With 42 crisp hundreds lining my pocket and child-like wonder pulsating, Vegas was summoning me from the bowels of hell. But first, I had to take a little detour by Morongo Casino for no particular reason other than recently reading up about Jackson's Seminole Wars and Cherokee policy; felt like the right thing to do.
I smoke a few bowls from my apple piece and do some Tai Chi in the parking structure to immerse into the zone. Within the zone, I am as objective as a poker player as I can comprehend; once the zone crumbles to ego, I am a PLO donk from the pit of eternal suffering and going all in on long shot stock options. It's a perplexing duality to rationalize and live with, though I wouldn't have it any other way. I lost a wee bit under 10k two weeks before with said degeneracy; regardless, there I was harnessing my Chi in the parking structure to redeem myself - maybe I should have been volunteering at a soup kitchen or raising malnourished kittens instead of this self centered quest, but the journey had already commenced..
The only game with an open seat is a 5/10 and I sit down with $666 for my own amusement. The villain of this hand had accidentally revealed his cards to my peaking eyes a few hands before where he floated 2x and bombed a paired board with nothing against a nit. Having known this, I flatted his 3b to 105 with my QQ's because his range is too wide to rip it and checked to him when the board came T95 rainbow, surprisingly he checks back. Turn is a 4 (bringing in clubs) and I lead for 60 to hopefully induce - he flats. River is an offsuit Ace and I check it, he insta rips all in for 550 effective. I ruminate on quantum theory and my mother's abuse, then make the crying call only due to the fact that I saw his donkalicous play before. Sure enough, he flops over 57h and the trip is off to a BANG. After playing tight for another hour and as the table slowly began to break, I walk out with nearly a grand more to my name.
I sat in my Volvo wagon with an American spirit fading to my finger tips and Bach's E Major Partita emitting from mere mm's of my phone's speakers, I realized I had completed the most objective objective of this trip.. The only reason I set off was because my cello "broke" the day before and the degen tingles were too convincing without a bow in hand, now I had more than enough in profit to get my baby tuned up. But who the fuck has the time to act upon their conscience, I'm tryin to GAMBOL! "Vegas, here I come darlin."
I stopped in Barstow to force myself to vomit and then gently placed a tab of LSD under my tongue in ode to Dr. Gonzo. I tried deciphering some meaning in the vast array of stars as I wandered the barren Mojave and after coming up short, I was back to flooring it on the 15. My optics were melting a tad and the road did permeate with my breath, but not an ounce of fear radiated within. I sang my favorite songs from "O Brother Where Art Thou" and didn't think about my ex at all with "You Are My Sunshine," baby steps. With the dusk hue fading as rays of light mustered over the horizon, our beloved capitalist wasteland was within eye shot. Before I could render the inclination of a responsible thought, I was in the Bellagio parking lot smoking weed with some drunk broad beggin for a few bucks to throw on slots - "Ganja is the only charity I provide hon."
After a few orbits at 5/10 with a far too many regs that I recognized and getting a walk with Aces, I stand up right there n then and get the hell out of that nit fest. My soul was aching for 4 cards and there's no forsaking such a ravenous urge, Aria was my destiny.
Due to the fact that live 1/2/5 PLO is actually abbreviated for BINGO, most of my play was incredibly standard and not worth typing out. There was only one hand for which wasn't a cognitive snap decision against a 10/20 pro for whom I had top set and let 3 potential straight combos get there from foolish slow play; after a minute of deciphering the hand and his perception of my image, I called his $400 river bet and got the good news. Aside from that single hand, any domesticated chimp could have been in my seat and it wouldn't have made a difference; the hands played themselves out. After 72 hours of continuous grinding and gettin lucky at 5/5/10, I reached the sacred $4,200 in profit and doubled my trip's first stop loss amount (which I had no intention of adhering to).
With 84 mildly crumpled hundreds in my pocket and that same child-like wonder pulsating; here I am wandering the strip looking for the stories in all these confused faces. But conceptualizing the seemingly infinite dimensionality within even the simplest of folk is futile when I am just as confused; I hope the find what they are looking for or find that the looking is the fun part, who the fuck knows. I appears as though the next leg of my journey is to visit my childhood home in southern Utah and commit Felony arson in spite of my mother - or I might just keep degening away. Only time will tell.
​
Safe travels comrades.

Hello my fellow poor people! Welcome to this week's “Malikas Kards Konfidential," inside production details/family notes from KUWTK’s last episode, “Sister, Sister and a Babymoon”
Needing 2 weeks of multiple health screens after watching this Malika-filled episode, producers surprised us with a trip to Morongo where we could pretend that we really care about the Malikas just for a brief moment in time. They gambled, put their own health at risk, discussed the horrors of giving birth to a person that’s about to pop, and honestly, nothing more. I realize that for most people, this episode is something so far out of reach from the normal Kardashian realm, so in moments like these, I am humbly reminded why this show is coming to an end. #ThisIsTorture
Our A-plot is Khloe taking Malika on a babymoon, something that is apparently a very real thing, and our B-plot was Corey v. Kendall. Let’s dive in before we're all haunted by Robert Kardashian's hologram!
Cold Open/Scene 1: Kourtney and Kim discuss Kendall/Kylie fight

• Producers say Kourtney and Kendall spend the most time poolside at Kris' Palm Springs House.
• When the family films in the pool, producers usually watch from Kris' outdoor grill and bar area.
• Producers were still reeling from Kendall and Kylie's fight. They assumed the drag show ended their Palm Springs filming, but then things got turned upside down.

Scene 2: Kim and Khloe talk about the fight while Kourtney sits in the corner and says nothing

• Producers spent a bit of time with Kim and Kendall after the fight to better understand what went down.
• The girls are in one of Kris' guest rooms... The 14,500 square foot home has 7 bedrooms in total.
• Kim and Kourtney's fight was still very fresh for producers even though it happened a few months ago. Producers say intense sister fights of that magnitude don't happen very often.
• Because none of the sisters were actually present for Kendall and Kylie's fight, they were hesitant to take sides. They hoped Kylie and Kendall could work things out themselves.

Scene 3: Kim, Khloe and Scott talk about the fight + Malika's babymoon

• Producers make sure every family member involved in an argument has their side captured on camera. "It's important we don't come off like the show is presenting only one person's perspective and emotions."
• Although her sisters reached out, it was Kris that Kylie was in touch with the most after the fight.
• Before giving birth to True, Khloe took a sister "baby moon" with Kim and Kourtney to Tokyo.
• After Kim and Kanye announced in 2013 that they were expecting for the first time, they escaped to Paris for a "little baby moon"
• Malika has said she craved cereal throughout her whole pregnancy.
• Malika has said she'd love to have twins one day, just not in her first pregnancy.
• There were a lot of mixed feelings when Scott started coughing. Most producers didn't know what to think or take seriously yet.
• The crew also tried holding their breath and counting to ten.
• Producers thought Kourtney was the family member who might get bored during lockdown. She loves to travel, so it would be hard for her to suddenly be grounded.
• Producers thought Kim would love the downtime... she's so busy, it would be nice for her to get a breather from all of her obligations.
• u/LinusRanger13 NOTE: Alright let's hold up a minute because we got some kontinuity ERRORS up in here. Let's call this scene for what it is: staged. This scene was filmed on March 30th, 2020, three weeks after Kendall/Kylie's fight and Malika's babymoon. I can tell because Kim is wearing the same shirt/hairstyle that she wore while taping virtual interviews for The Tonight Show and The View, the latter of which which aired the next day. Poor Malika... she's just trying to spend some time with her newborn baby, but this is the price you pay for taking over Kourtney's spot on the show! This must also mean that they were NOT quarantining separately here... as this was just two weeks after the L.A. shutdown. A professional camera crew clearly shot this as well, so let's hope they all got tested before filming!

Scenes 4/5: Malika sits through labor horror stories during her baby moon lunch + en route to Malika's favorite spot in the world, Morongo

• Malika's babymoon was the same week (erhm, the day after) that Khloe had been in Palm Springs with her family.
• The girls wanted a cute outdoorsy restaurant that was close to Morongo.
• In August 2020, Khadijah announced she was pregnant with her third baby. She gave birth to her son Christian in 2010 and daughter Celine in 2014.
• It made Malika nervous to hear all the birth stories over lunch.
• The girls got recognized at lunch, but producers say people were respectful.
• Palm Springs is frequented by L.A. residents. Producers say everyone kind of gets it and isn't so out of control the second they see a celebrity and cameras around them.
• A long bathroom break at the restaurant held up the girls. Producers say it started with Malika, then everyone was in there with her, so it took her forever to get on the road.
• It was only a 20-minute drive from lunch to Morongo.
• Producers say Malika got pretty carsick whenever she wasn't driving.
• Production provides a basket of snacks when filming on long drives.
• All the sisters have given pregnant members of production great advice about labor and delivery.

Scene 6: Kylie breaks away from STASSSIE BABBBYYY to fulfill her contractual obligations by participating in a scene w/Kris at her office

• Both Kris and Kylie have the same exact desk size in their offices.
• Because Kris is seen by many as a "boss bitch mega-mogul," it's easy to forget she's parented 6 kids. Producers are always in awe when that side of her comes out.
• Kylie and Kendall have bickered about "typical sister stuff" over the years, like borrowing each other's clothes without saying anything.
• Some of producers' favorite memories of filming Kylie and Kendall as little girls were during family trips... most notably the Dominican Republic, Greece and Bora Bora.
• Producers say those trips were a lot of fun, and the girls would film music videos with the whole family.
  • u/LinusRanger13 NOTE: Here's another bonus music video from back in the day. :)
• Producers say out of all her kids, Kim is the one Kris has the easiest time communicating with.

Scene 7: Khloe, Khadijah and the other girl day players celebrate Malika in their Morongo suites

• The girls had five suites at Morongo.
• Champagne and different juices were served at the "Momosa" bar.
• Khloe had never been to Morongo... it was a place Malika usually liked going to by herself.
• Besides hitting the casino, Malika wanted to lie by the pool in a cabana, go in the hot tub and do some shopping at the nearby outlets.
• Producers found it funny that Khloe went through drama over not packing proper clothes. "We thought it was funny and just rolled with it... they would've had fun if they all only brought sweats."

Scene 8: A future boring plot is SAVED by Corey reading Kendall for the "asshole" that she really is

• Corey just happened to have a mirror ball because of a prank that was being pulled on an associate producer.
• Corey and Kris are big Dancing With The Stars fans. And, Rob and Kim's time on the show are some of the family's favorite memories.
• This was Kris and Corey's first time meeting Artem, but Kris and Cheryl Burke already went way back.
• Cheryl was Rob's partner on Dancing With The Stars.
• The man standing against the wall is Kris' security guard.
• Corey and Kris were learning the Argentine tango because they wanted to enter a small dance competition.
• Producers say Kourtney would also be a great dance partner for Corey. (okay? 😅Maybe not after he whoops Penelope's ass!)
• While Corey was on the phone with Kendall, Cheryl and Artem gave Kris a few pointers.
• Kris knew Corey was on with Kendall, but she had no idea things got so heated until after the call.
• Kris and Corey had a long dance session with Cheryl and Artem.
• Producers say Kris and Corey's dancing was actually pretty good, and their choreography was complex.
• Producers say maybe the footage of Kris and Corey's dancing will pop up in some future never-before-seen footage show.
• u/LinusRanger13 NOTE: This scene is legit, as it was filmed two days after the Kendall/Kylie fight, on Mon. 3/9/2020.

Scenes 9/10: Malika celebrates International Women's Day by telling the world she don't give a flying FUCK about her baby daddy's business + Khloe, Malika and their day players risk their health by playing in the casino amid a pandemic

• The family usually asks each other for their opinions before posting things on social media.
• Producers have joked that the girls should read their DMs on camera - but it's never happened.
• Many photos on the family's social media feeds are taken by the crew members. Audio supervisor Erin - aka Paxy - is their favorite "camera phone" photographer.
• Sometimes producers will set the lighting and the DP suggests the framing... helping with the family's social media pics becomes a fun little production.
• Throughout the babymoon, Khloe never took Malika's phone away... or made her take social media breaks.
• Malika said she didn't morning sickness at all during pregnancy.
• Malika has said, "I'm able to be a Malika because I have a Khloe.... we're a duo that's really tough to come by."
• Producers say the girls got recognized in the casino, and there was a point where a small crowd was gathered behind their table filming them.
  • u/LinusRanger13 NOTE: WOW, recognized with a full camera crew in tow!? SHOCKING.
• None of the girls hit up the slots, which was good for production... it's difficult to get clearance to film slot machines.
• Besides roulette, the girls also played blackjack for a while.
• Khloe won the most money that night.
• About 20 crew members went to Morongo.
• The girls spent about an hour in the casino.

Scene 11: This trip seems to never end as Khloe, Malika and their day players head to dinner

• Malika thought she was having contractions for about half an hour before dinner, but producers say nothing super alarming.
• Producers were really worried Malika would actually go into labor.
• Despite hearing about Morongo for years from Malika, Khloe had no idea what to expect.
• Producers say this was one of the longest dinners ever filmed. It lasted for hours - the girls hung out and were chatting forever.
• After dinner, Malika wanted everyone to play games back in the room, but Khloe and a producer were trying to figure out how to get out of it. It was really late and Malika needed to rest, even though Malika didn't feel like it.

Scene 12: This episode still drags on as Malika gives her baby a real kick by drinking caffeine

• Malika had been in pain on and off since waking up.
• There was talk about Malika pranking the girls by pretending her pain was getting worse, but that wasn't until later in the day when it was clear she was feeling fine.
• One of the most heartwarming moments for producers was when Malika shared a sonogram of the baby with them. It was the first time any of them saw her future son.
• Khloe and Malika did steal some private moments together early in the morning and at the end of filming.
• Khloe was first to leave because she had work obligations back home. The other girls took their time and hit up some shops on the way out.

Scene 13: Corey and Kris talk about the phone call w/Kendall

• When Kris moved into this house, production limited the amount of crew allowed inside to just a couple. That's significantly fewer than any of the girls' homes.
• Kris had spoken off-camera to producers about being in the middle of Corey and Kendall. They really felt for Kris as she struggled with her dilemma.
• Kendall didn't want to see Corey or film with him. Producers say she was still super upset.
• u/LinusRanger13 NOTE: After this scene aired, a "Konfidential Klip" was shown of Khloe, Malika and their other day players playing a baby game. Malika also pretends that she is in pain but plays it off as a joke. Hilarious! Nothing noteworthy here.

Scene 14: Khloe, masked up, is graced by a visit from Kris... who is shook by the new mask culture

• Khloe's assistant picked up the masks at a hardware store.
• When filming that day, production also wore masks per Khloe's request. Producers say masks weren't yet mandated.
• Some crew members were worried about Khloe's runny nose, while others were unsure what to think. The severity of it all was still not as clear as it is now.
• At this point, producers and the family were all freaking out and unsure what was going on. It was the next week when they stopped filming and went into lockdown.

Scene 15: Kendall shoots her Architectural Digest cover

• There were 15-20 people from the Architectural Digest team at the shoot, and just two people from the series production team.
• According to producers, the most impressive part of Kendall's house is her art room. It has curtains that are actually a canvas you can paint on.
• Sometimes the family copies each other's interior design ideas, but producers say they have individual vibes and like keeping certain things unique to their individual homes.
• Producers were surprised that Kendall and Kylie still weren't speaking. Khloe and Kendall discussed the drama with Kylie for about 30 minutes, then Khloe "really started coming apart," say producers.

I'm in South OC, and I know of Pechanga, San Manuel, and Morongo.
They all seem to be between 1.5 and 2 hours drive from me. What I'd like to do is take a shuttle there and back so I can just play on my phone or something during the drive if that's possible.
Surely some of you have been to at least one of these casinos. How did you plan your trip? Did you just hop in your car and go? Did you enjoy it? I prefer table games (craps and let it ride with some roulette thrown in), how were they? What's the min bet?
Anything else you'd like to tell me about getting to/avoiding these places (or some place else you know of) is appreciated :)