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Not all "good men" are good men
So there are more good men than ever who are single, and it's the fault of women who are superficial and overly picky. Okay. Of course these men are "good" men. Everybody (men and women, by the way) makes a good first impression. Everybody who posts a dating ad is employed, responsible, and likes to have fun. I mean, who doesn't like to have fun? What about your co-worker? He's a good guy who takes care of himself. He collaborates well, and he's a great conversationalist. You always meet up with him on your lunch break and you are completely baffled that he's still single after all this time. You can't wait to introduce him to any single female acquaintances you may meet. You. Have. No. Idea. how this man behaves in the context of an intimate relationship. Employability is not an indicator of relationship suitability. My sister's husband is a social butterfly with a wide circle. Everybody likes him. (On further analysis, he's actually a materially generous pushover.) His friends have no idea that he actually has trouble regulating his emotions on an adult level. Nobody's perfect, of course, and everybody works around that in their multi-generational household. My father was a "good" man. Most men from his culture of that generation were. The requirements women were taught to seek out were: employed, industrious, no drinking, no smoking, no gambling, no womanizing. After a few dates, my mom realized that he had a few screws loose (suicide threats, etc.) but since that's not on the dealbreaker list, she caved into societal/familial/peer pressure to marry him anyway. That set me up for a lifetime of abuse. Evidence of his abuse is recorded in 2 separate places, and I guess I'm lucky he's never been arrested because my childhood was stable. There is a trail of women working in customer service who were visibly creeped out by him, but not enough to call security. Friends and acquaintances have no idea, of course. My parents are still together because they're too cheap to divorce. My uncle - his brother - makes an excellent first impression. He is industrious, with a Mensa IQ and a quick wit. White women pursued him and my Asian auntie baby-trapped him at a time when women could get away with it and men caved. You'd have no idea he is an overbearing d-bag. Which is why he can't hold onto a job. Right now he's back in the old country and the whole family has been pretending for decades that the separation is temporary. I hear he's kind of a con artist, too. Let's tell a tale from the other side....the family I grew up across the street from, I'm sure the mother made an excellent first impression for her husband, too. But I didn't like her. She's a bitchy busybody who blows up and curses up and down the street on the slightest slight. But she's estranged now from this one son who, before he left, screamed, "you always make everything all about you!" Oooh, there were also a man who would not hesitate to advertise himself as a "good man" who attends BLM marches and the like. He also has a history of stalking and harassing women, and was almost fired from his job in academia for it. It reminds me of another story somebody told me: "I went on a few dates with a human rights activist. But those human rights did not apply to me." The "inexplicably dateless good man" problem has more layers than a clickbait title will have you believe. It requires digging into the guts of interactions in an intimate relationship that nobody has the time to get into. You see how some of the 40% of divorced Boomers seem to be normal, functioning adults? You have no idea what dysfunctions they have, or what personality tics made them so incredibly incompatible with their spouse over time. And then there's people like my parents who ought to be divorced but are not for cultural reasons. And for every single man there is a single woman, and perhaps what's going on right now is that a woman's unsuitability for a relationship is more obvious, especially since women in today's society are encouraged to advertise these unsuitable qualities on grounds that nobody is allowed to shame them for it anymore, while a man's unsuitability takes time to reveal itself. Oh, and don't bother replying to argue that you are genuinely a "good" man/woman who came from a good, loving family. I believe you already, so save your breath. Or maybe I don't believe you, since we humans all have our blind spots when we self-assess. It doesn't matter because this is the Internet, and I don't have the means to get to know you. Or you probably are already in a good relationship so you're not reading this anyway.
What Feminism Forgot: The Glass Floor is Far More Important Than The Glass Ceiling
From the very beginning, feminism has focused on shattering the so-called glass ceiling. That invisible barrier that keeps women from becoming CEOs, doctors, lawyers, President, and all those other exciting, rewarding, glamorous careers. Feminists looked at that content housewife from the 50s, taking care of her husband and children, and told her that she was oppressed. That if she was unshackled from her oppression, she could become President one day. Believing them, women joined the feminist movement in swarms. And after 50 years of amazing gains, they're unhappier than ever, and certainly unhappier than their housewife mothers. What happened? Simple. Feminism's exhortations to be "independent" was a lie on two fronts: one, that being a housewife was oppression, and two, that if she wasn't she could become President. Let's examine both in detail.
We all know the stereotype of the 50s woman: staying home, taking care of the kids, not having her own career, having dinner ready for her husband when he got home, and spending her free time watching soap operas and having tupperware parties with other housewives in the neighborhood. Feminism came up with the supposedly radical idea that women could work just as much as men. But here's the thing: that's not a radical idea. Indeed, throughout most of history, women (along with children), worked like dogs, just like the men. What was radical was the idea that a woman could stay at home and *not* work, without having the family starve as a result. Before the industrial age, pretty much *everyone* worked from sunup to sundown, plowing the fields, tending cattle, or anything else, in order to grow enough food to feed their family, with very little left over for any sort of "luxuries" like shoes or meat. This included old people who would work until they keeled over (retirement wasn't really a thing), and kids as young as 2 or 3. Outside of a very small class of aristocrats, everyone else had to work fulltime just for the very basics of living. With the industrial age, men and women still had to work, this time in dangerous factories, to keep their families solvent. The only people who got a pass were kids who now could wait until 7 or 8 before joining the factory, and old people, who were kicked off the assembly lines when they were too weak. Indeed, for the vast, vast majority of human history, men and women worked their butts off (albeit often in different jobs) to keep their families afloat. As productivity improved, fewer people needed to work, but women were the last to be freed of this responsibility. First, child labor laws meant children could go to school and avoid working until 16-18. Next, social security and pensions allowed old people to spend at least a few of their final years in a reasonable retirement. Finally, women were able to stay at home. And it was only for a few decades that productivity rose so high that something previously inconceivable could be possible: in an average family, a single wage could now support 6 people: 2 parents, a husband and wife, and 2 kids. Contrary to feminist thought, the novel idea was not that women could work, but that they could be afforded the privilege of staying home and caring for the family. And even that was not universal. Plenty of women (about 1/3rd) worked in the 50s/60s. Most of them were in lower and working class groups, where a single wage was still not enough to live on. What's more, even the housework that was remaining had become so much easier: in the old days, cooking meant threshing the wheat, gathering the water from some distant stream, churning butter, and sitting over an open fire breathing smoke for hours in order to make some tasteless gruel. Similarly, washing clothes meant taking them to a river and pounding them on a rock for an hour. By the 50s, advances in cooking, laundry machines, etc. meant that actually tending house took so few hours of the day that they had to invent a new form of entertainment to occupy the rest of the hours. Thus soap operas and tupperware parties. Any woman who thought being a housewife in the 50s was tantamount to slavery while watching soap operas every afternoon has no idea what their own mothers and grandmothers had to go through just a few generations ago. So this was the first lie that women were fed: rather than celebrate their newfound freedom, they were told that being "forced" to stay home was a sign of longstanding patriarchal oppression, and that progress was to throw that away and join men in the workforce. No one bothered telling them that that was exactly opposite: progress was allowing women to stay home (just like children and elderly were allowed out of the workforce in previous years), and joining the workforce was the actual historical oppression that most people tried to avoid if at all possible. 2. The second lie was that if women would just leave their comfortable home lives, they would all have the type of glamorous careers that they dreamt about. Feminists never told them the truth about work, something that men have known forever (and women knew, until they stopped working and forgot): the vast majority of work is largely soul-sucking drudgery, not some empowering, glamorous work; being beholden to a boss or (worse) some faceless bureaucrat in a distant corporate HQ for your monthly paycheck, career development, and daily marching orders is hardly a picture of independence; and the only reason to submit to such torture is to put food on the table for your family, not to "actualize your innate awesomeness" or some other BS propaganda that bosses talk about. Sure, maybe it's more fulfilling to be a doctor and save countless lives than it is to raise 2 well adjusted kids and have a happy home life. But how about being a secretary, answering angry phone calls all day? How about being a janitor, sweeping floors every night? Are they really more fulfilling than raising a family? I don't mean to disrespect secretaries and janitors. Their jobs are absolutely needed. But none of them are under any delusions about how "empowering" it is to deal with Karens asking to speak to the manager, or scrub the toilets after the cafeteria has its weekly Taco lunch. Most of them do it because they need the money, and then try to get meaning in their lives from everything else they do, whether it's raise a family, be a good friend, win the local bowling league's championship, etc. And there are far, far more secretaries and janitors than there are doctors (also, if you talk to most doctors, they'll tell you how disillusioned they are by the profession, which turns out to be just as soul-sucking and frustrating as most others; they have one of the highest suicide rates of any career and many of them long to leave the field as soon as they save up enough money). Feminism tells a woman that the only thing keeping her from being a CEO, or doctor, or lawyer, or multi-million dollar jetsetting humanitarian crusader / fashion icon (or whatever BS dream job women think exists) is the Patriarchy. But that's not true. If it was, then every man should be one of those. It's not like the garbageman never had dreams of becoming an astronaut. But the truth is, even for the vast majority of men, such careers are out of reach and were probably never within their reach due to a combination of their innate intelligence, social support structures, economic factors, and sheer dumb luck. The same applies to women. The only reason guys still sign up for those thankless jobs is because there is no alternative for us. There's no rich woman waiting to marry a poor unemployed guy to raise a family with and share a life together. But no guy is foolish enough to think that it's "liberating" to spend your days filling out TPS reports while being beholden to some pointy-haired boss who can fire you whenever the company's profits take a dip. 3. There's a common belief among the Left that racism is what the Right uses to keep poor white people and poor black people from uniting under a common economic cause. By keeping them divided and thinking each other is the enemy, they can avoid action against their corporate and Wall St. donor class. If that's the case, then the Left has used feminism to do the same: keep poor (i.e the 99%) men and poor women from uniting under a common economic cause to take action against the Left's corporate and Wall St. donor class (largely the same as the Right's donor class). Feminism taught women to view men as the problem rather than The Man. And it achieves the same purpose as racism for the Right. And they do it the same way: the racial strategy is to convince a white man the reason he's poor is because a black man took his job, and not the fact that thanks to lax labor laws and favorable trade agreements, the job actually went to an illiterate 12 year old in China, with the CEO keeping the profit. Similarly, feminism says what's keeping a woman from having financial security / happiness / fulfilment in her life is her husband "forcing" her to stay at home, and she should instead depend on the vagaries of Corporate America to provide her those benefits. Just like a racist says "I may be poor, but at least I'm not black" (meanwhile he has to play dancing monkey for his corporate masters to keep his paycheck), a feminist says "I may be unhappy but least I'm not dependent on a man" (meanwhile, being utterly dependent on her corporate masters for that "independence"). It's not a coincidence that wages in America began to stagnate in the 70s, just as women began to enter the labor force in larger numbers. Under the guise of feminism (and civil rights, see my note below), there was a huge new influx of available workers. Of course that will lower wages. 4. Now, all of this would be fine, *if* it increased women's happiness. That is, if women were truly unhappy or oppressed at home, and found greater happiness or got closer to their life's goals, by working, then feminism would be fine. After all, no man is entitled to his job, and if a woman can outcompete him for it, then so be it. But women's happiness has gone down, because it was a lie: only a tiny, tiny majority of jobs actually deliver enough intrinsic worth, challenge, respect, etc. that they beat the fulfillment and satisfaction that comes from raising a family. That's true for both men and women, but only men knew this. Their hope was that, if they put their noses to the grinder and worked hard, they could provide for that family, and if they married the right woman, she would raise that family well, and that joint life's work would be something both could cherish for the rest of their lives. As long as that possibility was there, men would be willing to break their backs (literally, as they disproportionately take the most dangerous jobs) to get it. The bargain offered to men in the 50s/60s was this: "yes, most likely your job will be boring / dangerous / etc, but in exchange, you will earn enough money to marry a good woman and raise a family with her. And in the end, that will bring you fulfillment, not the job." The bargain wasn't easy, but at least it was an honest offer. Feminism offered this bargain: "yes, your mother was happy staying at home and raising a family, but you can do better. Sign up with us, and your career will give you even more happiness and fulfillment than your mother had raising a family." Or, at the very least, they promised that you could have both an amazing career *and* the same family life that their mothers had. Unfortunately, most women didn't read the fine print on that bargain, which read: "a) <1% of you will get those jobs, because they're exceedingly rare and hard to get into; b) by signing this deal, you sign away your chance at the happiness your mother had, because you will be so busy building and then sustaining your career you won't have time to build a family life". IOW, by signing up for this deal, women agreed that they were either going to be part of that 1% with great, satisfying careers, or be left without the safety net of at least having what their mothers had: financial stability (through a husband), a family, and a life partner who, for all his faults, was still better than being alone. How many of us play the lottery with our life's savings? That's what feminism fooled women into doing, and they bought it. And now, the ones who gambled away their safety net chasing that tiny fraction of careers are looking around wondering why they're even worse off than their "oppressed" mothers. But it gets worse: feminism altered men's bargain too. Because now, men simply can't find a good woman to raise a family with, and even if they do, rising divorce rates and biased family courts mean they might lose their children and spouse regardless. So all of a sudden, the bargain they signed up for doesn't hold either. As a result, lots of men are asking "why am I working so hard and risking my physical safety if I can't find a good wife and raise a family anyway?" And deciding to go for an easier job which provides just enough for them to live a single life and make peace with that. In the end, neither men nor women are happy with the choices they're now offered. Even the married ones now have to work 2 jobs to provide the same standard of living that 1 job used to provide before. Interestingly however, Corporate America is tickled pink about having doubled labor availability (while paying for the same standard of living as before), neither one now having a safety net, making them even more reliant on their bosses. NB: FWIW, I believe the civil rights movement to end racial discrimination for jobs was different, because access to those jobs *did* make lives better for black people. If a black man couldn't get a job, neither could his black wife, which meant the whole family was condemned to poverty. So allowing him (or her) to get a job was a net increase in their happiness and financial stability. But white women already had financial stability and happiness: through their husbands. Feminism was just asking them to transfer that dependence from their husband to their boss (ironically, usually also a man), while telling them they were becoming "independent". While Corporate America no doubt benefited from the influx of labor when minorities were allowed to compete for jobs, at least it did provide a net increase in happiness for those minorities (of course, the real solution would be to grow the economy and provide more jobs for everyone). There is no reddit full of black people wishing they could go back to being sharecroppers. Like I said before, if feminism did the same thing for women, increase their net happiness, then I would accept it as well, but it didn't. 5. tl;dr summary: 1) The glass ceiling, ie the barriers to having a glamorous, fulfilling career, exist for everyone -- men and women-- and have always existed, and *will* always exist, even if The Patriarchy is demolished, for the simple reason that those jobs have always been rare and ultra-competitive to get into. If you demolish one barrier, another one will come up, because there just aren't enough of those jobs to go around for everyone who wants one. For every company that employs 100,000 people, there is only one CEO. For our country of 300 million people, there is only one President. Break all the barriers you want, it won't make the constitution allow for 2 Presidents. 2) In contrast, the glass floor for women has been gradually raised higher, to where women in the 50s/60s could avoid work, have financial stability, raise a family, have a life partner, and still have time to watch soap operas (or pursue other avenues of personal fulfillment like volunteering, reading books, developing hobbies and interests, etc.). 3) Feminism offered women the chance to break the glass ceiling, in exchange for removing the glass floor that acted as their safety net. 4) Women, having been out of the workforce for a generation, forgot how crappy most jobs were, and how few and far between the glamorous careers actually were, and took that deal. They were aided by feminists telling them that the only thing standing in the way of them becoming President was the men in her life (her father, her husband) keeping her down, conveniently forgetting that 150 million men also will never become President, because the bigger obstacles are things like class and money: every President for the past 30 years has come from an Ivy League school; here's the list from 1988 until this year (counting re-elections): Yale, Yale, Yale, Yale, Yale, Harvard, Harvard, UPenn. Also, here are the law schools of all of the current 9 Supreme Court Justices (men and women): Harvard, Harvard, Harvard, Harvard, Yale, Yale, Yale, Yale, Notre Dame. Gee, looks like Patriarchy is the real problem, right? 5) After taking the bargain, women then dedicated their best years to "building a careeer" as feminism told them that handing over your 20s/30s to a faceless company or (worse) paying an immensely wealthy University to take those years from her, was more "empowering" than dedicating those years to a man who loved her and would in turn dedicate his life to her. Because, you know, that career would be far more fulfilling than anything that oppressive, patriarchal man would give her. 6) After a few decades, many (most) women realize that they could not, and will not, crack the glass ceiling (turns out it's made of bulletproof acrylic, designed by the ones above it to protect themselves from the ones below, both men and women), and that the jobs they managed to find provided less economic security, fulfillment, or happiness, than the glass floor they gave up. 7) Meanwhile, men have been damaged too, since, with fewer women interested in focusing on building a family and being a good life partner, they're wondering why they need to work so hard at those same jobs. So now, fewer men are available who are willing to provide what their fathers did for their wives. 8) Thusly, having crashed through the glass floor, forced to work a soul sucking job to put food on their table, beholden to a boss less interested in their welfare than the most uncaring husband ever was, the vast majority of women have actually regressed: less happy, less secure, less fulfilled, less independent. Yet rather than recognize the failed ideology that brought them to that unhappy place, they double down on their assumption that men are the source of their problems while simultaneously crying out for us to rescue them. Funnily enough though, for a winning socialist movement, corporate profits are up...
New account to this sub and wanted to share my story
I'm not sure what I am seeking to be truthful. Apologies for this being a long post Our (41F, 43M) journey started 23 years ago. There have been multiple D-Days in this time period. However it really picked up when we moved in together and got the Internet installed. I didn't know the extent until a few years later when I was pregnant with our first child. He was using porn on the computer every time I left the house. When I found out, I confronted him about this and he assured me he would stop. I discussed this with a friend and they assured me it was completely normal and to try and get on board with it. I gave this some thought and decided as I was exceptionally HL during my pregnancy, that I would ask him to watch it with me. He readily agreed to this. I set the boundary that this was something we did together and not as individuals. He agreed to this boundary. We started watching it, but I discovered that I was completely turned off by what I was watching and I was only turned on by him. I told him that this wasn't something I wanted to continue with and that we should stay away from it. Fast-forward 18 months, our child is coming up to their second birthday. I had been looking what to get for him and remembered something from a few weeks previous. One night when SO was asleep, and hours spent looking for this website, I couldn't remember the name of the page so checked out the history. Everything had been wiped from it. Confused, I downloaded a program to retrieve the history. Bam, there it was, page after page of porn. Again I confronted him and he said he would stop. He didn't. It continued every time I left the house. A few months later, I sent him back to his parents as I just couldn't cope with it anymore. He came back after a few days and seemed set on changing. At this point I was diagnosed with lupus and was very sick for sometime; thoughts of his porn use dwindled away as I tried to get better for our child. Today: I have spent the last 20 years telling myself that it was my problem and it was something I would have to deal with, because 'all men use porn'. I have invested so much into our relationship. I got a degree so I could get a better job and continued to have lupus flares whilst raising our 3 children. If feel like after trying to be ok with it for so long that I have done my bit. Its his turn now. We were supposed to be all-in, and working together to improve ourselves and our relationship. The most recent D-Day was in the last week, along with us almost separating last summer, and then finding out at the end of 2020 that he was also gambling. I feel like everything has hit me all at once. He isn't gambling anymore and is working on building my trust. I thought we were moving forward and then this. He has always known my feelings on his using porn, but I feel absolutely crushed. Every shred of trust I had in him is gone. I tried so hard to help him with his issues last summer, including him changing career. I have supported him financially and tried to be the best partner that I can. I feel he has just thrown it all back in my face. My self-esteem is at rock-bottom as I feel completely unworthy of his honesty and transparency. Its the lies and secrecy that does it. I am usually HL, but atm I feel completely no-libido. He is trying to be tactile and I'm not sure I want him to touch me. Although he has always known that porn is a deal breaker for me, I don't think he ever really understood my feelings. He is trying so hard to build trust, but, I don't know this side of him and I don't trust it. I feel like I have to get to know him all over again. If you love someone, how can you lie and keep things from them that you know they will hate? Are my feelings even relevant as long as you get your fix? I haven't asked for access to his phone (he used pornhub on there) as I feel I would be invading his right to privacy, but how do I rebuild trust in him? Can I ever trust him again? I want to make sure he can't access it ever again, but the constant policing is exhausting. How do I trust just his word alone? I just don't know how to put myself back together again. I feel completely betrayed, and my trust and faith in him is something he though could just be thrown away and got back easily, like my feelings, anxiety and mental health are completely disposable and have been for the entire 23 years we have been together. I have told him that this will be the last time. I couldn't survive this again. He has joined lots of subs to help himself out of this, including this one to give him some perspective of how this affects the spouse. If you got this far, thank you so much for reading. Any comments and/or advice is most welcome.
So the drama around me is like dominos. I feel as though everyone is having problems and they've decided now is the time for the shit to hit the fan. Everyone except my parents, whose only problem is that they're gross. I fell asleep in the basement the other day and got woken up by Paris because she was hearing something strange. We only needed to be on the first floor to find out the strange noises were my mother and father fucking like rabbits, in jacuzzi. Ewww... They don't even have the decency to have any shame. They know they were heard, my dad did not care. He even tried to dab me when I tactfully brought up that there were 'sounds'. My mom was even more brazen, saying not to project my unhappiness on them and that it's good to have a lively sexlife with your spouse. Pops added that if it bothered me I could stay in a hotel, but they aren't going to make a point to pussyfoot around me in they own house. Which is fair. But still gross. My dad joked that I shouldn't be upset, that his stroke is why I'm here in the first place. I literally almost lost my breakfast. Paris has been an unwanted shadow. Who has been following me around and spending time in my space. She was upset this morning when I took Poppy out on the trail and told her I'd like it if she wasn't there for that. I had called my Aunt Joyce about it, and she seems to think me and Paris always got a long. I asked when that was and again I'm being told that apparently from the outside looking in me and Paris were 'close'. No, me and Paris were not close. Paris was a spoiled, entitled, twat, who always got in trouble or into situations and then would come beg me or Bast to come bail her out. Incidentally, since she is a witless follower, most of the situations she got in and asked for help ended up being some shit her sister was in too, and I hated helping her sister by proxy. She was still in highschool when I went to college, so I think her memories of that time are askew and her mom is only ever referencing a few extreme instances. I've had to beat up two boyfriends. I have had to bail her out of jail. I drove all the way back to get her on prom night when London had a threesome with her prom date. Not her and London, but London and her date and London's date, they were brothers. That was another guy who had to be punched in the mouth. London still never forgiven me for that. Those boys were twins too. In fact, London has a history of taking boyfriends or guys Paris likes and also getting her into situations. Probably the worse is when I had to come get Paris who was high on something and London refused to leave the party. That one I tattled on cause it was serious. But don't feel sorry for Paris. She made her own decisions. Was always really stuck up and nasty to folks, like my uncle, Bryanna, and was just generally thinking she was better than everyone and always sided with and covered for London no matter what that bitch did. Even times I had helped her or covered for her Paris has turned on me. She literally is only your friend when she needs something. So my actions in the past are out of obligation. Danny never needed that kind of help with people, so I only got to be 'brotherly' to this idiot and only because she was in frequent need of having some sense slapped into her. This is the same girl who didn't come to my wedding, because London didn't want to go. Kept my uncle from my graduation and spent years talking shit about me to her loser friends and claiming we were not 'family'. So I don't want anyone to @ me because I'm not foolish enough to feel sympathy for her now that her world is caving in because she was a spoiled bitch to my uncle. I however tolerate her to extent because I'm a fond believer in having current ammunition. I can't shoot her now for past shit, but she'll eventually do something, I'm certain. Plus mom says I can't kick her out if she hasn't done anything and keeps telling me I'm just frustrated with women right now and taking it out on her. I don't think so, but I'm hedging my bets. So when my Mom who knows what and who Paris and London are forced me to take her a long with me, I was pissed. My walks on the trail with poppy are sacred. These are my paths, my time. Poppy ain't got many years left and before Poppy, I took Whisper on these paths. It was an intrusion on my special time. The time i get to sit and think. Especially with Valentines day coming up, I just wanted to gather my thoughts. But nope, I got this life tumor I don't want to address following me around and asking my questions. She asked about Valentines day and if Amy was coming. I told her no, and I didn't wanna talk about it. She asked if I was getting a divorce and what happened. Luckily no one has told her shit and I wasn't gonna. Shit'd be on instagram and twitter so fast. I just told her we're taking a break. She feigned concern and said me and Amy were such a 'good couple' and I snapped at her. What the fuck does she know. She got real quiet and I was cool. Halfway back she gets to asking me why I'm so mean to her, and that she's 'trying'. I got a little defensive and I'll admit that I probably was yelling at Amy and not her, but I couldn't really help it. The whole 'trying' thing triggered me. You're trying? Why the hell does everyone want to 'try' after they fucked up. How come no one wants to 'try' before being a disgusting bitch? You're trying now that the possibility of losing your meal ticket and the happy life you didn't appreciate is coming to fruition. I told her she never deserved my uncle and she and her whore of sister are thankful he was a soft touch for all those years. He forgave and tried and forgave, and they never changed. They just used him. I told her that venom came my way and I legitimately tried to be cool with her spoiled ass when we were younger. Danny did too, cause we ain't close to our other cousins cause they all ghetto. My dad was the one that made it, a self built success story. His siblings and cousins hated him cause though he the other woman's baby, he looked the most like they dad, and he was smart. People like Paris treated my dad like shit and he worked a long time to gain they love and approval and they just used him. Uncle Brad was the only one who was good to him, good to us. The rest of them only wanted to talk to dad to borrow money and use him. Our cousins resented us cause we 'thought we were better than them'. No we didn't. We wanted to be friends but your parents animosity toward my dad made you treat us like shit. So when Uncle Brad married Joyce we thought, maybe we would finally have cousins we would be close to. Instead they were the same type of Vampires as the rest of them, only white and more stuck up. And they stole our Uncle. The only Uncle that fucked with us and they abused his love and kindness and you don't get to say; 'Oops, I'm sorry.' She a grown as woman. She did this shit for years. Even after reaching the 'age of reason'. She knew what she was doing was wrong. What you gonna do, blame it on London. Treated Bryanna like shit made fun of her hair, how she was mixed. Had that girl feeling worthless and like she wasn't pretty enough. Bryanna got all kinds of self confidence issues. With London and Paris being nasty little trolls, bullying her, breaking her toys, talking shit to they friends and her friends. And I'll NEVER forgive London for shouting out; 'I thought doves were white!' in the middle of her school play. Poor girl ran off the stage and I wanted to punch her in fucking face. Paris just giggled a long with her sister. I told her she and her sister were fucking monsters. That I'm sure she was going through her shit. That like every woman who does dirt and geeked themselves up to be vile, there's an oh so sad story to tell. I told her that it doesn't change the fact that she was a spoiled cunt and rather than wasting time pretending not to be, she should probably embrace her shit. The world is full of douchebags and assholes, either those born that way or those who become that way to survive. I feel like she should fucking get used to it and stop pretending to have a conscious. And of course she ran off crying. I refuse to go after her. I refuse to be emotionally manipulated. I went back to the house and thought about working out to deal with my frustration, but instead I ate. We got these Wisconsin Maid hot polishes and I made four of them and at them with ketchup and bacon and onion Jam. That along with metformin and glipizide do not mix, so I was in the bathroom with the Switch for most of the day. When we got out, Paris hadn't come back. I had gotten a call from Mimi. But I just deleted that. I instead called Bast, who again has not really returned my calls, which is kind of pissing me off. I don't know what's going on with him, but it feel like he ducking me. I wanted to call Danny, but I didn't really know if I wanted to hear from her. I texted her but she said she was at work. So I just called Other Doug and spent an hour venting about everything. Abouts when it was getting dark I realized Paris had not returned. I only knew she hadn't gone home cause her phone went off when I called it. And I hadn't seen London come get her. Which, by the way, London has Paris' car cause London gave her car to her dad for him to destroy. So I took Poppy out again to try to find out if she went somewhere or was still outside like an idiot. One guess to which she did. So apparently she'd spent the hours outside crying over at the little Gazebo by that fake lake thingy. White folks get ghastly when they out in the cold too long. She was almost blue. Her jacket was insufficient cause stupid people wanna be cute instead of warm. I give her my jacket. My Bomber jacket, and take her ass back to the house. She ain't really talk to me and I'm just trying to hold on to my anger so I don't feel sorry for this idiot. Got her inside told her she needed to change clothes. Told her to go get something from Danny's room. I tossed her wet shit in the wash and made some hot cocoa. I was feeling slightly guilty, so I made 'My Hot Cocoa'. Which is really my dads. Whole milk that has had cocoa pebble sitting in it for a bout 5 to 8 minutes, condensed milk, 3 kinds of melted chocolate, Milk, white, and dark, some cinnamon, nutmeg, a little coffee mix, some salt, a little whip cream and a sprinkle some crushed up cocoa peoples from the top. I didn't make myself one, though I really wanted to, but I had already been gambling with my blood sugar for the day. I told her to come down to the basement and I gave her my heated blanket. She was still crying and said she just wanted me to like her again. I told her that ship sailed a long time ago. And I told her just because I can be nice to her and I don't want her to freeze to death doesn't mean I want to be her friend, let alone family. I told her I believe people always expect to be forgiven. That's why they always so loose with they actions. It's why she felt like she could be bitch to everyone. Somewhere deep down she felt like she was young and she could make up for it later. That you would grow, change, and not be that way. They you had time to change and improve. I told her she does. But the people who will benefit from it is the miraculous future people who never knew what kind of monster she had been. And she'd have to work very hard to maintain it, because people don't change. People can improve, but the truth is, with no real consequences for their actions, people don't change. People have to fail. They have to lose, they have to lose big. It's not about whether or not they deserve it. Which she most certainly deserves it. It's about destroying their illusions that they can take something for granted and make up for it later. She asks me if that was how I felt about my wife and it took me by surprise. I got angry and asked her what she knew and why she was snooping on my business. She claimed she didn't know anything, but that it's obvious something is really wrong if I'm home and she's not. She says I always talked about my wife and that we were always texting, or chatting, when we weren't together or calling. She hadn't seen any of that or me mention her at all so it's obvious there's something wrong. I told her that was my business and not hers. But to be honest I do feel the same way. I didn't say more to her about it, but if I'm being honest, a lot of me wants her to be punished and lose everything cause I feel that would be better for her. She'll get it right with the next guy. She won't learn her lesson if she is forgiven. Most people don't. I love her to death but I can't reconcile my belief that people don't appreciate anything until they have to pay the price, until there's no going back. Human beings are fundamentally selfish and short sighted. Paris hugged me and cried and apologized. She said she wanted to apologize for everything. She said she knew what she was doing was wrong but she did it anyway cause she thought it was more important to be a twin than to be good to us. That London had her convinced that Uncle Brad was just pitying them or pitying Auntie Joyce and that he was gonna abandon them after he had had his fun with Joyce like all the others had, and Dad would come back. Apparently their Dad would leave, Joyce would move on or try, and the guy would get tired of Joyce, her kids, or both, and leave and they Joyce would get back with their father. London had been trying to force this to happen with Uncle Brad and London claimed she didn't need to be nice to us cause we weren't going to stick around, cause Uncle Brad wouldn't stick around. Paris said she felt that way sometimes, then time would pass and it would be obvious that wasn't going to happen, so she would try to connect, but London would make it out like she was betraying her. London got really bitter when Bryanna was born, and was obsessed with this idea of they dad coming back. Paris admitted what we all knew. Uncle Brad was more of a dad than her own father and that he was around much more. She claimed that she had been trying to make up for it since she got to college. Her relationship with him had improved and she even called him dad. She hadn't been being bad to him and Uncle Brad and her had talked this out. Uncle Brad was just mad she was skipping class and going to parties, but she just wanted to stay with London, because according to her, London was Wild'n Out. Apparently London's new boyfriend, Douchbag Chad, had a reputation. More than one girl has claimed that he has gotten them drunk at parties and forced himself on them. He was into her and wanted to date her, but when he started getting interested, London swooped in and stole him like she does with all the guys that are interested in Paris. She said she had been trying to make things up with Bryanna, but Bryanna is really bitter about it. She says Bryanna listens to her talk and then asks; 'If she's done?' and then walks away. I told her that if I was Bryanna I wouldn't forgive her either. She said she wanted to reach out to me for a long time, since she started college, but no one would give her my number. My dislike is common knowledge, even though she told my mom several times that she wanted to make up with me. Which explains why my mom hasn't thrown her out at my many request. I told her that I can't really forgive her. She hasn't done anything to be forgiven. You got to put the kind of time into fixing something that you did fucking it up and I don't think anyone is going to give her that time. She asked me what it would hurt to let her try. And I said my pride. My self respect. She was quiet for a long time and drank her cocoa. Gave me a compliment on it, which I Han Soloed her ass. Cause, 'I know'. She then said something strange. That I didn't have to forgive her. But she wanted to keep trying. That I didn't have to care about her or her problems, but she wanted to prove, that she's not who she was and who people think she is. I told her I really got my own situations to deal with. I don't need her baggage. She said no, but I obviously needed to vent. And if all I needed was a punching bag, then she would just be that. I told her what I needed was to be alone and not have crazy selfish women fucking up my chill. She insisted that being alone is the last thing I needed and that she would like to stick around, if only to have someone to yell at when I'm frustrated. Saying, 'She knows she deserves it.' I told her again it was a free country, but I wasn't planning on 'making nice' with her. She pointed to the hot cocoa and said that it was nice and that I'm a good person whose always trying to be a mean one and she's sorry for her part in making me that way. I told her she's flattering herself if she thinks I think about her and her bullshit at all when I'm at home. Again she asked me if I was going to play BOTW and if she could watch. It's supposed to be a free country and I did want to keep any eye on her. She didn't look all that well still kinda blue and veiny. So I told her yeah, but I didn't really wanna talk about this stuff anymore. I also warned her if she brought up Amy again I would throw her back out into the cold. She did the little key lip thing and I scowled. The rest of the day was uneventful. I spent most of it in the basement playing Botw with her hanging around. Thankfully not a lot of talking. Mom came home and made Pad Thai with no chicken and fake egg. I wanted to to talk to her about knowing why Paris was hanging around, but she told me she was planning for Valentines day with Dad and told me if I wanted to talk I could, but she was picking out outfit and lingerie for the occasion. Which is her way of saying, I'm not talking about this, go away. So, yeah, eww... I will talk to them about it on Monday.
31 [F4M] US/ Anywhere - Looking for a lifelong, old fashioned relationship
There's a spot on the dining room's wall that's always moldy in spring. Probably because the apartment faces the sea. Though it's not really too close to it. The molds just keep coming back the next day after being removed. Somehow it just reminds me of a documentary I watched on Netflix weeks ago, Dancing With The Birds. The birds in the documentary all tried, day after day, to find someone. They just don't give up. Just as resilient as the moldy spot on the wall. I wanted to see if you are here.
I once got an internship at a company in a neighborhood I am not familiar with. I asked a friend of mine, who did an internship there the year before, about where I should avoid and things like that. Then she was like, "My boyfriend took care of everything for me. I think he um...." I asked my next door neighbor the same question because he got an internship in the same neighborhood I did. The first thing he said was, "If you can't figure things out on your own I don't think you should do an internship at all." For some reason the conversations I had with them still strikes me even until this day. People rarely care. People rarely understand. Even rarer to have someone who both cares about and understands you. Most people don't give a shit about the fact that you are in a bad spot. Some people might say, "Oh man I am sorry that you are in such a bad spot." A few people might pause whatever they are doing and offer you some help. Only one person, or maybe two or three, won't go until they get you out of the bad spot. I would like to be that person for my SO.
I just started watching Fargo. The second season. I looked up the cast of the show before I started watching it. Kristen Dunst is in it. When I was younger I heard people making fun of Dunst's teeth. I felt really bad for her. In an interview she did in 2019 she told the reporter that she was asked by some producers to have her teeth fixed, but she refused. Though she probably had dental work done at some point because her teeth do not look the same as before. I wondered what would have happened if she never had it done. And why can't we even accept an actress with "imperfect" teeth. David Bowie also had crooked teeth which he later fixed. I have heard many people claiming that his teeth did not bother them. I wondered if they would have said the same if it is just some random person with crooked teeth. I would be sad if their logic went like, the more talented a person is, the more crooked their teeth I could accept. My friend had a car accident in London some years ago and that messed something up. I am sure some men would have chosen to leave but hers did not. Her husband did not tell her to fix anything. A side note, fixing and repairing, in a relationship, are some essential skills. I do not want to be with someone who constantly thinks about jumping ship. Though we all know that some mistakes are simply beyond repair. "Would it be so bad if I slept with this girl, only once, behind my wife's back?" Yes, it would be over. I would like to find someone who not just likes the beginning of things but also the things after that. Someone who I could share both the best and the worst years of my life with. And, you know, someone to watch Fargo with.
What I am looking for - Short version (there is a long version, with explanation, follows) - A single, monogamous, adult (stop asking me for an age range. If you can get married without your parents’ approval, you are welcomed to message me) man who is looking for a lifelong relationship, has time to be in a committed relationship, will become my best friend, is in shape/ not too out of shape, is reasonably healthy, is mentally healthy and stable/ mentally unhealthy and unstable but has been monitoring the progress, mentally available, is a meat eater, is a non smoke rarely smoke, is a non drinke social drinker, is a non drug addict (weed is fine), is a non gambling addict, is a non porn addict, is a virgin/ non virgin but was always responsible to their exes (always wore condoms and never had STDs), is okay with no cohabitation, is okay with no premarital sex, is not into anything kinky, wants kids (biological kids/ adopted kids), is okay with your spouse not taking birth control pills, is okay with your spouse not wearing an IUD, is debt free/ with justifiable debt, is religious/ non religious, is eligible to apply for a passport (and meet each other) If you do not agree with everything I said above then we are not compatible. “I agreed with most of the things you said.” What does that even mean? I have had enough messages telling me that they do not entirely agree with what I said but would like to see where things go. The answer is nowhere. I do not have time nor do I want to build a castle on sand. I also have had enough messages telling me to reconsider things. I won't. What I like - Sun Snow Trees Woodworking Agriculture Plants Good food Hot food Hot soup Warm words Laughing Wool yarn Wool clothing Names with stories, say like, street names Dining wares Trains Photography Old stories - old movies and shows Good stories - movies, shows and documentaries, books, music with good lyrics Good arts Thrift stores Flea markets What I am looking for - Long version - A strictly monogamous relationship that is happy, healthy, supportive, and lasts forever. I am not looking for dick pictures, chat buddies, dirty chat buddies, hookups, love affairs, friends, friends with benefits, sugar daddies, sugar uncles, sugar sons, rebound dating, short-term dating, several years dating, polyamorous, open, or online-only relationships. Communication - I would make time to talk to my SO every day, and very much prefer so, even just to hear that they are safe and sound. But I would be understanding if they are out in Antarctica and the satellite Internet at the work station does not always work properly, or something like that. I would like to deal with all the hardships in life together as a team. Having arguments in a relationship is somewhat unavoidable. I like straightening things out, right away, in a logical, non violent, and non abusive way. I apologize when I make mistakes. Giving silent treatment is really not my thing. I am not saying that I do not have a temper. I do. I do get angry, but within reason. Keeping promises and being punctual are important to me. I always say “Gotta go” when I need to end a conversation. Mental health - The amount of toxicity I could take is arguably higher than average, but please alert me if you are struggling mentally. On a side note, I hope you do not like watching porn. It is a poor choice, and is both physically and psychologically damaging. I am not asking everyone of you to agree with me on this, or any other things I say in this post. Whatever floats your boat, strangers; just let me have the freedom to find whatever I am looking for. Distance - I am not looking for an online marriage. Future faking is a fucked up thing to do to another person. If you need nude pictures, phone sex or Skype sex to make a long distance relationship works, I am not the person you are looking for. Meeting for the first time - I have given this a lot of thoughts, still I do not really know when and where would be good to meet up. We could meet either before we go into a relationship or after. It would probably be fairer for us to fly to a foreign place to meet, it means we would have to trust each other enough to do that. In that case it would make more sense to meet after the relationship has already been established. Also we would have to deal with this whole “OMG covid is deadly!” thing. I think it is doable to fall for someone just by talking. Though I am aware that people are often not who they claimed they are. Those who say they are loyal could be experienced cheaters. But we will see. When in doubt, I ask questions. Marriage - I have never been married but I would like to get married. The last thing I want is a divorce. The word marriage has sort of become a dirty word now but I am old fashioned. I like relationship labels, and I hope you are the same. A side note, I'm not into having a big wedding. Or a diamond ring. Or to dress fancy for a pre-wedding shoot. The National Gallery of Art has three self portraits of a Hungarian photographer and his wife. I would like to have a wedding like theirs. Which means I would just like to hang out with my SO somewhere, take some pictures ourselves, and call it a wedding. If you never had a proper family, fear not, we would have one on our own. However, having a toxic childhood should not be an excuse for exhibiting toxic behaviors. I would never set myself on fire to keep you warm. It would not help. Sex - It would be too intimidating if you have had unsafe sex, a lot of sex, or many sexual partners in the past. And I do not want to be intimidated. Don’t give me that classic “oral sex/ cyber sex is not really sex” BS. Premarital sex is off the table. People make fun of those who have never had sex, which I do not get. I do not have a past, and would strongly prefer someone who also does not. It seems fairer that way, and in that way I would not have to grieve over your past. But, then again, grieving is a part of life. It is alright if you are not a virgin, just do not lie. I do not really have a sex drive. Mentally speaking, I would be okay if you never wanted to have sex, I would also be okay if you wanted to have a lot of sex. Because I do not specifically crave for sex; I crave for love. In other word, I count all types of affection as a whole, and sex does not specifically stand out from all the rest. Physically speaking, I would not be compatible with those who have a high sex drive, as I think overindulgence in sex is destructive. I am not really a robot, and so daily sex sounds off putting as fuck to me. I would not be compatible with those who are into kinky sex/ filming sex tapes, also. There is nothing wrong with those, they are just not my thing. I think having boundaries in bed does not mean I do not love them, or love them less than those who have no boundaries. I would never take birth control pills/ wear an IUD, because they have many side effects that I do not want to deal with. Respect my choices. Kids - I do not have kids. But I would like to raise kids. Ask yourself, honestly, if you are mature enough, and ready to be a father. "But I am not ready, just yet; there are things I want to achieve before I become a father." Find someone younger, then. I would like to add that I have no reason to doubt my fertility as I take reasonably good care of myself. I have no, and never had any, chronic diseases or illnesses. Am at a healthy weight, somewhat slim even. 5 feet 7 inches tall. In the event that I was infertile, surrogacy would not be an option. It goes against my morals. So, again, think twice. I would like to raise adopted kids, and treat them like they are my biological kids. I would not dump my husband if, he was found to be infertile at any point of the marriage. Technically I would be okay if you do not want to raise kids at all, but providing a home for some orphans is something I could do, and I do not want to pass that on. Living together - I have always, and still am against the idea of living together before marriage. There is nothing wrong with cohabitation, it is just again not my thing. I would gladly introduce my roommate when I was in school to you if you are worried that I have some weird quirks. I might or might not bribe her before I introduce her to you. Living with parents - Sure, I would not think less of you. There are reasons why people choose to live with their parents. Cars - I do not care whether you have a car or not. Money - I am not rich, and was not born rich, but I have no debts. Never had debts. I am aware that some debts are justifiable, like student loan. I worked in the academia. I just started doing something new, related to my field of study, and that makes me happy. Whether you are a postdoc, or a high school drop out, makes no difference to me. For those who think that throwing me a sentence like “I am a lawyer” would be enough to make me talk, have some self respect. I am fine with my Reddit inbox collects only dust. Religion - I suppose I have always been mostly an agnostic. My parents sent me to a Christian middle school, then a Christian high school. It would be great if you are a God believer and do not mind me being a non religious person. We could read Bible together. It would also be great if you are a non religious person but follow traditional values. Smoking, drinking and doing drugs - I do not smoke cigarettes. Or vape. Or whatever. I do not do soft/ hard drugs. Have no past addictions. I do not take over-the-counter drugs even. I do not drink alcohol. If you drink responsibly, then I do not have a problem with that. Dietary choices - I am an omnivore. Have no food allergies. Please be a meat eater. I do not want to get into an argument with you over a tuna egg sandwich I make for our kids. I would not raise my kids vegan. They should be able to make their own choices when they are old enough. I like cooking quite a bit. Would learn to cook all your favorite dishes. Pets - I do not have any pets. Gaming - I do not gamble. I have never played any video or computer games. Game soundtracks though I do often pay attention to. Tattoos - Sure, why not? Earrings - Why not? I would buy you earrings. Long hair - Why not? I would braid your hair when you are asleep, though. Politics - I am against communism, and totalitarianism. Trump 2020. Please read my reddit history. I pretty much stopped using this account altogether, except posting on Foreveralonedating, because this account has 33 male followers, and that is creepy, and makes me feel very uncomfortable. But my reddit history should give you a hint on what kind of a person I am. (Update: 68 followers now, which shows you how disgusting and creepy some, if not most, men on this site are.) P.S. This is Reddit, a wonderful yet utterly dangerous place, strangers. Especially for women. So many people prey on the weak. Even scammers would spend an hour writing and tell you that “you are everything I have been looking for since forever”. I laughed out loud at “I would relocate for you but it depends on where exactly you are” messages. “I am 100% (insert a race here), and I couldn’t aim to have kids with a wife who isn’t (insert a race here).” messages are laughable. Don’t bother, kiddos. The only time I accept people bringing up the skin color thing is when it concerns our adopted kids, if you understand what I mean. Canned messages are easy to spot, because I am smarter than you imagined. There were people who messaged me from throwaway accounts, which I noticed later filled with porn posts. Accounts with no post history are fishy. Anyhow at some point let's do a photo verification. Maybe we could take a selfie while holding a piece of paper with something like "Today's February 33 1920" written on it. Thank you all for sending me a selfie right off the bat. But I do not trust you enough to click on it. Also please do not ask me to talk to you over the phone/ do a video chat with you right off the bat. If you absolutely do not know what to write, check out "pinned post II", there's a list of 30 questions. I talk to one person, if even there was one, at a time. TL;DR - I am a non religious person who holds traditional values and beliefs, which for obvious reasons give me a hard time these days. If you see this post, message me, no matter when.
31 [F4M] US/ Anywhere - Looking for a lifelong, old fashioned relationship
“Physical attraction is important. So I’d want to have a picture of you. If I don’t like how you look, I would not respond.”
I mean, you don’t always get what you want. I was on some dating site for a while. I had maybe 4000 likes. I don’t know if that’s a lot, or not much. Have never compared the number with another girl. I should point out that I didn’t upload a proper picture of mine because I had no desires to help improving their facial recognition system. Also because their rules sicken me. “Only frontal pictures of your face are allowed”. Oh okay. One day I noticed that they had my profile picture removed. And warned that if it was being removed repeatedly, the whole account will be banned altogether. I deleted my account the same night. Beauty, to me, is plainly objective. Some people are good looking. And some people are ugly. Which is okay. It’s basically just lottery. Don’t blame yourself. Don’t blame your parents. At the same time beauty is largely subjective. Your personality and brain should be enough to make up for your shortcomings in your appearance. “Find someone who loves you for who you are”, your looks, personality and brain all included. While your looks being the least important one.
There's a spot on the dining room's wall that's always moldy in spring. Probably because the apartment faces the sea. Though it's not really too close to it. The molds just keep coming back the next day after being removed. Somehow it just reminds me of a documentary I watched on Netflix weeks ago, Dancing With The Birds. The birds in the documentary all tried, day after day, to find someone. They just don't give up. Just as resilient as the moldy spot on the wall. I wanted to see if you are here.
I once got an internship at a company in a neighborhood I am not familiar with. I asked a friend of mine, who did an internship there the year before, about where I should avoid and things like that. Then she was like, "My boyfriend took care of everything for me. I think he um...." I asked my next door neighbor the same question because he got an internship in the same neighborhood I did. The first thing he said was, "If you can't figure things out on your own I don't think you should do an internship at all." For some reason the conversations I had with them still strikes me even until this day. People rarely care. People rarely understand. Even rarer to have someone who both cares about and understands you. Most people don't give a shit about the fact that you are in a bad spot. Some people might say, "Oh man I am sorry that you are in such a bad spot." A few people might pause whatever they are doing and offer you some help. Only one person, or maybe two or three, won't go until they get you out of the bad spot. I would like to be that person for my SO.
I just started watching Fargo. The second season. I looked up the cast of the show before I started watching it. Kristen Dunst is in it. When I was younger I heard people making fun of Dunst's teeth. I felt really bad for her. In an interview she did in 2019 she told the reporter that she was asked by some producers to have her teeth fixed, but she refused. Though she probably had dental work done at some point because her teeth do not look the same as before. I wondered what would have happened if she never had it done. And why can't we even accept an actress with "imperfect" teeth. David Bowie also had crooked teeth which he later fixed. I have heard many people claiming that his teeth did not bother them. I wondered if they would have said the same if it is just some random person with crooked teeth. I would be sad if their logic went like, the more talented a person is, the more crooked their teeth I could accept. My friend had a car accident in London some years ago and that messed something up. I am sure some men would have chosen to leave but hers did not. Her husband did not tell her to fix anything. A side note, fixing and repairing, in a relationship, are some essential skills. I do not want to be with someone who constantly thinks about jumping ship. Though we all know that some mistakes are simply beyond repair. "Would it be so bad if I slept with this girl, only once, behind my wife's back?" Yes, it would be over. I would like to find someone who not just likes the beginning of things but also the things after that. Someone who I could share both the best and the worst years of my life with. And, you know, someone to watch Fargo with.
What I am looking for - Short version (there is a long version, with explanation, follows) - A single, monogamous, adult (stop asking me for an age range. If you can get married without your parents’ approval, you are welcomed to message me) man who is looking for a lifelong relationship, has time to be in a committed relationship, will become my best friend, is in shape/ not too out of shape, is reasonably healthy, is mentally healthy and stable/ mentally unhealthy and unstable but has been monitoring the progress, mentally available, is a meat eater, is a non smoke rarely smoke, is a non drinke social drinker, is a non drug addict (weed is fine), is a non gambling addict, is a non porn addict, is a virgin/ non virgin but was always responsible to their exes (always wore condoms and never had STDs), is okay with no cohabitation, is okay with no premarital sex, is not into anything kinky, wants kids (biological kids/ adopted kids), is okay with your spouse not taking birth control pills, is okay with your spouse not wearing an IUD, is debt free/ with justifiable debt, is religious/ non religious, is eligible to apply for a passport (and meet each other) If you do not agree with everything I said above then we are not compatible. “I agreed with most of the things you said.” What does that even mean? I have had enough messages telling me that they do not entirely agree with what I said but would like to see where things go. The answer is nowhere. I do not have time nor do I want to build a castle on sand. I also have had enough messages telling me to reconsider things. I won't. What I like - Sun Snow Trees Woodworking Agriculture Plants Good food Hot food Hot soup Warm words Laughing Wool yarn Wool clothing Names with stories, say like, street names Dining wares Trains Photography Old stories - old movies and shows Good stories - movies, shows and documentaries, books, music with good lyrics Good arts Thrift stores Flea markets What I am looking for - Long version - A strictly monogamous relationship that is happy, healthy, supportive, and lasts forever. I am not looking for dick pictures, chat buddies, dirty chat buddies, hookups, love affairs, friends, friends with benefits, rebound dating, short-term dating, several years dating, polyamorous, open, or online-only relationships. Communication - I would make time to talk to my SO every day, and very much prefer so, even just to hear that they are safe and sound. But I would be understanding if they are out in Antarctica and the satellite Internet at the work station does not always work properly, or something like that. I would like to deal with all the hardships in life together as a team. Having arguments in a relationship is somewhat unavoidable. I like straightening things out, right away, in a logical, non violent, and non abusive way. I apologize when I make mistakes. Giving silent treatment is really not my thing. I am not saying that I do not have a temper. I do. I do get angry, but within reason. Keeping promises and being punctual are important to me. I always say “Gotta go” when I need to end a conversation. Mental health - The amount of toxicity I could take is arguably higher than average, but please alert me if you are struggling mentally. On a side note, I hope you do not like watching porn. It is a poor choice, and is both physically and psychologically damaging. I am not asking everyone of you to agree with me on this, or any other things I say in this post. Whatever floats your boat, strangers; just let me have the freedom to find whatever I am looking for. Distance - I am not looking for an online marriage. Future faking is a fucked up thing to do to another person. If you need nude pictures, phone sex or Skype sex to make a long distance relationship works, I am not the person you are looking for. Meeting for the first time - I have given this a lot of thoughts, still I do not really know when and where would be good to meet up. We could meet either before we go into a relationship or after. It would probably be fairer for us to fly to a foreign place to meet, it means we would have to trust each other enough to do that. In that case it would make more sense to meet after the relationship has already been established. Also we would have to deal with this whole “OMG covid is deadly!” thing. I think it is doable to fall for someone just by talking. Though I am aware that people are often not who they claimed they are. Those who say they are loyal could be experienced cheaters. But we will see. When in doubt, I ask questions. Marriage - I have never been married but I would like to get married. The last thing I want is a divorce. The word marriage has sort of become a dirty word now but I am old fashioned. I like relationship labels, and I hope you are the same. A side note, I'm not into having a big wedding. Or a diamond ring. Or to dress fancy for a pre-wedding shoot. The National Gallery of Art has three self portraits of a Hungarian photographer and his wife. I would like to have a wedding like theirs. Which means I would just like to hang out with my SO somewhere, take some pictures ourselves, and call it a wedding. If you never had a proper family, fear not, we would have one on our own. However, having a toxic childhood should not be an excuse for exhibiting toxic behaviors. I would never set myself on fire to keep you warm. It would not help. Sex - It would be too intimidating if you have had unsafe sex, a lot of sex, or many sexual partners in the past. And I do not want to be intimidated. Don’t give me that classic “oral sex/ cyber sex is not really sex” BS. Premarital sex is off the table. People make fun of those who have never had sex, which I do not get. I do not have a past, and would strongly prefer someone who also does not. It seems fairer that way, and in that way I would not have to grieve over your past. But, then again, grieving is a part of life. It is alright if you are not a virgin, just do not lie. I do not really have a sex drive. Mentally speaking, I would be okay if you never wanted to have sex, I would also be okay if you wanted to have a lot of sex. Because I do not specifically crave for sex; I crave for love. In other word, I count all types of affection as a whole, and sex does not specifically stand out from all the rest. Physically speaking, I would not be compatible with those who have a high sex drive, as I think overindulgence in sex is destructive. I am not really a robot, and so daily sex sounds off putting as fuck to me. I would not be compatible with those who are into kinky sex/ filming sex tapes, also. There is nothing wrong with those, they are just not my thing. I think having boundaries in bed does not mean I do not love them, or love them less than those who have no boundaries. I would never take birth control pills/ wear an IUD, because they have many side effects that I do not want to deal with. Respect my choices. Kids - I do not have kids. But I would like to raise kids. Ask yourself, honestly, if you are mature enough, and ready to be a father. "But I am not ready, just yet; there are things I want to achieve before I become a father." Find someone younger, then. I would like to add that I have no reason to doubt my fertility as I take reasonably good care of myself. I have no, and never had any, chronic diseases or illnesses. Am at a healthy weight, somewhat slim even. 5 feet 7 inches tall. In the event that I was infertile, surrogacy would not be an option. It goes against my morals. So, again, think twice. I would like to raise adopted kids, and treat them like they are my biological kids. I would not dump my husband if, he was found to be infertile at any point of the marriage. Technically I would be okay if you do not want to raise kids at all, but providing a home for some orphans is something I could do, and I do not want to pass that on. Living together - I have always, and still am against the idea of living together before marriage. There is nothing wrong with cohabitation, it is just again not my thing. I would gladly introduce my roommate when I was in school to you if you are worried that I have some weird quirks. I might or might not bribe her before I introduce her to you. Living with parents - Sure, I would not think less of you. There are reasons why people choose to live with their parents. Cars - I do not care whether you have a car or not. Money - I am not rich, and was not born rich, but I have no debts. Never had debts. I am aware that some debts are justifiable, like student loan. I worked in the academia. I just started doing something new, related to my field of study, and that makes me happy. Whether you are a postdoc, or a high school drop out, makes no difference to me. For those who think that throwing me a sentence like “I am a lawyer” would be enough to make me talk, have some self respect. I am fine with my Reddit inbox collects only dust. Religion - I suppose I have always been mostly an agnostic. My parents sent me to a Christian middle school, then a Christian high school. It would be great if you are a God believer and do not mind me being a non religious person. We could read Bible together. It would also be great if you are a non religious person but follow traditional values. Smoking, drinking and doing drugs - I do not smoke cigarettes. Or vape. Or whatever. I do not do soft/ hard drugs. Have no past addictions. I do not take over-the-counter drugs even. I do not drink alcohol. If you drink responsibly, then I do not have a problem with that. Dietary choices - I am an omnivore. Have no food allergies. Please be a meat eater. I do not want to get into an argument with you over a tuna egg sandwich I make for our kids. I would not raise my kids vegan. They should be able to make their own choices when they are old enough. I like cooking quite a bit. Would learn to cook all your favorite dishes. Pets - I do not have any pets. Gaming - I do not gamble. I have never played any video or computer games. Game soundtracks though I do often pay attention to. Tattoos - Sure, why not? Earrings - Why not? I would buy you earrings. Long hair - Why not? I would braid your hair when you are asleep, though. Politics - I am against communism, and totalitarianism. Trump 2020. Please read my reddit history. I pretty much stopped using this account altogether, except posting on Foreveralonedating, because this account has 33 male followers, and that is creepy, and makes me feel very uncomfortable. But my reddit history should give you a hint on what kind of a person I am. (Update: 68 followers now, which shows you how disgusting and creepy some, if not most, men on this site are.) P.S. This is Reddit, a wonderful yet utterly dangerous place, strangers. Especially for women. So many people prey on the weak. Even scammers would spend an hour writing and tell you that “you are everything I have been looking for since forever”. I laughed out loud at “I would relocate for you but it depends on where exactly you are” messages. “I am 100% (insert a race here), and I couldn’t aim to have kids with a wife who isn’t (insert a race here).” messages are laughable. Don’t bother, kiddos. The only time I accept people bringing up the skin color thing is when it concerns our adopted kids, if you understand what I mean. Canned messages are easy to spot, because I am smarter than you imagined. There were people who messaged me from throwaway accounts, which I noticed later filled with porn posts. Accounts with no post history are fishy. Anyhow at some point let's do a photo verification. Maybe we could take a selfie while holding a piece of paper with something like "Today's February 33 1920" written on it. Thank you all for sending me a selfie right off the bat. But I do not trust you enough to click on it. Also please do not ask me to talk to you over the phone/ do a video chat with you right off the bat. If you absolutely do not know what to write, check out "pinned post II", there's a list of 30 questions. I talk to one person, if even there was one, at a time. TL;DR - I am a non religious person who holds traditional values and beliefs, which for obvious reasons give me a hard time these days. If you see this post, message me, no matter when.
31 [F4M] US/ Anywhere - Looking for a lifelong, old fashioned relationship
There's a spot on the dining room's wall that's always moldy in spring. Probably because the apartment faces the sea. Though it's not really too close to it. The molds just keep coming back the next day after being removed. Somehow it just reminds me of a documentary I watched on Netflix weeks ago, Dancing With The Birds. The birds in the documentary all tried, day after day, to find someone. They just don't give up. Just as resilient as the moldy spot on the wall. I wanted to see if you are here.
I once got an internship at a company in a neighborhood I am not familiar with. I asked a friend of mine, who did an internship there the year before, about where I should avoid and things like that. Then she was like, "My boyfriend took care of everything for me. I think he um...." I asked my next door neighbor the same question because he got an internship in the same neighborhood I did. The first thing he said was, "If you can't figure things out on your own I don't think you should do an internship at all." For some reason the conversations I had with them still strikes me even until this day. People rarely care. People rarely understand. Even rarer to have someone who both cares about and understands you. Most people don't give a shit about the fact that you are in a bad spot. Some people might say, "Oh man I am sorry that you are in such a bad spot." A few people might pause whatever they are doing and offer you some help. Only one person, or maybe two or three, won't go until they get you out of the bad spot. I would like to be that person for my SO.
I just started watching Fargo. The second season. I looked up the cast of the show before I started watching it. Kristen Dunst is in it. When I was younger I heard people making fun of Dunst's teeth. I felt really bad for her. In an interview she did in 2019 she told the reporter that she was asked by some producers to have her teeth fixed, but she refused. Though she probably had dental work done at some point because her teeth do not look the same as before. I wondered what would have happened if she never had it done. And why can't we even accept an actress with "imperfect" teeth. David Bowie also had crooked teeth which he later fixed. I have heard many people claiming that his teeth did not bother them. I wondered if they would have said the same if it is just some random person with crooked teeth. I would be sad if their logic went like, the more talented a person is, the more crooked their teeth I could accept. My friend had a car accident in London some years ago and that messed something up. I am sure some men would have chosen to leave but hers did not. Her husband did not tell her to fix anything. A side note, fixing and repairing, in a relationship, are some essential skills. I do not want to be with someone who constantly thinks about jumping ship. Though we all know that some mistakes are simply beyond repair. "Would it be so bad if I slept with this girl, only once, behind my wife's back?" Yes, it would be over. I would like to find someone who not just likes the beginning of things but also the things after that. Someone who I could share both the best and the worst years of my life with. And, you know, someone to watch Fargo with.
What I am looking for - Short version (there is a long version, with explanation, follows) - A single, monogamous, adult (stop asking me for an age range. If you can get married without your parents’ approval, you are welcomed to message me) man who is looking for a lifelong relationship, has time to be in a committed relationship, will become my best friend, is in shape/ not too out of shape, is reasonably healthy, is mentally healthy and stable/ mentally unhealthy and unstable but has been monitoring the progress, mentally available, is a meat eater, is a non smoke rarely smoke, is a non drinke social drinker, is a non drug addict (weed is fine), is a non gambling addict, is a non porn addict, is a virgin/ non virgin but was always responsible to their exes (always wore condoms and never had STDs), is okay with no cohabitation, is okay with no premarital sex, is not into anything kinky, wants kids (biological kids/ adopted kids), is okay with your spouse not taking birth control pills, is okay with your spouse not wearing an IUD, is debt free/ with justifiable debt, is religious/ non religious, is eligible to apply for a passport (and meet each other) If you do not agree with everything I said above then we are not compatible. “I agreed with most of the things you said.” What does that even mean? I have had enough messages telling me that they do not entirely agree with what I said but would like to see where things go. The answer is nowhere. I do not have time nor do I want to build a castle on sand. I also have had enough messages telling me to reconsider things. I won't. What I like - Sun Snow Trees Woodworking Agriculture Plants Good food Hot food Hot soup Warm words Laughing Wool yarn Wool clothing Names with stories, say like, street names Dining wares Trains Photography Old stories - old movies and shows Good stories - movies, shows and documentaries, books, music with good lyrics Good arts Thrift stores Flea markets What I am looking for - Long version - A strictly monogamous relationship that is happy, healthy, supportive, and lasts forever. I am not looking for dick pictures, chat buddies, dirty chat buddies, hookups, love affairs, friends, friends with benefits, rebound dating, short-term dating, several years dating, polyamorous, open, or online-only relationships. Communication - I would make time to talk to my SO every day, and very much prefer so, even just to hear that they are safe and sound. But I would be understanding if they are out in Antarctica and the satellite Internet at the work station does not always work properly, or something like that. I would like to deal with all the hardships in life together as a team. Having arguments in a relationship is somewhat unavoidable. I like straightening things out, right away, in a logical, non violent, and non abusive way. I apologize when I make mistakes. Giving silent treatment is really not my thing. I am not saying that I do not have a temper. I do. I do get angry, but within reason. Keeping promises and being punctual are important to me. I always say “Gotta go” when I need to end a conversation. Mental health - The amount of toxicity I could take is arguably higher than average, but please alert me if you are struggling mentally. On a side note, I hope you do not like watching porn. It is a poor choice, and is both physically and psychologically damaging. I am not asking everyone of you to agree with me on this, or any other things I say in this post. Whatever floats your boat, strangers; just let me have the freedom to find whatever I am looking for. Distance - I am not looking for an online marriage. Future faking is a fucked up thing to do to another person. If you need nude pictures, phone sex or Skype sex to make a long distance relationship works, I am not the person you are looking for. Meeting for the first time - I have given this a lot of thoughts, still I do not really know when and where would be good to meet up. We could meet either before we go into a relationship or after. It would probably be fairer for us to fly to a foreign place to meet, it means we would have to trust each other enough to do that. In that case it would make more sense to meet after the relationship has already been established. Also we would have to deal with this whole “OMG covid is deadly!” thing. I think it is doable to fall for someone just by talking. Though I am aware that people are often not who they claimed they are. Those who say they are loyal could be experienced cheaters. But we will see. When in doubt, I ask questions. Marriage - I have never been married but I would like to get married. The last thing I want is a divorce. The word marriage has sort of become a dirty word now but I am old fashioned. I like relationship labels, and I hope you are the same. A side note, I'm not into having a big wedding. Or a diamond ring. Or to dress fancy for a pre-wedding shoot. The National Gallery of Art has three self portraits of a Hungarian photographer and his wife. I would like to have a wedding like theirs. Which means I would just like to hang out with my SO somewhere, take some pictures ourselves, and call it a wedding. If you never had a proper family, fear not, we would have one on our own. However, having a toxic childhood should not be an excuse for exhibiting toxic behaviors. I would never set myself on fire to keep you warm. It would not help. Sex - It would be too intimidating if you have had unsafe sex, a lot of sex, or many sexual partners in the past. And I do not want to be intimidated. Don’t give me that classic “oral sex/ cyber sex is not really sex” BS. Premarital sex is off the table. People make fun of those who have never had sex, which I do not get. I do not have a past, and would strongly prefer someone who also does not. It seems fairer that way, and in that way I would not have to grieve over your past. But, then again, grieving is a part of life. It is alright if you are not a virgin, just do not lie. I do not really have a sex drive. Mentally speaking, I would be okay if you never wanted to have sex, I would also be okay if you wanted to have a lot of sex. Because I do not specifically crave for sex; I crave for love. In other word, I count all types of affection as a whole, and sex does not specifically stand out from all the rest. Physically speaking, I would not be compatible with those who have a high sex drive, as I think overindulgence in sex is destructive. I am not really a robot, and so daily sex sounds off putting as fuck to me. I would not be compatible with those who are into kinky sex/ filming sex tapes, also. There is nothing wrong with those, they are just not my thing. I think having boundaries in bed does not mean I do not love them, or love them less than those who have no boundaries. I would never take birth control pills/ wear an IUD, because they have many side effects that I do not want to deal with. Respect my choices. Kids - I do not have kids. But I would like to raise kids. Ask yourself, honestly, if you are mature enough, and ready to be a father. "But I am not ready, just yet; there are things I want to achieve before I become a father." Find someone younger, then. I would like to add that I have no reason to doubt my fertility as I take reasonably good care of myself. I have no, and never had any, chronic diseases or illnesses. Am at a healthy weight, somewhat slim even. 5 feet 7 inches tall. In the event that I was infertile, surrogacy would not be an option. It goes against my morals. So, again, think twice. I would like to raise adopted kids, and treat them like they are my biological kids. I would not dump my husband if, he was found to be infertile at any point of the marriage. Technically I would be okay if you do not want to raise kids at all, but providing a home for some orphans is something I could do, and I do not want to pass that on. Living together - I have always, and still am against the idea of living together before marriage. There is nothing wrong with cohabitation, it is just again not my thing. I would gladly introduce my roommate when I was in school to you if you are worried that I have some weird quirks. I might or might not bribe her before I introduce her to you. Living with parents - Sure, I would not think less of you. There are reasons why people choose to live with their parents. Cars - I do not care whether you have a car or not. Money - I am not rich, and was not born rich, but I have no debts. Never had debts. I am aware that some debts are justifiable, like student loan. I worked in the academia. I just started doing something new, related to my field of study, and that makes me happy. Whether you are a postdoc, or a high school drop out, makes no difference to me. For those who think that throwing me a sentence like “I am a lawyer” would be enough to make me talk, have some self respect. I am fine with my Reddit inbox collects only dust. Religion - I suppose I have always been mostly an agnostic. My parents sent me to a Christian middle school, then a Christian high school. It would be great if you are a God believer and do not mind me being a non religious person. We could read Bible together. It would also be great if you are a non religious person but follow traditional values. Smoking, drinking and doing drugs - I do not smoke cigarettes. Or vape. Or whatever. I do not do soft/ hard drugs. Have no past addictions. I do not take over-the-counter drugs even. I do not drink alcohol. If you drink responsibly, then I do not have a problem with that. Dietary choices - I am an omnivore. Have no food allergies. Please be a meat eater. I do not want to get into an argument with you over a tuna egg sandwich I make for our kids. I would not raise my kids vegan. They should be able to make their own choices when they are old enough. I like cooking quite a bit. Would learn to cook all your favorite dishes. Pets - I do not have any pets. Gaming - I do not gamble. I have never played any video or computer games. Game soundtracks though I do often pay attention to. Tattoos - Sure, why not? Earrings - Why not? I would buy you earrings. Long hair - Why not? I would braid your hair when you are asleep, though. Politics - I am against communism, and totalitarianism. Trump 2020. Please read my reddit history. I pretty much stopped using this account altogether, except posting on Foreveralonedating, because this account has 33 male followers, and that is creepy, and makes me feel very uncomfortable. But my reddit history should give you a hint on what kind of a person I am. (Update: 68 followers now, which shows you how disgusting and creepy some, if not most, men on this site are.) P.S. This is Reddit, a wonderful yet utterly dangerous place, strangers. Especially for women. So many people prey on the weak. Even scammers would spend an hour writing and tell you that “you are everything I have been looking for since forever”. I laughed out loud at “I would relocate for you but it depends on where exactly you are” messages. “I am 100% (insert a race here), and I couldn’t aim to have kids with a wife who isn’t (insert a race here).” messages are laughable. Don’t bother, kiddos. The only time I accept people bringing up the skin color thing is when it concerns our adopted kids, if you understand what I mean. Canned messages are easy to spot, because I am smarter than you imagined. There were people who messaged me from throwaway accounts, which I noticed later filled with porn posts. Accounts with no post history are fishy. Anyhow at some point let's do a photo verification. Maybe we could take a selfie while holding a piece of paper with something like "Today's February 33 1920" written on it. Thank you all for sending me a selfie right off the bat. But I do not trust you enough to click on it. Also please do not ask me to talk to you over the phone/ do a video chat with you right off the bat. If you absolutely do not know what to write, check out "pinned post II", there's a list of 30 questions. I talk to one person, if even there was one, at a time. TL;DR - I am a non religious person who holds traditional values and beliefs, which for obvious reasons give me a hard time these days. If you see this post, message me, no matter when.
31 [F4M] US/ Anywhere - Looking for a lifelong, old fashioned relationship
There's a spot on the dining room's wall that's always moldy in spring. Probably because the apartment faces the sea. Though it's not really too close to it. The molds just keep coming back the next day after being removed. Somehow it just reminds me of a documentary I watched on Netflix weeks ago, Dancing With The Birds. The birds in the documentary all tried, day after day, to find someone. They just don't give up. Just as resilient as the moldy spot on the wall. I wanted to see if you are here.
I once got an internship at a company in a neighborhood I am not familiar with. I asked a friend of mine, who did an internship there the year before, about where I should avoid and things like that. Then she was like, "My boyfriend took care of everything for me. I think he um...." I asked my next door neighbor the same question because he got an internship in the same neighborhood I did. The first thing he said was, "If you can't figure things out on your own I don't think you should do an internship at all." For some reason the conversations I had with them still strikes me even until this day. People rarely care. People rarely understand. Even rarer to have someone who both cares about and understands you. Most people don't give a shit about the fact that you are in a bad spot. Some people might say, "Oh man I am sorry that you are in such a bad spot." A few people might pause whatever they are doing and offer you some help. Only one person, or maybe two or three, won't go until they get you out of the bad spot. I would like to be that person for my SO.
I just started watching Fargo. The second season. I looked up the cast of the show before I started watching it. Kristen Dunst is in it. When I was younger I heard people making fun of Dunst's teeth. I felt really bad for her. In an interview she did in 2019 she told the reporter that she was asked by some producers to have her teeth fixed, but she refused. Though she probably had dental work done at some point because her teeth do not look the same as before. I wondered what would have happened if she never had it done. And why can't we even accept an actress with "imperfect" teeth. David Bowie also had crooked teeth which he later fixed. I have heard many people claiming that his teeth did not bother them. I wondered if they would have said the same if it is just some random person with crooked teeth. I would be sad if their logic went like, the more talented a person is, the more crooked their teeth I could accept. My friend had a car accident in London some years ago and that messed something up. I am sure some men would have chosen to leave but hers did not. Her husband did not tell her to fix anything. A side note, fixing and repairing, in a relationship, are some essential skills. I do not want to be with someone who constantly thinks about jumping ship. Though we all know that some mistakes are simply beyond repair. "Would it be so bad if I slept with this girl, only once, behind my wife's back?" Yes, it would be over. I would like to find someone who not just likes the beginning of things but also the things after that. Someone who I could share both the best and the worst years of my life with. And, you know, someone to watch Fargo with.
What I am looking for - Short version (there is a long version, with explanation, follows) - A single, monogamous, adult (stop asking me for an age range. If you can get married without your parents’ approval, you are welcomed to message me) man who is looking for a lifelong relationship, has time to be in a committed relationship, will become my best friend, is in shape/ not too out of shape, is reasonably healthy, is mentally healthy and stable/ mentally unhealthy and unstable but has been monitoring the progress, mentally available, is a meat eater, is a non smoke rarely smoke, is a non drinke social drinker, is a non drug addict (weed is fine), is a non gambling addict, is a non porn addict, is a virgin/ non virgin but was always responsible to their exes (always wore condoms and never had STDs), is okay with no cohabitation, is okay with no premarital sex, is not into anything kinky, wants kids (biological kids/ adopted kids), is okay with your spouse not taking birth control pills, is okay with your spouse not wearing an IUD, is debt free/ with justifiable debt, is religious/ non religious, is eligible to apply for a passport (and meet each other) If you do not agree with everything I said above then we are not compatible. “I agreed with most of the things you said.” What does that even mean? I have had enough messages telling me that they do not entirely agree with what I said but would like to see where things go. The answer is nowhere. I do not have time nor do I want to build a castle on sand. I also have had enough messages telling me to reconsider things. I won't. What I like - Sun Snow Trees Woodworking Agriculture Plants Good food Hot food Hot soup Warm words Laughing Wool yarn Wool clothing Names with stories, say like, street names Dining wares Trains Photography Old stories - old movies and shows Good stories - movies, shows and documentaries, books, music with good lyrics Good arts Thrift stores Flea markets What I am looking for - Long version - A strictly monogamous relationship that is happy, healthy, supportive, and lasts forever. I am not looking for dick pictures, chat buddies, dirty chat buddies, hookups, love affairs, friends, friends with benefits, sugar daddies, sugar uncles, sugar sons, rebound dating, short-term dating, several years dating, polyamorous, open, or online-only relationships. Communication - I would make time to talk to my SO every day, and very much prefer so, even just to hear that they are safe and sound. But I would be understanding if they are out in Antarctica and the satellite Internet at the work station does not always work properly, or something like that. I would like to deal with all the hardships in life together as a team. Having arguments in a relationship is somewhat unavoidable. I like straightening things out, right away, in a logical, non violent, and non abusive way. I apologize when I make mistakes. Giving silent treatment is really not my thing. I am not saying that I do not have a temper. I do. I do get angry, but within reason. Keeping promises and being punctual are important to me. I always say “Gotta go” when I need to end a conversation. Mental health - The amount of toxicity I could take is arguably higher than average, but please alert me if you are struggling mentally. On a side note, I hope you do not like watching porn. It is a poor choice, and is both physically and psychologically damaging. I am not asking everyone of you to agree with me on this, or any other things I say in this post. Whatever floats your boat, strangers; just let me have the freedom to find whatever I am looking for. Distance - I am not looking for an online marriage. Future faking is a fucked up thing to do to another person. If you need nude pictures, phone sex or Skype sex to make a long distance relationship works, I am not the person you are looking for. Meeting for the first time - I have given this a lot of thoughts, still I do not really know when and where would be good to meet up. We could meet either before we go into a relationship or after. It would probably be fairer for us to fly to a foreign place to meet, it means we would have to trust each other enough to do that. In that case it would make more sense to meet after the relationship has already been established. Also we would have to deal with this whole “OMG covid is deadly!” thing. I think it is doable to fall for someone just by talking. Though I am aware that people are often not who they claimed they are. Those who say they are loyal could be experienced cheaters. But we will see. When in doubt, I ask questions. Marriage - I have never been married but I would like to get married. The last thing I want is a divorce. The word marriage has sort of become a dirty word now but I am old fashioned. I like relationship labels, and I hope you are the same. A side note, I'm not into having a big wedding. Or a diamond ring. Or to dress fancy for a pre-wedding shoot. The National Gallery of Art has three self portraits of a Hungarian photographer and his wife. I would like to have a wedding like theirs. Which means I would just like to hang out with my SO somewhere, take some pictures ourselves, and call it a wedding. If you never had a proper family, fear not, we would have one on our own. However, having a toxic childhood should not be an excuse for exhibiting toxic behaviors. I would never set myself on fire to keep you warm. It would not help. Sex - It would be too intimidating if you have had unsafe sex, a lot of sex, or many sexual partners in the past. And I do not want to be intimidated. Don’t give me that classic “oral sex/ cyber sex is not really sex” BS. Premarital sex is off the table. People make fun of those who have never had sex, which I do not get. I do not have a past, and would strongly prefer someone who also does not. It seems fairer that way, and in that way I would not have to grieve over your past. But, then again, grieving is a part of life. It is alright if you are not a virgin, just do not lie. I do not really have a sex drive. Mentally speaking, I would be okay if you never wanted to have sex, I would also be okay if you wanted to have a lot of sex. Because I do not specifically crave for sex; I crave for love. In other word, I count all types of affection as a whole, and sex does not specifically stand out from all the rest. Physically speaking, I would not be compatible with those who have a high sex drive, as I think overindulgence in sex is destructive. I am not really a robot, and so daily sex sounds off putting as fuck to me. I would not be compatible with those who are into kinky sex/ filming sex tapes, also. There is nothing wrong with those, they are just not my thing. I think having boundaries in bed does not mean I do not love them, or love them less than those who have no boundaries. I would never take birth control pills/ wear an IUD, because they have many side effects that I do not want to deal with. Respect my choices. Kids - I do not have kids. But I would like to raise kids. Ask yourself, honestly, if you are mature enough, and ready to be a father. "But I am not ready, just yet; there are things I want to achieve before I become a father." Find someone younger, then. I would like to add that I have no reason to doubt my fertility as I take reasonably good care of myself. I have no, and never had any, chronic diseases or illnesses. Am at a healthy weight, somewhat slim even. 5 feet 7 inches tall. In the event that I was infertile, surrogacy would not be an option. It goes against my morals. So, again, think twice. I would like to raise adopted kids, and treat them like they are my biological kids. I would not dump my husband if, he was found to be infertile at any point of the marriage. Technically I would be okay if you do not want to raise kids at all, but providing a home for some orphans is something I could do, and I do not want to pass that on. Living together - I have always, and still am against the idea of living together before marriage. There is nothing wrong with cohabitation, it is just again not my thing. I would gladly introduce my roommate when I was in school to you if you are worried that I have some weird quirks. I might or might not bribe her before I introduce her to you. Living with parents - Sure, I would not think less of you. There are reasons why people choose to live with their parents. Cars - I do not care whether you have a car or not. Money - I am not rich, and was not born rich, but I have no debts. Never had debts. I am aware that some debts are justifiable, like student loan. I worked in the academia. I just started doing something new, related to my field of study, and that makes me happy. Whether you are a postdoc, or a high school drop out, makes no difference to me. For those who think that throwing me a sentence like “I am a lawyer” would be enough to make me talk, have some self respect. I am fine with my Reddit inbox collects only dust. Religion - I suppose I have always been mostly an agnostic. My parents sent me to a Christian middle school, then a Christian high school. It would be great if you are a God believer and do not mind me being a non religious person. We could read Bible together. It would also be great if you are a non religious person but follow traditional values. Smoking, drinking and doing drugs - I do not smoke cigarettes. Or vape. Or whatever. I do not do soft/ hard drugs. Have no past addictions. I do not take over-the-counter drugs even. I do not drink alcohol. If you drink responsibly, then I do not have a problem with that. Dietary choices - I am an omnivore. Have no food allergies. Please be a meat eater. I do not want to get into an argument with you over a tuna egg sandwich I make for our kids. I would not raise my kids vegan. They should be able to make their own choices when they are old enough. I like cooking quite a bit. Would learn to cook all your favorite dishes. Pets - I do not have any pets. Gaming - I do not gamble. I have never played any video or computer games. Game soundtracks though I do often pay attention to. Tattoos - Sure, why not? Earrings - Why not? I would buy you earrings. Long hair - Why not? I would braid your hair when you are asleep, though. Politics - I am against communism, and totalitarianism. Trump 2020. Please read my reddit history. I pretty much stopped using this account altogether, except posting on Foreveralonedating, because this account has 33 male followers, and that is creepy, and makes me feel very uncomfortable. But my reddit history should give you a hint on what kind of a person I am. (Update: 68 followers now, which shows you how disgusting and creepy some, if not most, men on this site are.) P.S. This is Reddit, a wonderful yet utterly dangerous place, strangers. Especially for women. So many people prey on the weak. Even scammers would spend an hour writing and tell you that “you are everything I have been looking for since forever”. I laughed out loud at “I would relocate for you but it depends on where exactly you are” messages. “I am 100% (insert a race here), and I couldn’t aim to have kids with a wife who isn’t (insert a race here).” messages are laughable. Don’t bother, kiddos. The only time I accept people bringing up the skin color thing is when it concerns our adopted kids, if you understand what I mean. Canned messages are easy to spot, because I am smarter than you imagined. There were people who messaged me from throwaway accounts, which I noticed later filled with porn posts. Accounts with no post history are fishy. Anyhow at some point let's do a photo verification. Maybe we could take a selfie while holding a piece of paper with something like "Today's February 33 1920" written on it. Thank you all for sending me a selfie right off the bat. But I do not trust you enough to click on it. Also please do not ask me to talk to you over the phone/ do a video chat with you right off the bat. If you absolutely do not know what to write, check out "pinned post II", there's a list of 30 questions. I talk to one person, if even there was one, at a time. TL;DR - I am a non religious person who holds traditional values and beliefs, which for obvious reasons give me a hard time these days. If you see this post, message me, no matter when.
31 [F4M] US/ Anywhere - Looking for a lifelong, old fashioned relationship
31 [F4M] US/ Anywhere - Looking for a lifelong, old fashioned relationship
There's a spot on the dining room's wall that's always moldy in spring. Probably because the apartment faces the sea. Though it's not really too close to it. The molds just keep coming back the next day after being removed. Somehow it just reminds me of a documentary I watched on Netflix weeks ago, Dancing With The Birds. The birds in the documentary all tried, day after day, to find someone. They just don't give up. Just as resilient as the moldy spot on the wall. I wanted to see if you are here.
I once got an internship at a company in a neighborhood I am not familiar with. I asked a friend of mine, who did an internship there the year before, about where I should avoid and things like that. Then she was like, "My boyfriend took care of everything for me. I think he um...." I asked my next door neighbor the same question because he got an internship in the same neighborhood I did. The first thing he said was, "If you can't figure things out on your own I don't think you should do an internship at all." For some reason the conversations I had with them still strikes me even until this day. People rarely care. People rarely understand. Even rarer to have someone who both cares about and understands you. Most people don't give a shit about the fact that you are in a bad spot. Some people might say, "Oh man I am sorry that you are in such a bad spot." A few people might pause whatever they are doing and offer you some help. Only one person, or maybe two or three, won't go until they get you out of the bad spot. I would like to be that person for my SO.
I just started watching Fargo. The second season. I looked up the cast of the show before I started watching it. Kristen Dunst is in it. When I was younger I heard people making fun of Dunst's teeth. I felt really bad for her. In an interview she did in 2019 she told the reporter that she was asked by some producers to have her teeth fixed, but she refused. Though she probably had dental work done at some point because her teeth do not look the same as before. I wondered what would have happened if she never had it done. And why can't we even accept an actress with "imperfect" teeth. David Bowie also had crooked teeth which he later fixed. I have heard many people claiming that his teeth did not bother them. I wondered if they would have said the same if it is just some random person with crooked teeth. I would be sad if their logic went like, the more talented a person is, the more crooked their teeth I could accept. My friend had a car accident in London some years ago and that messed something up. I am sure some men would have chosen to leave but hers did not. Her husband did not tell her to fix anything. A side note, fixing and repairing, in a relationship, are some essential skills. I do not want to be with someone who constantly thinks about jumping ship. Though we all know that some mistakes are simply beyond repair. "Would it be so bad if I slept with this girl, only once, behind my wife's back?" Yes, it would be over. I would like to find someone who not just likes the beginning of things but also the things after that. Someone who I could share both the best and the worst years of my life with. And, you know, someone to watch Fargo with.
What I am looking for - Short version (there is a long version, with explanation, follows) - A single, monogamous, adult (stop asking me for an age range. If you can get married without your parents’ approval, you are welcomed to message me) man who is looking for a lifelong relationship, has time to be in a committed relationship, will become my best friend, is in shape/ not too out of shape, is reasonably healthy, is mentally healthy and stable/ mentally unhealthy and unstable but has been monitoring the progress, mentally available, is a meat eater, is a non smoke rarely smoke, is a non drinke social drinker, is a non drug addict (weed is fine), is a non gambling addict, is a non porn addict, is a virgin/ non virgin but was always responsible to their exes (always wore condoms and never had STDs), is okay with no cohabitation, is okay with no premarital sex, is not into anything kinky, wants kids (biological kids/ adopted kids), is okay with your spouse not taking birth control pills, is okay with your spouse not wearing an IUD, is debt free/ with justifiable debt, is religious/ non religious, is eligible to apply for a passport (and meet each other) If you do not agree with everything I said above then we are not compatible. “I agreed with most of the things you said.” What does that even mean? I have had enough messages telling me that they do not entirely agree with what I said but would like to see where things go. The answer is nowhere. I do not have time nor do I want to build a castle on sand. I also have had enough messages telling me to reconsider things. I won't. What I like - Sun Snow Trees Woodworking Agriculture Plants Good food Hot food Hot soup Warm words Laughing Wool yarn Wool clothing Names with stories, say like, street names Dining wares Trains Photography Old stories - old movies and shows Good stories - movies, shows and documentaries, books, music with good lyrics Good arts Thrift stores Flea markets What I am looking for - Long version - A strictly monogamous relationship that is happy, healthy, supportive, and lasts forever. I am not looking for dick pictures, chat buddies, dirty chat buddies, hookups, love affairs, friends, friends with benefits, sugar daddies, sugar uncles, sugar sons, rebound dating, short-term dating, several years dating, polyamorous, open, or online-only relationships. Communication - I would make time to talk to my SO every day, and very much prefer so, even just to hear that they are safe and sound. But I would be understanding if they are out in Antarctica and the satellite Internet at the work station does not always work properly, or something like that. I would like to deal with all the hardships in life together as a team. Having arguments in a relationship is somewhat unavoidable. I like straightening things out, right away, in a logical, non violent, and non abusive way. I apologize when I make mistakes. Giving silent treatment is really not my thing. I am not saying that I do not have a temper. I do. I do get angry, but within reason. Keeping promises and being punctual are important to me. I always say “Gotta go” when I need to end a conversation. Mental health - The amount of toxicity I could take is arguably higher than average, but please alert me if you are struggling mentally. On a side note, I hope you do not like watching porn. It is a poor choice, and is both physically and psychologically damaging. I am not asking everyone of you to agree with me on this, or any other things I say in this post. Whatever floats your boat, strangers; just let me have the freedom to find whatever I am looking for. Distance - I am not looking for an online marriage. Future faking is a fucked up thing to do to another person. If you need nude pictures, phone sex or Skype sex to make a long distance relationship works, I am not the person you are looking for. Meeting for the first time - I have given this a lot of thoughts, still I do not really know when and where would be good to meet up. We could meet either before we go into a relationship or after. It would probably be fairer for us to fly to a foreign place to meet, it means we would have to trust each other enough to do that. In that case it would make more sense to meet after the relationship has already been established. Also we would have to deal with this whole “OMG covid is deadly!” thing. I think it is doable to fall for someone just by talking. Though I am aware that people are often not who they claimed they are. Those who say they are loyal could be experienced cheaters. But we will see. When in doubt, I ask questions. Marriage - I have never been married but I would like to get married. The last thing I want is a divorce. The word marriage has sort of become a dirty word now but I am old fashioned. I like relationship labels, and I hope you are the same. A side note, I'm not into having a big wedding. Or a diamond ring. Or to dress fancy for a pre-wedding shoot. The National Gallery of Art has three self portraits of a Hungarian photographer and his wife. I would like to have a wedding like theirs. Which means I would just like to hang out with my SO somewhere, take some pictures ourselves, and call it a wedding. If you never had a proper family, fear not, we would have one on our own. However, having a toxic childhood should not be an excuse for exhibiting toxic behaviors. I would never set myself on fire to keep you warm. It would not help. Sex - It would be too intimidating if you have had unsafe sex, a lot of sex, or many sexual partners in the past. And I do not want to be intimidated. Don’t give me that classic “oral sex/ cyber sex is not really sex” BS. Premarital sex is off the table. People make fun of those who have never had sex, which I do not get. I do not have a past, and would strongly prefer someone who also does not. It seems fairer that way, and in that way I would not have to grieve over your past. But, then again, grieving is a part of life. It is alright if you are not a virgin, just do not lie. I do not really have a sex drive. Mentally speaking, I would be okay if you never wanted to have sex, I would also be okay if you wanted to have a lot of sex. Because I do not specifically crave for sex; I crave for love. In other word, I count all types of affection as a whole, and sex does not specifically stand out from all the rest. Physically speaking, I would not be compatible with those who have a high sex drive, as I think overindulgence in sex is destructive. I am not really a robot, and so daily sex sounds off putting as fuck to me. I would not be compatible with those who are into kinky sex/ filming sex tapes, also. There is nothing wrong with those, they are just not my thing. I think having boundaries in bed does not mean I do not love them, or love them less than those who have no boundaries. I would never take birth control pills/ wear an IUD, because they have many side effects that I do not want to deal with. Respect my choices. Kids - I do not have kids. But I would like to raise kids. Ask yourself, honestly, if you are mature enough, and ready to be a father. "But I am not ready, just yet; there are things I want to achieve before I become a father." Find someone younger, then. I would like to add that I have no reason to doubt my fertility as I take reasonably good care of myself. I have no, and never had any, chronic diseases or illnesses. Am at a healthy weight, somewhat slim even. 5 feet 7 inches tall. In the event that I was infertile, surrogacy would not be an option. It goes against my morals. So, again, think twice. I would like to raise adopted kids, and treat them like they are my biological kids. I would not dump my husband if, he was found to be infertile at any point of the marriage. Technically I would be okay if you do not want to raise kids at all, but providing a home for some orphans is something I could do, and I do not want to pass that on. Living together - I have always, and still am against the idea of living together before marriage. There is nothing wrong with cohabitation, it is just again not my thing. I would gladly introduce my roommate when I was in school to you if you are worried that I have some weird quirks. I might or might not bribe her before I introduce her to you. Living with parents - Sure, I would not think less of you. There are reasons why people choose to live with their parents. Cars - I do not care whether you have a car or not. Money - I am not rich, and was not born rich, but I have no debts. Never had debts. I am aware that some debts are justifiable, like student loan. I worked in the academia. I just started doing something new, related to my field of study, and that makes me happy. Whether you are a postdoc, or a high school drop out, makes no difference to me. For those who think that throwing me a sentence like “I am a lawyer” would be enough to make me talk, have some self respect. I am fine with my Reddit inbox collects only dust. Religion - I suppose I have always been mostly an agnostic. My parents sent me to a Christian middle school, then a Christian high school. It would be great if you are a God believer and do not mind me being a non religious person. We could read Bible together. It would also be great if you are a non religious person but follow traditional values. Smoking, drinking and doing drugs - I do not smoke cigarettes. Or vape. Or whatever. I do not do soft/ hard drugs. Have no past addictions. I do not take over-the-counter drugs even. I do not drink alcohol. If you drink responsibly, then I do not have a problem with that. Dietary choices - I am an omnivore. Have no food allergies. Please be a meat eater. I do not want to get into an argument with you over a tuna egg sandwich I make for our kids. I would not raise my kids vegan. They should be able to make their own choices when they are old enough. I like cooking quite a bit. Would learn to cook all your favorite dishes. Pets - I do not have any pets. Gaming - I do not gamble. I have never played any video or computer games. Game soundtracks though I do often pay attention to. Tattoos - Sure, why not? Earrings - Why not? I would buy you earrings. Long hair - Why not? I would braid your hair when you are asleep, though. Politics - I am against communism, and totalitarianism. Trump 2020. Please read my reddit history. I pretty much stopped using this account altogether, except posting on Foreveralonedating, because this account has 33 male followers, and that is creepy, and makes me feel very uncomfortable. But my reddit history should give you a hint on what kind of a person I am. (Update: 68 followers now, which shows you how disgusting and creepy some, if not most, men on this site are.) P.S. This is Reddit, a wonderful yet utterly dangerous place, strangers. Especially for women. So many people prey on the weak. Even scammers would spend an hour writing and tell you that “you are everything I have been looking for since forever”. I laughed out loud at “I would relocate for you but it depends on where exactly you are” messages. “I am 100% (insert a race here), and I couldn’t aim to have kids with a wife who isn’t (insert a race here).” messages are laughable. Don’t bother, kiddos. The only time I accept people bringing up the skin color thing is when it concerns our adopted kids, if you understand what I mean. Canned messages are easy to spot, because I am smarter than you imagined. There were people who messaged me from throwaway accounts, which I noticed later filled with porn posts. Accounts with no post history are fishy. Anyhow at some point let's do a photo verification. Maybe we could take a selfie while holding a piece of paper with something like "Today's February 33 1920" written on it. Thank you all for sending me a selfie right off the bat. But I do not trust you enough to click on it. Also please do not ask me to talk to you over the phone/ do a video chat with you right off the bat. If you absolutely do not know what to write, check out "pinned post II", there's a list of 30 questions. I talk to one person, if even there was one, at a time. TL;DR - I am a non religious person who holds traditional values and beliefs, which for obvious reasons give me a hard time these days. If you see this post, message me, no matter when.
31 [F4M] US/ Anywhere - Looking for a lifelong, old fashioned [relationship]
There's a spot on the dining room's wall that's always moldy in spring. Probably because the apartment faces the sea. Though it's not really too close to it. The molds just keep coming back the next day after being removed. Somehow it just reminds me of a documentary I watched on Netflix weeks ago, Dancing With The Birds. The birds in the documentary all tried, day after day, to find someone. They just don't give up. Just as resilient as the moldy spot on the wall. I wanted to see if you are here.
I once got an internship at a company in a neighborhood I am not familiar with. I asked a friend of mine, who did an internship there the year before, about where I should avoid and things like that. Then she was like, "My boyfriend took care of everything for me. I think he um...." I asked my next door neighbor the same question because he got an internship in the same neighborhood I did. The first thing he said was, "If you can't figure things out on your own I don't think you should do an internship at all." For some reason the conversations I had with them still strikes me even until this day. People rarely care. People rarely understand. Even rarer to have someone who both cares about and understands you. Most people don't give a shit about the fact that you are in a bad spot. Some people might say, "Oh man I am sorry that you are in such a bad spot." A few people might pause whatever they are doing and offer you some help. Only one person, or maybe two or three, won't go until they get you out of the bad spot. I would like to be that person for my SO.
I just started watching Fargo. The second season. I looked up the cast of the show before I started watching it. Kristen Dunst is in it. When I was younger I heard people making fun of Dunst's teeth. I felt really bad for her. In an interview she did in 2019 she told the reporter that she was asked by some producers to have her teeth fixed, but she refused. Though she probably had dental work done at some point because her teeth do not look the same as before. I wondered what would have happened if she never had it done. And why can't we even accept an actress with "imperfect" teeth. David Bowie also had crooked teeth which he later fixed. I have heard many people claiming that his teeth did not bother them. I wondered if they would have said the same if it is just some random person with crooked teeth. I would be sad if their logic went like, the more talented a person is, the more crooked their teeth I could accept. My friend had a car accident in London some years ago and that messed something up. I am sure some men would have chosen to leave but hers did not. Her husband did not tell her to fix anything. A side note, fixing and repairing, in a relationship, are some essential skills. I do not want to be with someone who constantly thinks about jumping ship. Though we all know that some mistakes are simply beyond repair. "Would it be so bad if I slept with this girl, only once, behind my wife's back?" Yes, it would be over. I would like to find someone who not just likes the beginning of things but also the things after that. Someone who I could share both the best and the worst years of my life with. And, you know, someone to watch Fargo with.
What I am looking for - Short version (there is a long version, with explanation, follows) - A single, monogamous, adult (stop asking me for an age range. If you can get married without your parents’ approval, you are welcomed to message me) man who is looking for a lifelong relationship, has time to be in a committed relationship, will become my best friend, is in shape/ not too out of shape, is reasonably healthy, is mentally healthy and stable/ mentally unhealthy and unstable but has been monitoring the progress, mentally available, is a meat eater, is a non smoke rarely smoke, is a non drinke social drinker, is a non drug addict (weed is fine), is a non gambling addict, is a non porn addict, is a virgin/ non virgin but was always responsible to their exes (always wore condoms and never had STDs), is okay with no cohabitation, is okay with no premarital sex, is not into anything kinky, wants kids (biological kids/ adopted kids), is okay with your spouse not taking birth control pills, is okay with your spouse not wearing an IUD, is debt free/ with justifiable debt, is religious/ non religious, is eligible to apply for a passport (and meet each other) If you do not agree with everything I said above then we are not compatible. “I agreed with most of the things you said.” What does that even mean? I have had enough messages telling me that they do not entirely agree with what I said but would like to see where things go. The answer is nowhere. I do not have time nor do I want to build a castle on sand. I also have had enough messages telling me to reconsider things. I won't. What I like - Sun Snow Trees Woodworking Agriculture Plants Good food Hot food Hot soup Warm words Laughing Wool yarn Wool clothing Names with stories, say like, street names Dining wares Trains Photography Old stories - old movies and shows Good stories - movies, shows and documentaries, books, music with good lyrics Good arts Thrift stores Flea markets What I am looking for - Long version - A strictly monogamous relationship that is happy, healthy, supportive, and lasts forever. I am not looking for dick pictures, chat buddies, dirty chat buddies, hookups, love affairs, friends, friends with benefits, sugar daddies, sugar uncles, sugar sons, rebound dating, short-term dating, several years dating, polyamorous, open, or online-only relationships. Communication - I would make time to talk to my SO every day, and very much prefer so, even just to hear that they are safe and sound. But I would be understanding if they are out in Antarctica and the satellite Internet at the work station does not always work properly, or something like that. I would like to deal with all the hardships in life together as a team. Having arguments in a relationship is somewhat unavoidable. I like straightening things out, right away, in a logical, non violent, and non abusive way. I apologize when I make mistakes. Giving silent treatment is really not my thing. I am not saying that I do not have a temper. I do. I do get angry, but within reason. Keeping promises and being punctual are important to me. I always say “Gotta go” when I need to end a conversation. Mental health - The amount of toxicity I could take is arguably higher than average, but please alert me if you are struggling mentally. On a side note, I hope you do not like watching porn. It is a poor choice, and is both physically and psychologically damaging. I am not asking everyone of you to agree with me on this, or any other things I say in this post. Whatever floats your boat, strangers; just let me have the freedom to find whatever I am looking for. Distance - I am not looking for an online marriage. Future faking is a fucked up thing to do to another person. If you need nude pictures, phone sex or Skype sex to make a long distance relationship works, I am not the person you are looking for. Meeting for the first time - I have given this a lot of thoughts, still I do not really know when and where would be good to meet up. We could meet either before we go into a relationship or after. It would probably be fairer for us to fly to a foreign place to meet, it means we would have to trust each other enough to do that. In that case it would make more sense to meet after the relationship has already been established. Also we would have to deal with this whole “OMG covid is deadly!” thing. I think it is doable to fall for someone just by talking. Though I am aware that people are often not who they claimed they are. Those who say they are loyal could be experienced cheaters. But we will see. When in doubt, I ask questions. Marriage - I have never been married but I would like to get married. The last thing I want is a divorce. The word marriage has sort of become a dirty word now but I am old fashioned. I like relationship labels, and I hope you are the same. A side note, I'm not into having a big wedding. Or a diamond ring. Or to dress fancy for a pre-wedding shoot. The National Gallery of Art has three self portraits of a Hungarian photographer and his wife. I would like to have a wedding like theirs. Which means I would just like to hang out with my SO somewhere, take some pictures ourselves, and call it a wedding. If you never had a proper family, fear not, we would have one on our own. However, having a toxic childhood should not be an excuse for exhibiting toxic behaviors. I would never set myself on fire to keep you warm. It would not help. Sex - It would be too intimidating if you have had unsafe sex, a lot of sex, or many sexual partners in the past. And I do not want to be intimidated. Don’t give me that classic “oral sex/ cyber sex is not really sex” BS. Premarital sex is off the table. People make fun of those who have never had sex, which I do not get. I do not have a past, and would strongly prefer someone who also does not. It seems fairer that way, and in that way I would not have to grieve over your past. But, then again, grieving is a part of life. It is alright if you are not a virgin, just do not lie. I do not really have a sex drive. Mentally speaking, I would be okay if you never wanted to have sex, I would also be okay if you wanted to have a lot of sex. Because I do not specifically crave for sex; I crave for love. In other word, I count all types of affection as a whole, and sex does not specifically stand out from all the rest. Physically speaking, I would not be compatible with those who have a high sex drive, as I think overindulgence in sex is destructive. I am not really a robot, and so daily sex sounds off putting as fuck to me. I would not be compatible with those who are into kinky sex/ filming sex tapes, also. There is nothing wrong with those, they are just not my thing. I think having boundaries in bed does not mean I do not love them, or love them less than those who have no boundaries. I would never take birth control pills/ wear an IUD, because they have many side effects that I do not want to deal with. Respect my choices. Kids - I do not have kids. But I would like to raise kids. Ask yourself, honestly, if you are mature enough, and ready to be a father. "But I am not ready, just yet; there are things I want to achieve before I become a father." Find someone younger, then. I would like to add that I have no reason to doubt my fertility as I take reasonably good care of myself. I have no, and never had any, chronic diseases or illnesses. Am at a healthy weight, somewhat slim even. 5 feet 7 inches tall. In the event that I was infertile, surrogacy would not be an option. It goes against my morals. So, again, think twice. I would like to raise adopted kids, and treat them like they are my biological kids. I would not dump my husband if, he was found to be infertile at any point of the marriage. Technically I would be okay if you do not want to raise kids at all, but providing a home for some orphans is something I could do, and I do not want to pass that on. Living together - I have always, and still am against the idea of living together before marriage. There is nothing wrong with cohabitation, it is just again not my thing. I would gladly introduce my roommate when I was in school to you if you are worried that I have some weird quirks. I might or might not bribe her before I introduce her to you. Living with parents - Sure, I would not think less of you. There are reasons why people choose to live with their parents. Cars - I do not care whether you have a car or not. Money - I am not rich, and was not born rich, but I have no debts. Never had debts. I am aware that some debts are justifiable, like student loan. I worked in the academia. I just started doing something new, related to my field of study, and that makes me happy. Whether you are a postdoc, or a high school drop out, makes no difference to me. For those who think that throwing me a sentence like “I am a lawyer” would be enough to make me talk, have some self respect. I am fine with my Reddit inbox collects only dust. Religion - I suppose I have always been mostly an agnostic. My parents sent me to a Christian middle school, then a Christian high school. It would be great if you are a God believer and do not mind me being a non religious person. We could read Bible together. It would also be great if you are a non religious person but follow traditional values. Smoking, drinking and doing drugs - I do not smoke cigarettes. Or vape. Or whatever. I do not do soft/ hard drugs. Have no past addictions. I do not take over-the-counter drugs even. I do not drink alcohol. If you drink responsibly, then I do not have a problem with that. Dietary choices - I am an omnivore. Have no food allergies. Please be a meat eater. I do not want to get into an argument with you over a tuna egg sandwich I make for our kids. I would not raise my kids vegan. They should be able to make their own choices when they are old enough. I like cooking quite a bit. Would learn to cook all your favorite dishes. Pets - I do not have any pets. Gaming - I do not gamble. I have never played any video or computer games. Game soundtracks though I do often pay attention to. Tattoos - Sure, why not? Earrings - Why not? I would buy you earrings. Long hair - Why not? I would braid your hair when you are asleep, though. Politics - I am against communism, and totalitarianism. Trump 2020. Please read my reddit history. I pretty much stopped using this account altogether, except posting on Foreveralonedating, because this account has 33 male followers, and that is creepy, and makes me feel very uncomfortable. But my reddit history should give you a hint on what kind of a person I am. (Update: 68 followers now, which shows you how disgusting and creepy some, if not most, men on this site are.) P.S. This is Reddit, a wonderful yet utterly dangerous place, strangers. Especially for women. So many people prey on the weak. Even scammers would spend an hour writing and tell you that “you are everything I have been looking for since forever”. I laughed out loud at “I would relocate for you but it depends on where exactly you are” messages. “I am 100% (insert a race here), and I couldn’t aim to have kids with a wife who isn’t (insert a race here).” messages are laughable. Don’t bother, kiddos. The only time I accept people bringing up the skin color thing is when it concerns our adopted kids, if you understand what I mean. Canned messages are easy to spot, because I am smarter than you imagined. There were people who messaged me from throwaway accounts, which I noticed later filled with porn posts. Accounts with no post history are fishy. Anyhow at some point let's do a photo verification. Maybe we could take a selfie while holding a piece of paper with something like "Today's February 33 1920" written on it. Thank you all for sending me a selfie right off the bat. But I do not trust you enough to click on it. Also please do not ask me to talk to you over the phone/ do a video chat with you right off the bat. If you absolutely do not know what to write, check out "pinned post II", there's a list of 30 questions. I talk to one person, if even there was one, at a time. TL;DR - I am a non religious person who holds traditional values and beliefs, which for obvious reasons give me a hard time these days. If you see this post, message me, no matter when.
31 [F4M] US/ Anywhere - Looking for a lifelong, old fashioned relationship
I watched a video clip before I went to bed last night. A cow lost her calf at birth. Her human then drove hours to another farm after he heard that there’s a calf available for adoption. He met with the farm owner, took the calf back to his farm, and introduced the little one to the momma cow. At first he was worried that they might not get along. But the momma cow accepted the little one. Some Redditors asked me for clarification before: “What’s your take on surrogacy?” These people either claimed that they “liked my profile a lot”, or that they “have been wanting to message me for weeks”. The answer’s already written in my profile: “Surrogacy goes against my morals.” Kids, to me, are a gift from God. Not necessarily the Christian God, I guess you could say that they are a gift from the Mother Nature. And so if I was infertile, it would be the natural selection at work. Instead of finding ways, say like surrogacy, to go around it, I’d rather accept it. Wanting kids, to me, is not about wanting to pass my genes on. It’s about wanting to raise kids together, with the person I love the most. So, to me, raising biological kids and raising adopted kids, are very much the same. People leave because of infertility. In fact people leave because of all sorts of things. I put my take on surrogacy, and my take on other stuff up front, to avoid getting into a situation like that. It’s a long profile, I do know. I did it on purpose. I did it so the majority would avoid contacting me. “She’s kind of a lot of work. Stay away from her.”
There's a spot on the dining room's wall that's always moldy in spring. Probably because the apartment faces the sea. Though it's not really too close to it. The molds just keep coming back the next day after being removed. Somehow it just reminds me of a documentary I watched on Netflix weeks ago, Dancing With The Birds. The birds in the documentary all tried, day after day, to find someone. They just don't give up. Just as resilient as the moldy spot on the wall. I wanted to see if you are here.
I once got an internship at a company in a neighborhood I am not familiar with. I asked a friend of mine, who did an internship there the year before, about where I should avoid and things like that. Then she was like, "My boyfriend took care of everything for me. I think he um...." I asked my next door neighbor the same question because he got an internship in the same neighborhood I did. The first thing he said was, "If you can't figure things out on your own I don't think you should do an internship at all." For some reason the conversations I had with them still strikes me even until this day. People rarely care. People rarely understand. Even rarer to have someone who both cares about and understands you. Most people don't give a shit about the fact that you are in a bad spot. Some people might say, "Oh man I am sorry that you are in such a bad spot." A few people might pause whatever they are doing and offer you some help. Only one person, or maybe two or three, won't go until they get you out of the bad spot. I would like to be that person for my SO.
I just started watching Fargo. The second season. I looked up the cast of the show before I started watching it. Kristen Dunst is in it. When I was younger I heard people making fun of Dunst's teeth. I felt really bad for her. In an interview she did in 2019 she told the reporter that she was asked by some producers to have her teeth fixed, but she refused. Though she probably had dental work done at some point because her teeth do not look the same as before. I wondered what would have happened if she never had it done. And why can't we even accept an actress with "imperfect" teeth. David Bowie also had crooked teeth which he later fixed. I have heard many people claiming that his teeth did not bother them. I wondered if they would have said the same if it is just some random person with crooked teeth. I would be sad if their logic went like, the more talented a person is, the more crooked their teeth I could accept. My friend had a car accident in London some years ago and that messed something up. I am sure some men would have chosen to leave but hers did not. Her husband did not tell her to fix anything. A side note, fixing and repairing, in a relationship, are some essential skills. I do not want to be with someone who constantly thinks about jumping ship. Though we all know that some mistakes are simply beyond repair. "Would it be so bad if I slept with this girl, only once, behind my wife's back?" Yes, it would be over. I would like to find someone who not just likes the beginning of things but also the things after that. Someone who I could share both the best and the worst years of my life with. And, you know, someone to watch Fargo with.
What I am looking for - Short version (there is a long version, with explanation, follows) - A single, monogamous, adult (stop asking me for an age range. If you can get married without your parents’ approval, you are welcomed to message me) man who is looking for a lifelong relationship, has time to be in a committed relationship, will become my best friend, is in shape/ not too out of shape, is reasonably healthy, is mentally healthy and stable/ mentally unhealthy and unstable but has been monitoring the progress, mentally available, is a meat eater, is a non smoke rarely smoke, is a non drinke social drinker, is a non drug addict (weed is fine), is a non gambling addict, is a non porn addict, is a virgin/ non virgin but was always responsible to their exes (wore condoms EVERY TIME and never had STDs), is okay with no cohabitation, is okay with no premarital sex, is not into anything kinky, wants kids (biological kids/ adopted kids), is okay with your spouse not taking birth control pills, is okay with your spouse not wearing an IUD, is debt free/ with justifiable debt, is religious/ non religious, is eligible to apply for a passport (and meet each other) If you do not agree with everything I said above then we are not compatible. “I agreed with most of the things you said.” What does that even mean? I have had enough messages telling me that they do not entirely agree with what I said but would like to see where things go. The answer is nowhere. I do not have time nor do I want to build a castle on sand. I also have had enough messages telling me to reconsider things. I won't. What I like - Sun Snow Trees Woodworking Agriculture Plants Good food Hot food Hot soup Warm words Laughing Wool yarn Wool clothing Names with stories, say like, street names Dining wares Trains Photography Old stories - old movies and shows Good stories - movies, shows and documentaries, books, music with good lyrics Good arts Thrift stores Flea markets What I am looking for - Long version - A strictly monogamous relationship that is happy, healthy, supportive, and lasts forever. I am not looking for dick pictures, chat buddies, dirty chat buddies, hookups, love affairs, friends, friends with benefits, sugar daddies, sugar uncles, sugar sons, rebound dating, short-term dating, several years dating, polyamorous, open, or online-only relationships. Communication - I would make time to talk to my SO every day, and very much prefer so, even just to hear that they are safe and sound. But I would be understanding if they are out in Antarctica and the satellite Internet at the work station does not always work properly, or something like that. I would like to deal with all the hardships in life together as a team. Having arguments in a relationship is somewhat unavoidable. I like straightening things out, right away, in a logical, non violent, and non abusive way. I apologize when I make mistakes. Giving silent treatment is really not my thing. I am not saying that I do not have a temper. I do. I do get angry, but within reason. Keeping promises and being punctual are important to me. I always say “Gotta go” when I need to end a conversation. Mental health - The amount of toxicity I could take is arguably higher than average, but please alert me if you are struggling mentally. On a side note, I hope you do not like watching porn. It is a poor choice, and is both physically and psychologically damaging. I am not asking everyone of you to agree with me on this, or any other things I say in this post. Whatever floats your boat, strangers; just let me have the freedom to find whatever I am looking for. Distance - I am not looking for an online marriage. Future faking is a fucked up thing to do to another person. If you need nude pictures, phone sex or Skype sex to make a long distance relationship works, I am not the person you are looking for. Meeting for the first time - I have given this a lot of thoughts, still I do not really know when and where would be good to meet up. We could meet either before we go into a relationship or after. It would probably be fairer for us to fly to a foreign place to meet, it means we would have to trust each other enough to do that. In that case it would make more sense to meet after the relationship has already been established. Also we would have to deal with this whole “OMG covid is deadly!” thing. I think it is doable to fall for someone just by talking. Though I am aware that people are often not who they claimed they are. Those who say they are loyal could be experienced cheaters. But we will see. When in doubt, I ask questions. Marriage - I have never been married but I would like to get married. The last thing I want is a divorce. The word marriage has sort of become a dirty word now but I am old fashioned. I like relationship labels, and I hope you are the same. A side note, I'm not into having a big wedding. Or a diamond ring. Or to dress fancy for a pre-wedding shoot. The National Gallery of Art has three self portraits of a Hungarian photographer and his wife. I would like to have a wedding like theirs. Which means I would just like to hang out with my SO somewhere, take some pictures ourselves, and call it a wedding. If you never had a proper family, fear not, we would have one on our own. However, having a toxic childhood should not be an excuse for exhibiting toxic behaviors. I would never set myself on fire to keep you warm. It would not help. Sex - It would be too intimidating if you have had unsafe sex, a lot of sex, or many sexual partners in the past. And I do not want to be intimidated. Don’t give me that classic “oral sex/ cyber sex is not really sex” BS. Premarital sex is off the table. People make fun of those who have never had sex, which I do not get. I do not have a past, and would strongly prefer someone who also does not. It seems fairer that way, and in that way I would not have to grieve over your past. But, then again, grieving is a part of life. It is alright if you are not a virgin, just do not lie. I do not really have a sex drive. Mentally speaking, I would be okay if you never wanted to have sex, I would also be okay if you wanted to have a lot of sex. Because I do not specifically crave for sex; I crave for love. In other word, I count all types of affection as a whole, and sex does not specifically stand out from all the rest. Physically speaking, I would not be compatible with those who have a high sex drive, as I think overindulgence in sex is destructive. I am not really a robot, and so daily sex sounds off putting as fuck to me. I would not be compatible with those who are into kinky sex/ filming sex tapes, also. There is nothing wrong with those, they are just not my thing. I think having boundaries in bed does not mean I do not love them, or love them less than those who have no boundaries. I would never take birth control pills/ wear an IUD, because they have many side effects that I do not want to deal with. Respect my choices. Kids - I do not have kids. But I would like to raise kids. Ask yourself, honestly, if you are mature enough, and ready to be a father. "But I am not ready, just yet; there are things I want to achieve before I become a father." Find someone younger, then. I would like to add that I have no reason to doubt my fertility as I take reasonably good care of myself. I have no, and never had any, chronic diseases or illnesses. Am at a healthy weight, somewhat slim even. 5 feet 7 inches tall. In the event that I was infertile, surrogacy would not be an option. It goes against my morals. So, again, think twice. I would like to raise adopted kids, and treat them like they are my biological kids. I would not dump my husband if, he was found to be infertile at any point of the marriage. Technically I would be okay if you do not want to raise kids at all, but providing a home for some orphans is something I could do, and I do not want to pass that on. Living together - I have always, and still am against the idea of living together before marriage. There is nothing wrong with cohabitation, it is just again not my thing. I would gladly introduce my roommate when I was in school to you if you are worried that I have some weird quirks. I might or might not bribe her before I introduce her to you. Living with parents - Sure, I would not think less of you. There are reasons why people choose to live with their parents. Cars - I do not care whether you have a car or not. Money - I am not rich, and was not born rich, but I have no debts. Never had debts. I am aware that some debts are justifiable, like student loan. I worked in the academia. I just started doing something new, related to my field of study, and that makes me happy. Whether you are a postdoc, or a high school drop out, makes no difference to me. For those who think that throwing me a sentence like “I am a lawyer” would be enough to make me talk, have some self respect. I am fine with my Reddit inbox collects only dust. Religion - I suppose I have always been mostly an agnostic. My parents sent me to a Christian middle school, then a Christian high school. It would be great if you are a God believer and do not mind me being a non religious person. We could read Bible together. It would also be great if you are a non religious person but follow traditional values. Smoking, drinking and doing drugs - I do not smoke cigarettes. Or vape. Or whatever. I do not do soft/ hard drugs. Have no past addictions. I do not take over-the-counter drugs even. I do not drink alcohol. If you drink responsibly, then I do not have a problem with that. Dietary choices - I am an omnivore. Have no food allergies. Please be a meat eater. I do not want to get into an argument with you over a tuna egg sandwich I make for our kids. I would not raise my kids vegan. They should be able to make their own choices when they are old enough. I like cooking quite a bit. Would learn to cook all your favorite dishes. Pets - I do not have any pets. Gaming - I do not gamble. I have never played any video or computer games. Game soundtracks though I do often pay attention to. Tattoos - Sure, why not? Earrings - Why not? I would buy you earrings. Long hair - Why not? I would braid your hair when you are asleep, though. Politics - I am against communism, and totalitarianism. Trump 2020. I’m against his vaccination plan, though. But he was tough on China. Look at the US now, it’s basically China’s territories. Please read my reddit history. I pretty much stopped using this account altogether, except posting on Foreveralonedating, because this account has 33 male followers, and that is creepy, and makes me feel very uncomfortable. But my reddit history should give you a hint on what kind of a person I am. (Update: 68 followers now, which shows you how disgusting and creepy some, if not most, men on this site are.) P.S. This is Reddit, a wonderful yet utterly dangerous place, strangers. Especially for women. So many people prey on the weak. Even scammers would spend an hour writing and tell you that “you are everything I have been looking for since forever”. I laughed out loud at “I would relocate for you but it depends on where exactly you are” messages. “I am 100% (insert a race here), and I couldn’t aim to have kids with a wife who isn’t (insert a race here).” messages are laughable. Don’t bother, kiddos. The only time I accept people bringing up the skin color thing is when it concerns our adopted kids, if you understand what I mean. Canned messages are easy to spot, because I am smarter than you imagined. There were people who messaged me from throwaway accounts, which I noticed later filled with porn posts. Accounts with no post history are fishy. Anyhow at some point let's do a photo verification. Maybe we could take a selfie while holding a piece of paper with something like "Today's February 33 1920" written on it. Thank you all for sending me a selfie right off the bat. But I do not trust you enough to click on it. Also please do not ask me to talk to you over the phone/ do a video chat with you right off the bat. If you absolutely do not know what to write, check out "pinned post II", there's a list of 30 questions. I talk to one person, if even there was one, at a time. TL;DR - I am a non religious person who holds traditional values and beliefs, which for obvious reasons give me a hard time these days. If you see this post, message me, no matter when.
But if you haven’t yet confirmed (but do suspect) that your spouse or partner has a gambling addiction, look carefully at his or her behavior patterns for signs that gambling has become more than just a casual occurrence. Compulsive lying is one of the symptoms of compulsive or pathological gamblers. The last way a spouse can enable gambling is by becoming a direct or indirect participant in the problem. It’s not uncommon for the spouse of a gambler to develop a taste for gambling herself. When this happens, the gambler is usually quick to tap into this enthusiasm and use it in ways that compromise his wife and justify his own behavior. Has made repeated unsuccessful efforts to control, cut back, or stop gambling. Has committed illegal acts (e.g., forgery, fraud, theft, or embezzlement) in order to finance gambling. Has jeopardized or lost a significant relationship, job, or educational or career opportunity because of gambling. Has relied on others to provide money to relieve A Gambling Problem: Recognizing the Signs. A gambling problem is defined as behavior that disrupts life, even if it’s not out of control. The reasons for excessive gambling vary, but many people use it to alleviate stress or feelings of incompetency. The following signs may indicate your spouse has a gambling problem: Your partner can even talk in confidence at local meetings held by Gamblers Anonymous. Sharing their problem with others who are seeking help with gambling can make them feel less alone. Recovering from a gambling addition could take its toll, mentally and emotionally. Seek support for your mental wellbeing from charities such as Mind and Time Is your spouse currently dealing with a gambling problem, and you can’t figure out why they’re behaving the way they are? There are lots of people that can go out to a casino and enjoy the fun in gambling whether they win or lose. However, there are other individuals who over the course of time develop an addiction to gambling that can ultimately tear apart their lives. A gambling addiction -- or compulsive gambling -- is an illness that has no cure. If your husband can't control himself when it comes to betting, knowing how to handle his addiction can make the difference between helping him to arrest his illness and feeding his compulsion. In some situations, for example, when one spouse has a gambling problem that has dissipated the marital estate, a court may take actions to compensate the other spouse. For example, if a couple has $250,000 in net worth at the time of the divorce because the husband spent $50,000 gambling in the last year of the marriage, it wouldn’t be If it's your spouse doing the gambling, versus an adult child or parent or family friend, think about your 401(k). Your kids' college savings accounts. Any account that has his or her name on it. The effects of a spouse’s addiction can reach far beyond the one who has the addiction. Gambling addictions can, and most often do, negatively impact marriage. According to the Georgia Department of Behavioral Health , the rate of divorce is significantly higher for problem and pathological gamblers than low risk or non-gamblers.
Homer Simpson You Have A Gambling Problem - YouTube
What happens inside the brain of a gambling addict when they make a bet - and can the secret to their addiction be found within the brain itself? BBC Panoram... Mine bitcoin free and easy with a Cryptotab browserhttps://cryptotabbrowser.com/17282529 When one spouse thinks that the other has a spending problem, this can be a recipe for a marriage disaster if it's not handled correctly. There are so many feelings around how we handle our money ... If you have concerns with gambling, there is help available: Ontario Problem Gambling Helpline 1-888-230-3505 www.problemgamblinghelpline.ca For additional r... Going through a divorce is difficult, even more so when your spouse has a substance or alcohol abuse problem. In this video, divorce attorney Aimee Pingenot ... I’m about to kill this man! 😂😂
