In a short video, the attraction name is revealed : The I.rex Colosseum, scheduled to open in July 2018. Claire turns to Wu and he answers some of the journalists questions before playing an explanatory video featuring Mr DNA and himself in which they delivers a vulgarization of the process that aims to create entirely new species from scratch. The conference proceeds and ends around 11 a.m.
Leaving the Discovery Center like all the attendants to the conference, Claire brings along with her the envoys of a potential sponsor and they drive out of Burroughs, passing near the Administration building, sitting on the top of a rocky spur like a fortress or a monastery, before entering into a canyon that leads to an helipad at the base of a tall waterfall, the same one that was used in the time of Jurassic Park. Claire and the envoys waits there for the helicopter that will take them to the Colosseum and it lands shortly after. They notice that Simon Masrani is flying the aircraft, he greets them and Claire, surprised by his unexpected visit. They take off and the helicopter then heads north-east first, flying over apatosaurs and corythosaurs drinking in the Rio Iris gorges as one of the Jungle Cruise boats floating down the river and later, in the middle of the Cartago river, a group of baryonyx feasting on the arapaimas that zookeepers on the upper deck of one of the boats are feeding to them. They then bypass the Cartago Aviary, the largest in the whole world, encompassing over twenty hectares and being 200 meters tall at the top of its geodesic dome, and housing several pterosaurs species like geosternbergia, rhamphorhynchus and tupandactylus in a spectacular lush gorge and waterfalls environment. After a passage near the northern summit of the Misty Monts, the helicopter turns west, fly over a group of therizinosaurs, and enters the Embrace (a.k.a Kaaawa Valley for those familiar with the saga’s filming locations) where they see some safari trucks and herds of several dinosaurs, including dryosaurs, gallimimi, triceratops, parasaurolophuses and two mamenchisaurs near which the envoys sees a small group of riders wearing dark green-grey uniforms and watching over the dinosaurs and groups of tourists in the trucks. Masrani turns north and flies over one of the mountainous range encompassing the valley, heading first towards Mount Sibo. As they behold the desolate landscape at the volcano’s foot, one of the envoy ask Claire if they fear the effects of an eruption. She reassure them by saying they have taken every precaution recommended by the consulted volcanologists (i.e digging trenches to prevent fluid lava flows from reaching key installations), that a minor eruption in 2006 have actually attracted people on the island, and telling them that the volcano provides over sixty pourcent of their energy through the geothermal power plant. She points the Colosseum and Masrani lands shortly after on the margins of the construction site.
They joins at its entrance Claire’s colleagues, Wu and the journalists. As they all heads towards the enclosure itself, not located in the colloseum which is only the show area but located further away, encompassing a cirque, Claire and Masrani talks about the conflicts Park Management have with the Grey Guard, saying that if they have delays it’s because of them. The group then meets with Jonas, head zookeeper and large theropods curator, and while he talks to it about the enclosure and its denizen, Claire goes to see what captain Katashi Hamada, the commanding officer of the Grey Guard’s garrison on Nublar and who was waiting for them alongside Jonas, wants from her. Once again, he ask the park director about the large security bunkers needed according to him and his colleagues in case of large-scale disaster. She tells him that they will see that after the press tour and she comes back to the group who has spotted howler monkeys in the enclosure. They are scattered away by a roar from the I.rex. The chimera dinosaur stay hidden behind the thick vegetation of the enclosure. Masrani asks about the second specimen cloned and Claire answers that she was devoured by her sister. The I.rex being the subject of some not-so pleasing surprises, Masrani worries a bit and asks her about Owen Grady’s opinion on the matter. The press tour of the colosseum concludes with a test showing. Masrani, Claire, the envoys and Wu take place in the vip lodge as the groups sit on regular bleachers. Amovible walls and roof began to move, obscurating the sunlight and plunging the arena in total darkness. A portcullis is lift up, letting the I.rex enters the arena. Spotlights project the I.rex shape on the audience.
We cut to the achillobators training scene. It plays very much like in the movie and just like in it, it’s followed by a debate between on one side Owen and Barry, and on the other Hoskins but here, informations on competition existing between InGen and other biotech companies are given (Among other things, a safari park housing animals from the ice age and situated near Toula in Russia is mentioned). During the conversation, Owen receives a text message from Claire, asking where and when she can meet him later in the evening. Again like in the movie, Leon falls from the walkway into the enclosure, albeit in a different manner, but in this version, Owen orders him to stay behind him and they slowly back away from the raptors, following behaviours and gestures that are adopted by nature guides in Africa when confronted to lions and other dangerous game. Owen and Leon manage to leave the enclosure unharmed but the former reprimand the latter, telling him to show himself more cautious the next time before asking him to pay his and Barry’s beers in the evening as a retribution. Hoskins muses about the way Grady managed to have, in his eyes, control over the achillobators.
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Chapter IV : Sunset O'er Isla Nublar
Claire, Masrani and co returns to Burroughs where an contract with the envoys is signed. Before going back to her office, claire pass by the control room for a daily checking. She have a debate with Lowery about the I.rex and the sponsoring around her.
Zach and Gray attends the mosasaur feeding show and once it’s over, as the bleachers brought them down below the lagoon surface, they meet up with Zara and visit the oceanarium, made of not only the mosasaur lagoon but also other lagoons that together forms the big lagoon, separated from one another by barrier reefs that converges towards an underwater mountain located at the very center of the lagoon called Mount Thetis, which houses aswell the submarine tour base. After walking through subaquatic tunnels and viewing galleries, the trio goes back to the surface and passes in front of the nothosaurs enclosure. While Gray is petting henodus in a touching pool (similar in design to the ones that exists in many aquarias and marine animals parks over the world), Zach gets a phone call from their mother, Karen.
After being told by Zach that Claire is not with them, Karen phones then to her half-sister, then working in her office, and they argue about this and other family matters. They coldly ends the conversation and Claire decides to go out on the attenant balcony to relax herself, overlooking Burroughs as she drinks sips of some alcohol glass.
Near 5 p.m, Wu arrives at the hilltop Masrani’s hacienda and him and the indian billionaire talks about the day, with Masrani’s preasing the indominus and Wu’s efforts. They then sits in the terrace and drinks tea as the sun sets and dinosaurs come to drink at a nearby lake. The two soon have a conversation about Wu’s proposal to update some of the oldest species cloned by InGen and begin to slowly replace the old versions individuals by others from new and more scientifically-accurate versions (a scene which is very inspired by the version 4.4 chapter from Crichton’s novel where Wu and Hammond discusses on the same subject). Both debate, with Masrani showing himself reluctant and saying that reaching scientific accuracy is nothing but delusion since new discoveries will make current representions obsolete, making the pursuit of this ideal a never-ending race. Once their conversation on that subject is over, they drink to the park’s prosperity and the future success of the I.rex as an attraction.
In the I.rex enclosure, an old howler monkey is left behind by his troop. As he tries to flee, the I.rex catches and eat it.
Chapter V : The Merry Iguanodon
>! Night has fallen over Isla Nublar but while the animals areas had been closed for most of them, the park is not yet devoid of activity, far from it as both guests and employees goes to dine and entertain themselves in Burroughs restaurants, bars and other leisure places for the evening. Claire is dining with her nephews in the Winston’s steakhouse. While Gray is in the toilets, Claire tells Zach about her conversation with their mother. When they exit the restaurant, Claire ask Gray if he wants to go to the cinema but he declines, saying that he is tired, but the oldest of the brothers that he will stay a bit longer in the area and ask her aunt if there is some nice bar there. She recommends the Merry Iguanodon, where she have to meet Owen a bit later. As Claire bring Gray back to her house, Zach wanders around the Obelisk Plaza, the large pond east of the Discovery Center, the facilities located under the Grand Nublarian Hotel overlooking said pond (among them there is a casino and a cinema multiplex), the Eastern Boardwalk. Following Claire’s indications, he founds the Merry Iguanodon tavern and enters it. Zara bump into him there and she apologizes for the distant behaviour she had with the brothers. Lowery and Vivian, who are friends with Zara, arrives and Zara asks Zach if he wants to join them. He accept and while heading towards them, they pass next to Leon, who is telling his fellow interns his near-death experience with the achillobators. Barry appears in his back and reminds him that he must pay two beers. Leon complies, brings the beers at Owen and Barry’s table and takes his leave from them. The two zookeepers then talks about the potential reasons behind Claire’s need to talk to Owen. Claire arrives in time and she and Owen go outside, while her assistant, the two control room technicians and Zach discretly watches them. After losing a game, Zara have tell to Zach the story of Claire and Owen’s secretive but intense relationship. !<
While talking about Masrani’s request, Claire and Owen goes to the lower terrace and stops there, as a sound and light show takes place on the previously mentioned pond. They end up arguing a bit about the flingy relationship they had a couple of years earlier but they soon focuses back to the inspection requested by Masrani and agrees on a rendezvous time at the colosseum for the following morning, when the I.rex will be subject to an operation whose purpose is to implant into her a new tracking implant. They wish a good evening to eachother and Claire leaves. We come back to Zach, Zara, Lowery and Vivian as they still talk about the latter three’s boss affair with the raptor’s whisperer.
Hamada and two other guards, the Forrester couple, arrives after and go upstrair in a separated room where a non-negligeable part of Nublar’s garrison are off-duty and relaxing. While Hamada sits with the other officers and join them in their game of cards, the two Forresters go to meet the five recruits that incorporated the guard this year. One of them being the niece of a lieutenant stationed in the Five Deaths, they pass her uncle’s greetings to her. Hamada tells his colleagues that Claire informed him that it will be a no for the bunkers he recommanded. The other officers are disappointed and displeaded by the news. After a game of darts, the Forresters and the recruits sits and the couple tells them more about the Five Deaths and the reasons that push soldiers and forces of order members from all over the world to serve in the Grey Guard. The manager of the Merry Iguanodon, Lambert Ross, enters the room and asks what Hamada and the Forresters want to drink. They order but when a waiter arrives with the drinks, a tremor. Being of small to medium magnitude, it’s not strong enough to do any signficant damage and Central America being quite a geologically active region, most of the people on the island aren’t that worried despite being surprised. However, when Roberta unleashes a powerful but plaintive roar, echoeing in all of Burroughs and its valley, Hamada worries since the T.rex didn’t do the same thing before the 2006 small eruption. Sharing with the others the signs they witnessed (odd behaviour from the wildlife and the park’s denizens, worrisome readings coming from the Geothermal Power Plant…), many guards fears than a larger eruption is set to happen soon. Durant, one of the recruits, think it will be the end of the island but Glenmore reassures her by saying that the Sibo isn’t the Santorini’s volcano, Mt St Helens or the Krakatoa while another guard, an amerindian costarican who knows a lot about Nublar’s history, mentions that despite having entering into eruption several times across history, Nublar didn’t exploded or sank into the ocean, and that the only victims of the Sibo were spanish settlers who built their colony, San Fernandez, a bit too close from the volcano. Said colony was destroyed at the end of the 16th century and it being located not too far from where the I.rex Colloseum is being built, the officers fear that the trench whose purpose is to protect the attraction from any lava flows will not be completed in time, making the evacuation of the I.rex a possibility. The I.rex having a bad reputation among the guards, some states that they will let her die if that happen and rants about the Park Management desire to display the largest and viciousest beasts that they can make because they are the one who attracts people on the island. Lambert tells them that Masrani and Park Management have became too confident over time and that most park executives ignores what exactly had to be made to make Isla Nublar safe again. He reveals to the recruits that he worked before as an henchman for InGen Security. He narrates the aftermath of Roberta’s capture, stating that this event wroke havoc among the already fragile ecosystem of Nublar by allowing the smaller carnivores, whose populations were kept in check by the T.rex, to multiply and eat all the herbivores that weren’t captured before turning themselves to the most abundant kind of meat on the island, manflesh. Lambert tells that one night, a horde of proceratosaurs raided InGen’s camp, killing many people and snatching others, This attack marked the beginning of a series of conflicts opposing InGen to the feral predatory dinosaurs : The Saurian War. During that « war », Lambert was badly wounded (he limps and have one eye hidden behind an eyepatch) and spended the rest of the it in an hospital bed. His wounds were inflicted by one of the infamous three gorgons, a trio of dilophosaurs, whose venom half-blinded him. Aside from the three gorgons who were shot after weeks of tracking and some of the herrerasaurs who were captured and integrated into Jurassic World collection, Lambert ignores what happend precisely to the proceratosaurs. Some of them were indeed captured aswell to be put for the rest of their lives in the quarantaine paddocks and still lives but they were only a fraction of their population. How InGen Security dealt with the others is still a mystery and all related informations are classified. After telling his story, Lambert leaves and the guards goes back to what they were doing before the tremor.
Chapter VI : A Dragon's awakening
>! Near half past seven on the morning of Christmas Eve, Lowery goes to work on his bicycle while humming the main theme of Terry Gilliam’s Brazil. He is the first of the control room’s day team to arrive and when Vivian and the rest of his colleagues arrives, he talks with her and some of them about their plans for the evening. Meanwhile, the I.rex is being tranquilised.!<
We then follows Owen as he drives north on his motorbike, towards the Colosseum. He arrives there and meets up with Claire. They enter the construction site and while theye enter the Colosseum and climbs the bleachers, they talk about the I.rex genetic composition and Owen can’t help but to make fun of many things concerning the chimera dinosaur before warning Claire about the ethical drifts that the I.rex creation can create and the fact that they don’t exactly know how her physiology works (they talk mainly about the choosen amount of tranq administrated to the I.rex with Owen stating the same thing that Muldoon says in the novel concerning the amount of tranquiliser to choose with large animals). They arrive near the entrance of the surveillance room, guarded by Darbinian, where he must join Jonas and some of the guards (Brunet, Tian and Velasquez in addition to Darbinian) to start the inspection, wish to eachother merry christmas and he heads to the room. Darbinian lets him pass and he finds Jonas and Brunet finishing their breakfast and the two forementioned recruits drinking coffee. He greets them and as he is pouring himself some coffee, Darbinian teases him about the rumors concerning his relationship with Claire. Owen then asks Jonas and Brunet how the I.rex is and they answers by listing some negative adjectives. Once they are ready, Brunet orders Darbinian to stay in the room and Tian and Velasquez to come with them. They goes down to the I.rex lair where Owen sees gnawed-on bones. Jonas explains him that when the I.rex is fed carcasses, she took them to the lair where she rapidly eat them before gnawing the bones during hours. He leaves Owen and the guards to the inspection and goes to the holding area, where the I.rex is being operated in her indoor enclosure.
The veterinarian administrate the I.rex, whose body is covered with a surgical drape, an anesthetic at the base of the neck, where the tracking device is to be implanted. But as he is ready to cut the skin and the flesh there, he notices that they left the needed hand circular saw in their ambulance. One of his two assistants proposes himself to go to the ambulance and bring it back.
Owen and the guards arrive to the enclosure wall and sees the claws marks on the wall. They tell him that the I.rex often does this, sometimes in front of the guards standing in the miradors, like if she wanted to provock them that way. They head to the wooded area of the enclosure.
As she is looking over the I.rex health record, the assistant that remained with the vet shares with him her concerns, stating that the weight she gaine and her current appetite is abnormally higher from what they expected. The vet ask her if she thinks the I.rex is pregnant before saying it’s ridiculous. They mention the eggs found in the ruins of Jurassic Park during the 1994 expedition and the consequences of the inclusion of west african frog DNA inside the dinosaurs genomes. The assistant brings the idea that the potential offspring of the I.rex might be the result of a parthenogenetic process and adds that since Wu didn’t reveal the integrality of the I.rex genomic composition, they don’t know if he made another mistake by including the DNA of some species able to reproduce itself through parthenogenesis. The vet reassures her assistant by promising her they will do the necessary tests the next month if that can take away her concerns.
In the wooded part of the enclosure, Owen finds a howler’s monkey paw and deduces that it was devoured by the I.rex. Tian wonder why the I.rex had done that since monkeys are way too small to be considered as suitable preys for a dinosaur of her size. Owen answers by stating that she doesn’t do that to feed herself, but in a distraction purpose. He then recapitulates everything they have seen until now and admits to the guards that he is against displaying the I.rex to the public. Brunet proposes him that they go the indoor enclosure to see how things are going there and he agrees.
His other assistant had return on the meanwhile with the hand circular saw on the meanwhile, the vet begin to cut the I.rex skin with but suddenly, a malfunction in the ventilation creates a strong draft that sends sheets flying all over the place. The same assistant that brought back the saw is charged by the other to pick them all. He does this but the other assistant tells him that one of the sheet had slid under the drape, next to their patient head. The assistant goes under the drap and notices that the sheet went under the jaws. He tries to lift them up and not without efforts, he manages to pull the sheet out but after he launched a scream of satisfaction, he hears the I.rex opening one of her eyes. Paralysed by fear, he tries to move or scream to warn his colleagues but can’t do it properly and the I.rex raise her upper lip, revealing her rows of teeth. He finally screams and the vet makes out for the door but a tail swing push him to the ground. One of the zookeepers that was watching the operation at the other side of the enclosure heavy railings, rushes to a panel on the wall to push an alarm button, warning everyone in the vicinity and the control room at the other end of the island. The other assistant rushes to pull out her colleague far as possible from the I.rex head but when she grabs him, the chimera closes her jaws around the lower half of his body, letting the upper half to his victim’s colleague who screams in terror and panicks. While the drap is still covering her, the I.rex stands up. The vet put himself quickly on his feet but seeing that the I.rex stands between him and the man-sized gate in the railing, he exits the enclosure right into the tunnel that connects the arena to the enclosures and taken before by the assistant when he went outside, rushing to the door at is other end. When the zookeepers came back with electroshocking ammo rifles, he is too far away to be within earshot. Grady and the guards arrive aswell and the first go inside the enclosure to get the remaining assistant out of there as Jonas and another zookeeper, standing between the gate and the I.rex, shot on the exposed body parts of the predator. She repels the two zookeepers out the enclosure with a tail blow and swiftly turns, making the medical devices attached to her flies over Owen and the assistant who are forced to crouches down to avoid getting hit, before closing the gate and ramming it with her head to break it and trap Owen and the assistant with her. The two runs to the tunnel, heading towards the same normal-sized gate to which the vet headed. The latter had arrived before it but as he is looking for the keys that open it, he reminds that he gave to the assistant who still had them when the I.rex ripped him in half. The beast roaring at the two humans that are running away from her, the vet fears for his life and through a panel, opens a larger gate in which the small one is integrated and big enough to let trucks pass through. But as he flees outside, he forgets to engage the closing process. Seeing this, Brunet contacts the control room and orders the technicians to close it but Lowery, fearing that he will trap Owen and the assistant by doing so, heavily hesitate. However, the closing process is still engaged. A CCTV footage that Darbinian has done this from the surveillance room in the Colloseum. Owen and the assistant are still running but suddenly the latter collapses on the ground, with a lot of blood pouring out of a wound on her throat. Wondering how the I.rex was able to inflict said wound from a distance, Owen accelerates and rushes out of the tunnel as the door is almost closed. Outside of the facility, a large veil of mist covers the parking and Owen goes to hide under a tipper truck as the door is about to break under the I.rex assaults. Knowing that the I.rex could easily find him because of his scent, Owen cut a pipe and pours fuel all over him. The gate finally fall and the Indominus walk on the parking but the mist is so thick that Owen sees only her feet when she passes near him. The indominus pick the vet scent, who is hiding behind the Veterinary Services ambulance, and as she silently gets closer to him, Owen has only a glimpse of her general shape. When she is close enough of the vet, she brutally throw the ambulance on its side and stand over her screaming prey before shutting up her prey by closing her monstrous jaws on him. Owen stays still under the truck, praying not to be found, but suddenly gunshots are fired, scaring away the I.rew which flees and disappear into the jungle. Once he thinks it’s safe enough to get out, Owen screams to let his presence be known and crawl away from the truck. The guards, zookeppers and J-SEC agents arrives and Brunet asks Owen in which direction the I.rex went before telling the garrison that they have work to do.
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